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Apr 2019 · 108
confused
John Destalo Apr 2019
I asked her
everyday

to make me want

I just know I
can get

everything I want

but I lost
my want

so I don’t
get anything
Apr 2019 · 127
small creatures
John Destalo Apr 2019
there are these
small creatures
skittering about
the earth

they live on
another frequency

they are tuned
into all the sudden
and subtle

movements
moments

feeding off the scraps
left by others

they are curious
creatures

if you remain still
and silent

they might approach you

but as soon as you move
make a loud noise

they will scurry away
and hide

I am a small creature
John Destalo Apr 2019
I

I am in a dream
with sullen creatures

we have holes
in our pockets

losing hope and
other pieces of lint

our shadows drip
like icicles
obeying the sun

spreading a little
darkness

down the drain

II

angels love
the smell of water

they cannot swim
so they fly close

enough to feel
the mist

hovering like hummingbirds
so that it covers them

and they drip
with desire

falling in love with
their own odors

III

fairies lift the air

sprinkling silver
dust on everyone

creating stars from
slivers of light

they live and love
in small places

spreading hope
around the world

waiting for all the
sullen creatures

to find them
Apr 2019 · 88
I hate punctuation
John Destalo Apr 2019
the thought never occurred to me at least not in its complete form fragments maybe at best come to me at times I am not ready and then quickly abate into confusion I do not like sentences more to the point I hate punctuation I would rather throw words together and let you figure out the starts and stops because where you want to stop may not be where I feel like pausing and this way we can both figure it out on our own there are no obligations for us to ride this thing out together but if I look over one night and find you on the same trail that would be great not saying that it is meant to be just that at that moment it is and then I will know we are both honest living our own lives close to the same spot on this planet if I am near you because you are you not because I am me there is something wrong with that inherently the daily interactions of our simple lives should bring us together so put in your own pauses or let it continue without stops until it burns out whichever way you like is right and when I want to stop and pause or start all over or elaborate I will do that
Apr 2019 · 93
gargoyles
John Destalo Apr 2019
on one house
on one street

on that house
on this street

they wait

biding their time
watching me
as I walk by

slowly

everyday I walk
by slowly

I don’t want
to startle them

I don’t want
to alarm them

I don’t want
to be the one

who awakens them

they already
live in my dreams
Apr 2019 · 147
devil Red
John Destalo Apr 2019
I turn her on
I turn her up

she can scream
into my ears and

I can bleed
in my head

til my brain is red
and her voice

is the river styx

flowing lava
into my last

synapse and

I am no
longer

connected to
a past

that never
served me

well anyway

she is evil when

only power
tells us who

is good
Apr 2019 · 93
the opposite of color
John Destalo Apr 2019
what is silk?

skin like
creamy milk

whole
bodied
white

ghosts
envy

my eyes
whisper

sweet nothings

my voice
tears up

wanting more

than what is
possible

my heart
is a balloon

eventually

popped or
deflated
Apr 2019 · 94
love rain
John Destalo Apr 2019
a candle just
beginning to

melt

slow drips
burn and

the smell of
sweet cinnamon

intoxicates

stronger than
strong drink and

I cannot think
or breathe or

think about
breathing

when I am

drowning in
love
Apr 2019 · 319
heartless
John Destalo Apr 2019
time is a vise
and each second
a squeeze

doesn’t everyone
eventually break?

don’t we have to?

she looked for
bright spots so

there must be
some darkness in
what she sees

right?

the future she saw
with him
was everything she
wanted

but not everything she needed

and each night
she fell asleep inside
his empty chest
Apr 2019 · 109
thrown
John Destalo Apr 2019
we never
really start

there is no
gun that signals
our beginning

there is just this
one day when
we wake up
and seem
to know
a little more
than we did
before we went
to sleep
the night before

and all these
little pieces
of knowing
start to add up

and somehow
we start to know
we are
somewhere

and somehow
we start to know
we are
something

and through this
“process”
we have guides

the living and the dead
showing us a way

and some of us
are lucky enough
to have good guides

showing us
a right way
a way that works
not just today
but for all the
tomorrows we
we going to face

