think about
one thing

care about
one thing

challenge
one thing

believe in
one thing

that is
a start

entering the seed
to sleep

I want to be
nurtured

like when
I was small

I want the
chance to

grow again

shed most
everything

until I am
a sliver

of myself
like the moon

I was always parts
of others

held together
with white glue

sticky not strong

not strong enough
to stand on my own

I met her
by accident

she opened herself
and spoke to me
with her soul

soft words

that I could hold
within me

soft words
that did not
damage me

alien words
that let me breathe

alien words
that created
more space

than they
occupied

freeing me
to become

we feel in each other

the tight breath of
the starving

the offbeat of
the broken

heart

the shivering of
the untouched

startled by the
soft whisper of hair

sending a spark

when almost touching
any part of skin

and when we
enter the dark

our sharp tongues
enter each other

like venomous snakes

cutting inside
our mouths
spreading poison

we shed our skin
we shred our names

we exchange our
empty vows

vanquishing our language
we learn to feel

in each other

at the end
the words

had no form
they were bullets

exchanged

without direction
sprayed everywhere

there was no real
intent

other than to
inflict pain

on each other
like a spaghetti

western
there were

no victims here
just a couple

of anti-heroes
staring each

other down

after much effort

I become a sentence
perfectly formed

everything in its place
I am the creator

of sensemaking
I do not want

to be copied
or pasted

I do not want
to be shared

or followed

I want to be memorized
and repeated

as a prayer

I want to be carved
and live in marble

like so many of
my ancestors

I was born
without roots

free to land
in any field

and spread
myself

words and all

into others
find the other

lost souls
and create

a messy garden
wherever we

land and when
the others

want to clean
us up

we can follow
a breeze to

a more
welcoming

land and
spread our

simple seeds

I am so freaking human.  I want to die.  feelings are these animals.  rampaging.  words are these viruses.  ******* my brain.  from a crazy straw.  I can feel the pressure.  being swallowed by a snake. I can feel each curve.

I am so freaking human.  the planet is dying.  vomiting all these chemicals.  raining acids.  accidently making ****.  she is weak and confused.  unable to control.  even her base
survival instincts.

I am so freaking human.  she is telling me.  close my mouth.  I talk too much.  while saying nothing.  she is telling me.  give in to my two ears.  hear what is always around me.  stay still and silent.  she will tell me secrets.

I am so freaking human.  but today I will try.  to be still and silent.  I will try to listen.  to her.  but I am so freaking human.  and I must want to die.  why else would I keep living like this.

certainty is a necessary evil.

it helps us act.
but it is not real.

or true.

because you.
are certain.

it is true.
because.

it is true.

always be careful.
around those who.

are certain.

she lights
fires in

simple men

we don’t ask
for much

just a touch
of sin

we can be
your afterthought

just make us
feel real

the moment

you light
the spark

it is something
wonderful

to feel like
you are

understood
by someone

it is the one
time you belong

for some of us
it is a fleeing

moment

we treasure all
our lives

it is like
all the precious

metals in the
world became

one and we
bury it deep

so we can
discover it

again

yes she said
I know

sometimes
I like to

bury myself
in blue

is this a deal
breaker

for you
I hope not

I hope you
understand

I need these
blue days

so I

don’t cover
myself in

red

I dreamt
I was soft

and could be changed
squeezed into molds

to be formed into
something else

something valued
something desired
something created

by the soft hands
of someone with

an imagination

do I laugh
enough

I think it is harder

to laugh
at this
distance

laughter is
itself

a virus
we share

with each
other

can one
virus ****

another

it is harder
to laugh

at this distance

never the angel
she escaped

Schrodinger’s box
she was alive

and we all knew it
we wanted

to live life
like her

outside the box
and if we died

living like her
we wanted

everyone to
know it

tonight my
muscles ache

a rope
threaded
throughout

tied way too tight

sometimes my
body feels

this way
without reason

and on these nights

it is hard to breathe
it is hard to think
it is hard to write

when everything
is so tight

it is so bad
I don’t even want

to take sides anymore
I don’t want to

believe in any
of them and

I never really have

I want to believe
in our system

that it will be
bigger than any

one human

every human is
biased and
potentially corrupt

(the truth about us
humans cannot be
avoided)

but maybe together
we can create

something that
checks our

most base instincts
(to self-preservation)

and maybe
it can last

and that is the

basis of our
system

to help us check
each other and

ourselves

but check is
an action

and if it does
not occur

(if people don’t
perform their roles)

