I write about you

so as not to lose you, so --


as to be with you.

Follow your gaze
to a love hotel
that does not yet know love

Smell your temper
Yes, I want you, I want you
in the lap of my desire

Arrange your locks around
my love, let them sway
on waves of pleasure

Wrap your thoughts
around my finger, let them
lick my skin

Cry for the festoons
we've known, kiss
the heart on which stranded

A friend should simply

understand me, any words --


make it difficult.

Again and again

the baneling draws the borders --


he desires to cross.

Sometimes I'm nostalgic
for frost flowers and a hot water bottle
old winter fantasies

to pictures of the parvis
our house full of aunties
the garden full of apples

a basket full of nuts
always something to celebrate
then, but for now

that is much too far away
now it is empty
behind the pictures

I could take with me
Missing the barren land
the wonder of the gardens

missing the unpacked smells
of the market and the passion
missing the songs of my youth

wiped and overwritten
I lead a new life
in my emigrated hand

About everything

I saw, I cry, drowning tears --


in oblivion.

It's raining, I look,

and my friends thankfully leave --


me alone today.

We follow the ****,

the sun has sunk next to us --


and makes the grass gleam.

We talk a lot, it can be
about everything, carefully
when it becomes intimate
and we explore how far

we dare to show ourselves
how shamelessly
curious we're allowed to be
about what is hidden

in uncertainty
longing
for the confirmation
that it is good

and we are good
as we are
as we live
in each other's attention

I breathe calmly and

open myself to you, whom --


I do not know yet.

At night I enchant

you with a kiss, then we'll both --


sing for happiness.

In my finest clothes

I radiate happiness --


because she loves me.

Who does not know
that a rose is happiness
and seeing a rose is happiness

that passes?
You are the blushing happiness
that I watch

For whomever you
open your petals
it is also for me

Happiness wells up in me
I myself unfold
through you

We kiss at the sea,

all our worries blow away --


It is spacious here!

You don't take a stand,

because it's complicated --


you say with a sigh.

Not at home. Not there,

nor here. At night I shout it --


over the rooftops.

Still after all the years
the mystery
that I love most, you

and your image of me
that you mirror to me
the image to my thoughts

and my promise
to you, my more and less
beautiful for you

in your eyes
that desire me
and call me

An attentive kiss

makes you feel all energy --


deep within yourself.

The party goes on

above me, I'm having fun --


with Nino, the cat.

Scents, traces: the ant

has mapped the big white bathtub --


its infinity.

The cypresses stand tall
against the pale evening blue
far from here, heat is pressing
on the city where you live

thinking of all kind of things
maybe thinking of me
maybe of yourself
being reflected by me
      
Just because, precisely because
you don't know, you can't
know, I know
that you know, that
I see and know
      
who you are, shining
what I don't tell anyone
what I feel
and cry out in myself
You are, you shine, you!

Who knows where you are,

I do not need to know, I --


love you anyway.

Now that he wants to

make it up, I understand:


he does what he can.

What about the card

from my loved one: rain today,


sunny yesterday?

Resting without loss of time
jumping around, eating
experiences, 'Always Sunday'

Tasting together, and digesting
by the light of the moon, even
if it does not interest you

The days are too short
in winter it is cold
in summer it's still light
when I have to go

to sleep (yet, regardless
of the consequences
we make exceptions)
'Always Sunday'

I plan my work well,

you're welcome, I embrace you --


with arms wide open.

You have to look back

now and then to catch a glimpse --


of where you're going.

Helping someone move

is a great adventure with --


a safe homecoming.

Mama is bad
she doesn't look
at my painting
she hides her eye

behind the camera
and in her mind she makes
her own painting
of me

another Helena of me
with blood on her hands
an angry ******
with a cool belly

for hot men
a Confident-Blue
belly despite the voyeurs
at mummy's exhibition

who think they see me
while they fantasise
about a 'fille fatale'
pleasing them

I love mama, here,

in this old photo before --


she became mama.

When you go boating,

you are part of the city-


scape that others see.

We do fitness on

the canal: we pedal hard --


to see the quaysides.

Being on everybody's tongue, being
furtively watched by the prettiest girls
is the advantage of boys
who work their way up laughing

at the expense of the concern
of their former friends
who do not understand
the betrayal and withdraw

in a hurt longing
for the former intimacy
(Some guys exaggerate
  their toughness, they overshoot

  the mark, so
  that everyone suffers
  a loss, no
  a person can't be worse)

Being your allies

friends notice: we are needed --


as adversaries.

Look at her, she loves

him, a wonderful feeling --


to hold forever.

I can see, you would

like to take off my net shirt --


but you don't do it.

No more bicycles:
with the tram
No more trams:
on roller skates
until they break
On clogs
until raids close everything

No more electricity
No more candles
No more stolen oil
No more charcoal
No more trees
No more books
only the clothes on one's back

No more bread:
grinding wheat
in the coffee grinder
No more wheat:
cooking rye grains
No more rye:
begging tours

No more winter coats:
worn coats made of blankets
curtains on the beds
A cold house, hunger
and fear, and time
that stands still
at hope

I lowered myself

into the round pit, covered --


with flowering thyme.

Until it gets dark,

grandma's sitting-room is ours --


the armchair our bed.

You're missing something,

so we wait, impatiently --


you break off your search.

On your birthday you

pretend that everyone is --


doing the right thing.

Love is never a wall
covered inside
with cushions and a view
of barbed wire

Love is never a wall
around concealed wishes
a weak spot, a secret
shame or a holy duty

Love is climbing over walls
without solutions
never dislodged drunk
with faith, hope, or dreams

Love is not suspicious
desperate or unimaginative
and other symptoms
of death

You are beautiful,

like all the other people --


I get to know well.

I promise you
not to build mountains of gold
on weak ground, I promise you
no lifelong love
out of blind lust

I promise you
no great deeds
but sincere ones
to do what I can
to be who I am

that is: your
wisdom when you're angry
defence wall around your fear
hand under your head
nest for your sorrow

I am your
understanding answer
mountain with a view
double joy
and other side

I am your
well-doing bath
together at the table
bed to sleep in
love to your toes

My love smiles at me,

he is good to me, he doesn't --


need to be better.

There are multitudes

of faces, everyone has --


many more than one.

A man falls over,

luckily I can't see more --


There are bystanders.

If I only have love
when I meet you
I have everything

to exist
to say
and be safe

If I am love
I can bear death
and the pain, my tears

flow around
the world and together
we can be happy

The little plant bends

with the sun and the wind, blooms --


as much as it can.

Kissing I slide down

over his tongue into his --


soul, and feel his fear.