life is a continuous
organization, deconstruction
and reorganization of all
these disparate pieces and
parts of knowing

life is a puzzle
that is never
really finished

life is a problem that
can never really
be solved

and we are
thrown into
the midst
of all this
life

into the deep end

containing all that was
and all that is
and that could be
or could have been

and we are told to swim
when we don’t
know how

and we are told to swim
when we don’t
even know the meaning
of “swim”
Apr 2019 · 665
nature vs. nurture
John Destalo Apr 2019
you can’t fake
raw

tortured

the black cat
is deep

screaming

“I am just
beginning”

sharp claws
extended

wanting to
cut the world

into pieces

he looks
at me

approaching
him

and saunters
away

we both know
if we were
the same size

one of us
would  be
dead
Apr 2019 · 211
the game of hands
John Destalo Apr 2019
rock covers paper
which is broken by the scissors
which is cut by the rock

she plays footsies
with her hands

she plays grab-***
with her teeth

she holds a knife
over me
as friendly as a bee

pollinating
there is no escaping

love
Apr 2019 · 84
pappy
John Destalo Apr 2019
Death was before me, lying still
the way he would sleep in his old
wooden rocker

I put my hand on his hand
the way I would when he was asleep
in his old wooden rocker

but this time it was cold

like last winter
when the heater broke

my brother stole
the blankets and
wouldn’t give them back

I couldn’t stop shivering
Mar 2019 · 119
lost in exotica
John Destalo Mar 2019
I want you
dark night

sensational

like the first
time I felt

life

racing
through me

a surge
of
computations

blocking
thought
from forming

I was
multiplying

and I felt like
I could become
a hundred me’s

and you would
love each
and every one

and when
sensational
became
just okay

it was devastating
to me

oh dark night

you could
not find
even one
of me
to love

so I needed
more
more
more
of me’s

I
concocted
a bright blue
liquid
of me’s

injecting
an explosion
of life back
into me

and then
you loved

each and
every me
all over again

like we were
the first time
again
and again and again

but this time
when sensational

became just okay
you were
devastated

leaving me
all alone

and tonight

oh dark night

tonight

without you
with only
this one
lonely me

I feel like
an angry cat

shedding glass
Mar 2019 · 102
the night wolf
John Destalo Mar 2019
I am alone
and hungry
I do not howl
or bay
I am bigger
than that
I stretch my
hairy neck
and bite the moon
squeeze it between
my sharpest teeth
until it bursts
and I feel the
heat exploding
against the
back of my
throat
I grow warm
all over
as I feel the
excess
drip down
my neck
I feel full
but I am not
satiated
not tonight
Mar 2019 · 94
save the birds
John Destalo Mar 2019
in life we
can lose things

important things

things that make us
human

things that make
us whole

in life we
can lose things

important things

so we cannot
speak our voice

so we cannot
see our true selves

so we cannot
hear the cries
of others

in life
we must grow
back these

important things

these things
that make us

human

we must grow back
our ears

so we can
save the birds
Mar 2019 · 87
we dream
John Destalo Mar 2019
we dream
we are fallen
angels

falling through
the puffiest clouds

landing in
different parts
of the planet

destined to
learn faith

through the
faith of those
we meet

so we can
redeem ourselves

and find
each other

in our
final and
forever form
Mar 2019 · 209
spinning wheels
John Destalo Mar 2019
she was gone
before I knew her

in the way we
get to know people
as we age

I was little more
than a child

when I left
and then

I was little more
than a child

when she left
for good

I still remember her
with the mind
of a child

I still judge her
with the mind
of a child

and now she walks
on pulses of light

somewhere above
the darkening sky

looking down
on me with

a face that
never ages

and I don’t know
how to help the

mind of a child
let her go

so we both can grow
in our own way
Mar 2019 · 67
yes, man
John Destalo Mar 2019
I am not real