then why does
it matter

what was
all of this

for

has the grand
experiment

failed in the end

I just started
playing with

w o r d s

they were like
blocks and

my mind was
clumsy

everything I
wrote was a
sloppy mess

then paging
through a book

I stumbled on
a poem named

f e r n s

it became my
model

teaching me
how to paint

with    w o r d s

we laugh when
the dark clouds

form

we do not melt
in the rain

sometimes
we dance

naked like
the stars

water is magic
H 2 O

defines it but it
does not explain it

water seeds life
and heals bodies

each day that
passed

each time we
laughed

I held my
real words

inside my
mouth

I felt like
a squirrel

I always passed
as a friend

when I really
wanted to be

a lover

I guess that
made me

a liar

red lights
frame her

s-shaped
body

she leans
against

the wall

eyes closed
she inhales

deeply as
the ashes

grow beyond
reason

smoke
is a snake

dance

she smiles
feeling relieved

fatale

legs to
eternity

wearing

shiny thigh
high boots

in the rain

she leans
against

a light post
like she owns

the streets

she doesn’t
ask

she smokes em
cause she

got em

can a rock
be smooth

and raw

I feel her
voice like

it belongs
in me

every edge
meant to

cut me

every line
meant to

heal me
her story

is short
but her

power is
eternal

she makes
me want

more
every time

I hear her

we cross boundaries
and love our neighbors

as ourselves

intermingling ideas
like spider webs

stronger because
we are connected

he could never
understand this

his book was
written as a child

his brain and heart
were frozen

and never grew
larger than himself

even the grinch
learned how to grow

ferocity flows
through her

touch her
feel your

sparks ignite
tiny explosions

that tickle
your deepest parts

like your soul
is being

massaged

you can finally
relax and forget

and let yourself
go anywhere

is the nature
of my mind

filling in blanks
making things

end in tragedy
following ghosts

into dark corners
scaring myself

sick

it wasn’t what
they said

to her that
made her

pray

she was
a true

believer
and I

was jealous
of that

certainty
she didn’t

know how
rare she was

she believed
the best in

others and
of life

but I lived in

a different
world

from another
world

her light
let everyone

feel warm
so they could

release their
pain

she was innocent
but she took

within her
the hatred of

others

dissolving it
turning it

into her light
helping everyone

feel warm

untamed and
wild

each strand
a story

of the night
before

lost in a
secret garden

a cut rose
in your hair

a fragrance
that lingers

for years

I think
before I sleep

trying to
influence

my dreams
to give me

answers in
those mystical

night creatures

those lynchian
stories

that have no
beginnings or

endings

that make me
sweat and

wake up
drenched

feeling like
I learned

something
important

but not
knowing

what it was

the machines have stopped
the music can be heard

but don’t dance today

ballerina
the air can’t hold you

without all its pollution
it has lost its weight

eternal
creatures

inhabiting
small places

survivors
of all the

holocausts
replicators

hives
hills
tunnels
nests

societies­ of
the many

not one

our teachers
if we were

willing to learn

each star is
a letter

we look up
at the same

time in our
different

places and
create words

we name
each other

describing
all our

different parts
and how

they connect
or how we

want them
to connect

she was patient

the ocean on
a calm day

she waited
every day to

photograph
the rain

wanting to capture
and display

each drop

to show the
beauty of

waiting for love

if I could hear
every sound

I would pick up
your whispers

and your sighs
and hold them

like beautiful
flowers ignoring

everything else
in nature

knowing nothing
else is beautiful

to me

she is not scared

little red loves
the sun

lets her pale
skin freckle

so they sparkle
like stars

her body
comes alive

in the heat
dancing circles

around the sun

creating a swirling
pool of sweat

that she hopes
drowns the moon

and kills the night

couldn’t sit still

made many nests
out of the discarded

was startled
by the sudden

and scared of
being held

created sounds
so pure

they made me cry

I could watch her
listen to her
name her

that’s all she
let me do

has one voice
loud it

insists upon
itself

it does not
have ears

it will give

it will not
receive

feedback

it is not
thoughtful

it has already
reached

its conclusions

new words only
make it angry

it is an
untamed

animal
bent on

destroying
anything that

is not itself

lines are drawn to
capture shades and shapes

creating relationships

I am a figure myself
captured caged space

but sometimes
parts of me leak

slip between my cracks

creating stains I
cannot not see

until they appear

Our bodies are
commingled in gold.

We close our eyes
so that our bodies
are the only things that see

and now I see you
for the first time.

With only my fingertips
I learn the details
of your face,

the sudden warmth
of your cheeks,
the space of a
missing eyelash.

I touch your lips
with my lips
and pull you into me.

I feel you pull away
just enough
for me to follow.

teaching me…

Woman is a process,
and man is made of wood.

I am alone
in this world
without depth

everything is a smooth rock
skidding along the surface

one, two, three times
creating small circles
that disappear quickly

having no sustained effect on anyone

I am alone
in this world
without connection

everything is a sudden pulse
spreading into the universe

one, two, three billion pulses
pinging against each other
then going off to another

having no sustained effect on anyone

there are places
we never echo

our words do
not carry

the clouds
do not move

and the wind is
not present

the earth is
happy to hold

our secrets
it is ancient

it has heard
everything

in every language

it is the safest
place to scream

she was young
without direction

her road
was not paved

each step
was rough
on her bare feet

and she slipped
so many times

cutting herself

leaving partly healed
scars all over

the lonesome
highway is
eternal

once it finds you
there are no off-ramps

only rest stops

it feasts on
roadkill

leaving behind
the softest parts

I study the
human world

the world of
artifacts and

artifice

we are the gods
of the artificial

creating a lot
of things

a lot of
individual
things

and we use
a lot of
resources

to create
these things

and sometimes

we stumble upon
things that work

if only we learned
how to learn

we could be so
much better than

this

can I ask you
a favor

if I lie on the
table in front

of you
will you

use a thin blade
make a small

incision in
my chest

remove the part
of me that needs

dissect my soul
until you

reach the seed

so you can
understand why

I live and
explain it

to me

each day

a colorful
array

laid out

one after
the other

with
scientific
names

I can’t
remember

each day

a colorful
array

I swallow

one after
the other

if I remember

with the tightest
of grips I hold
on to what was
become a statue
no one wants
to visit or clean
so that
all the hardness
holding me
together
turns me brittle
and like an old
leaf meeting
two feet
I break apart
and dissolve
into dust

her body
is a formula

a mathematical
recipe for

perfection
and control

each muscle

has a voice
in a chorus

singing hymns
declaring devotion

to her gift

I feel religious
when I watch

her dance

and on those
nights

the waters grow
still and

there is no flow
all thoughts

become one
and they

don’t spread
they burrow

toward the
bottom

where the
dark creatures

swim

I could drown
it would be

so easy

I left it
alone