I have learned
the secrets of
the slinky

the chameleon
blends into
each and every
situation

wanting nothing
but survival
nothing but
another day

the chameleon
has a name
but in the moment

you cannot see it
you cannot hear it
you cannot remember it

I have learned
the secrets of
the ghost

how to say yes
and disappear
Mar 2019 · 140
she plagiarized me
John Destalo Mar 2019
she plunged
her tongue
into my mind

rushing past
all the surface details

to tease out
my deepest
thoughts

she stood
in front of
everyone

shaking her
shapely
swizzle stick
for effect

her voice quaking
with uncertainty

as she read
each line
my lines

trying to make
everyone
think they
were hers

then she blushed
in front of
everyone

realizing that
even though
the words
weren’t hers

they were about her
Mar 2019 · 78
two brains
John Destalo Mar 2019
it lives in my first brain

the impulse
the reaction

the world is small
and simple here

there is no plan
and mistakes
frequently happen

before I even
know what happened

my second brain is
unable to intervene

it is capable
it can do so much more

but it rarely does anything

it remains still and silent
either scared or unaware
Based on the book "Thinking Fast and Slow"
Mar 2019 · 22.0k
in too deep (love and physics)
John Destalo Mar 2019
I was falling
for you

the feeling of
being weightless

the sky and
the ocean are
blue

like your eyes

your eyes and
Einstein’s brain

are the depths
I can never reach

but I will drown trying
to reach either or both
Mar 2019 · 86
like glass
John Destalo Mar 2019
everything breaks

healing does not
mean the pain
disappears

memories
clench into
the present

like fingers
and teeth

bleeding all
over the future
Mar 2019 · 100
the dagger
John Destalo Mar 2019
love is a dagger
with one clean edge

entering smooth
and with charm

it quickly makes
itself at home

becoming part
of me

growing in me
living off me

love is a dagger
with one jagged edge

and when it leaves
it rips me apart

taking more
than it gives

my insides
spilling outside

and I’m eaten
over and over

by

the appetite
of the ravens

love is a dagger
teaching me

everything has
two edges
Mar 2019 · 104
people please
John Destalo Mar 2019
people please
wake up

we can disagree
we need to disagree

democracy demands it

we are different
we want different things

we believe in
different things

but we need is
to understand each other

not agree with each other
we need to say

I understand where
you are coming from

but I don’t agree with you
and that needs to be okay

democracy demands it

we cannot give in to
the thirst for power

it is a disease
a contagious disease
it is spreading so fast

people please

fight it
love your neighbor as yourself
no matter what they believe

democracy demands it
I am an idealist; a watcher of the north star
I am a realist; perfection is a guide not a goal
Mar 2019 · 121
someday
John Destalo Mar 2019
some people have mouths
but they do not have ears

we are some people

we do not ask each other questions
we ask each other answers
already programmed in our heads

we feel the walls between us
we helped build the walls between us
I want to break the walls between us

but I am not strong enough yet

someday I hope to ask you a question
for which I do not know the answer
Mar 2019 · 87
angel break
John Destalo Mar 2019
huddled in the
white corner

tomorrows wait

little golden hearts
breaking without love

like flightless wings
aching for meaning
Mar 2019 · 179
last night
John Destalo Mar 2019
in a series of
dreams I

lost everything

and woke up
feeling whole
Mar 2019 · 135
breathe
John Destalo Mar 2019
white skin
reveals

one word
in cursive

etched in
black ink

a memory
a reminder

of the truth

air we hold
so dear

cleans us
relaxes us

gives us
so many

moments
of purity

each and
every day

try to
remember

and breathe
Mar 2019 · 174
the following
John Destalo Mar 2019
shadow tells
the story

the past
haunting

each step
what I was

will never
disappear

what I wanted
will never be
Mar 2019 · 423
am I MRI?
John Destalo Mar 2019
swallowing
melting white
magic to relax me

I am lying in
a tight space in a
large machine

a soft rag
placed over my eyes
to fool me

my head lifted, tilted
and squeezed

held in place

soft songs I requested
playing in my ears

trying to drown out
the rattle and humming

of the invisible rays
entering and exiting me

sending signals to
the machine
that will read me

am I that obvious?
John Destalo Mar 2019
life was young
and chaotic

there was no
purpose to me

or anyone else
around me

so I left the
house early

searching the
whole earth

for one truth
to hold me

with sunflower stars
lighting my way

I hid my lonely heart
in those wild fields

singing the song
of the honey bees

searching for
nourishment

******* on
all the honey

hidden in the wild trees
Mar 2019 · 86
dating darwin
John Destalo Mar 2019
the moon is full

the stars are
singing a
rock anthem

the earth is
deep and dark

and I am changing
so fast

surviving
everything

I taste thunder
on my lips

I spit lightning
from my eyes

nothing is
bigger than me

I outlive everything
John Destalo Mar 2019
She licked me
stuck her tongue inside of me
like I was an electric socket

like she saw some invisible, powerful
thing raging
inside this plain, broken exterior

something that would shock her
that would radiate inside her
make her curly hair stand end to end

like this cracked skin wasn’t meant to
protect what was inside

but to protect the outside from
what was living inside

and if she could only free it
if she could only feel it

she could become it

she wasn’t scared
this pretty girl likes electricity
Mar 2019 · 213
the end of want
John Destalo Mar 2019
I want to bellow
and growl

chew gravel

and sing the
last love song

so desperate and pure

that the earth can die
in its sleep

knowing there was
nothing left

to want
Mar 2019 · 157
Power Corrupts? Absolutely
John Destalo Mar 2019
it awakens
and spreads

a virus
finds the waves
in the air

and lets itself
be carried

into and out of
everything

calls on the
darkest resources

sleeping in the
heart of human souls

fear and anger
hatred

are only dormant
they can never die

people are the carriers
and the source

a single person can be
a carrier

but never the source

power needs
and needs and
needs

power is absolute
power needs
absolution

never grant it
hold it accountable

accountability is
the only antidote

that won’t let
the virus spread

that ends the
corruption

absolutely
Mar 2019 · 65
morning
John Destalo Mar 2019
It is ten in the morning and the sun still has not risen. We sit on our balcony sipping scotch and stare at the moon. We think it is the moon that has not set. It must have organized a coup. It has grown jealous of the sun’s attention, feeling itself the lesser god.

We have been outside forever, our language has become foreign to the others, but not to each other.  Our words are sung to each other as if a psalm.  The world that is outside our embrace could have ended and we would not care.  We have been inside each other forever.  I stare at your sad face, framed by the rays of the moon’s subtle heat, and realize again just how beautiful you are.

We see the first awakening of light, the color purple of the bruised moon, and quickly escape to the inside.  We sit side by side in our dark room high above the lifting fog and feel crushed by the rising sun.
Mar 2019 · 51
religious musings
John Destalo Mar 2019
god has a past

humans have memories
of more than themselves

they carry on legacies
bred into them

angels gather
arranging
themselves
into angles

creating sharp
points

to cut the
skin of humans
and corrupt
their smallest spaces

the humans bleed
and bleed
but no longer
sacrifice

we cry only
when we need

man is in an image

man is to god
as a star
is to man

dead lights
fireflies
Mar 2019 · 74
premature
John Destalo Mar 2019
In the tightness
of her womb
I could feel
my future.

Her breaking heart
bleeding into me;

weighing me down.
Mar 2019 · 152
a modern dance
John Destalo Mar 2019
a
human
egg

arms
wrapped
around
legs
wrapped
around
arms
wrapped­
around
legs

slowly
releasing
breaking
into
man
and
woman
man
bo­rn
from
woman

the sky
is
new

up
up
up

we
can
leap
into

wings

the
air
is
born
free

release
and
catch

release
and
catch

me
into
you

you
into
me
­
slowly

a
human
egg
Mar 2019 · 95
confession
John Destalo Mar 2019
I missed you yesterday
something soft was missing

the air changed its formula

the room was not as vulnerable
the room was not as breakable

there was not the gentleness

of yellow butterflies flying
to their quiet death

there was not the gentleness

of ***** dandelions spreading
from a quiet breath

I missed you yesterday
something soft was missing

watching you curl yourself
into a medicine ball
in the chair with two arms

squeezing your inches
together tightly

looking like you either
want to swallow yourself

or are preparing to be swallowed
by something else
Mar 2019 · 281
SCREAMED
John Destalo Mar 2019
She fell into
      Captions, summarizing
    her Raw
             Emotions
           unAware
            the Mounting
                     Empty space
                was Devouring her
Mar 2019 · 100
i am like the pianist
John Destalo Mar 2019
her eyes

framed
with thick
outlines

sweat and tears
make them bleed
black

she leans
her body
forward

a *******

her arms bent
her fingers
extended

stroking
provoking
the ivories

she disappears

searching
for a key

to express
her voice

she lives
for that
moment
of silence

when everything
in her has been

expressed
Mar 2019 · 62
girl
John Destalo Mar 2019
you were
little not small

you knew more
than you
should have

you were
filled with
feelings

like me
you knew
something
was missing

death entered
early

taking from us
too much
too soon

the gaps were
too large
for us to leap

so we fell
into each other

and now
almost a
grown up

when I
think

for more than
a moment

and I feel too much
I think of you

you were the
first soft thing

I ever knew
Mar 2019 · 78
modern violins
John Destalo Mar 2019
faith screams

aching for
something
anything
absolute

bodies are
instruments
of worship

primitive
sounds pushing
into each
other

wanting not
to destroy
but to dominate
subjugate
each other

pain bleeds
pleasure
like a pig

a sacrifice

and I realize

everything is
made of word

and word burns

and I realize
when I
finally
stop feeling

I won’t
need word

to express
what I felt

but until then

I need to form
these disguises

and wear them
out
Mar 2019 · 142
worry
John Destalo Mar 2019
You've ripped me to shreds
torn me asunder
made every misstep
seem like a blunder.

I dread every part
you make me play
I want to be a circle
with no edges to fray.

I think I am dying
you tell me it's true
why do you lie
what do I owe you

You say we are one
two of a kind
this can't be so
you are only in my mind

But my mind is me
so what does it mean
To think you are you
and I am me.

The torture is real
the struggle won't end
it's not always peace
to call an enemy a friend.

Everyone else leaves
but you always stay
to wake me in the morning
and take everything else away.
Mar 2019 · 105
gentle breeze
John Destalo Mar 2019
When you forgot my name
last night,
it reminded me of the impermanence
of existing,
and the perilous ******* of words,
spoken or unspoken.

Words appear and disappear
in an instant
some remain long enough
to create bonds or barriers
but always disappear.

Three of these little words can
create waves that in one
moment caress the toes and then
collapse the lungs of the most
vulnerable places deep, deep inside
making a simple breath
painful.

I saw my name last night
hanging in the air
amongst all the previous words
of the night
and as I reached to bring it back
it was carried away by a gentle
breeze out the open window to the
darkened sky.

This gave me the freedom to
crawl back into the shadows and
observe.

I could see all the words
that night
as they hung in the air
each one
trying to remain,
jockeying for position,
but always being replaced,
some words hanging longer than others.

Then I found myself floating amongst
those words,
trying to find one I could grab onto,
to make mine.

I languished in the air
as each new word appeared,
I was bathed in the warmth of their breath,
massaged by the whirlpool
of interaction,
each word melting into the others
until they were without beginning or end
until I was without beginning or end,
nudged by a gentle breeze
toward the open window
to a darkened sky.
Mar 2019 · 99
mechanical as spring
John Destalo Mar 2019
I’m sorry.

I

can’t
can’t
can’t

get it out of my head,
the dread locks in place
and will never release me.

It has somehow become
a piece of the puzzle
and fits together perfectly;
neatly nestled into
that special place
in my brain
like a bear in his cave

waiting out the darkest days
waiting for that signal to awaken him
waiting for that spring to release
Mar 2019 · 76
Mourning: Creativity
John Destalo Mar 2019
People lost in
popularity
democracy
run amok

seeking hits
without highs

connecting line
to line
not mind to
mind

I don’t mind
if you borrow my
lines

just give me credit
in the morning.
John Destalo Mar 2019
I can move the universe,
when it wishes to remain still.
Homeostasis.
Anesthesia.
Amnesia;
the tendency to forget
or forgo,
what came before.
I can twist
the “truth”
and make it new.
Can you forgive me?
No grief,
your descendants
will.
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