I sit in silence.

where do i begin.

to explain the sadness hidden within.

I'm telling you my hearts filled with sorrow from the past I could not control, as a child not understanding the world.

so I've learned to cope and Ive hid the pain.

but never with my head bowed in shame.

you see i wear a smile that seems to embrace this world.

all the while your never knowing whats behind the eyes of a saddened soul.

am I being punished for sins that where not my own or is it time to man up and accept that now I am grown.

it's now up to me to deal with these demons and fight through the struggle and conquer these feelings.

Ive always risen above this pain.

but regrettably not in the most helpful way.

you see I turned to drugs to mask all the sorrow just to get me by to see tomorrow.

only to look around and find my self kneeling.

crying out to the world and asking it why.

why have you punished me?

is this all just a test?

im giving it my all and I'm trying my best.

this soul cant be broken youve already tried.

I'll never be ashamed of these choices Inside.

the funny thing is I would not have it any other way for all these moments have shaped me into the man that I am today.

so I sit in silence an internal war always waging.

the simple fact that all this rage inside is hidden behind a smile but it is taken in stride.

A testament to my will.

Just waiting for fate to change.

with new hope at the beginning of everyday.

to find the peace within myself.

but never forgetting the path from the dark was always worth winning..

I sit in silence.

This Never ending pain.

Where the dark clouds follow.

A never ending rain.

With every thunderous boom.

Its Causing me to shake.

A shivering sadness

From the water on my face.

My voice starts to quiver.

I simply cant keep up with the pace.

You see these thoughts are just racing.

They howl like the wind

Just twirling around

With no way to win

As these tears flow freely.

Staring out into the storm.

Striking deep in my perception

Of how I see the world.

With every bright flash

A different perspective percieved.

The thoughts they are now slowing

And so is the breeze

The thunder it weakens

Just a low grumble now

The soothing smell of the water

I put my knees on the ground

My mind starts to ease

A gentle wind at my back

I put a mask on my face

So that I can head back

To a world that seems broken

Until once again

The storm is awakend

But I know how it ends.

I don't flow for you to listen to my words.

I flow in the simple hopes my words reach your soul.

You see no one understands the words as they're spit

They simply bob their heads and nod to the beat

A perfect representation I choose to bestow

About how us humans ignore our souls

It could be filled with sorrow and pain

Or I could simply flow about the sound of the rain

But if I asked you what I meant

You would probably lack my words intent.

So the next time that someone speaks

Find out what it is their soul is trying to teach

Do you understand how I feel when these words take ahold of me.

So strange how it goes with the melody.

  It's almost melancholic how tragic this magic grabs ahold of me.  

It's like something takes ahold of me.

Like these words arnt my own.

Like their given.

From somthin greater.  

Not a moment that's mistaken.

  Just a world filled with infinite impossibilitys.  

The spirit of my ancestors flowing through the possibilitys.  

Guiding the wisdom of my path through the sorrows that have plagued my family's past.  

Sometimes I feel that theres a spirit watching over me.

Its only after the drugs fade that the worries of tomorrow, coupled with regrets from the past, come back to haunt you.  

In order to enjoy your life, you dont need drugs...you dont need alcohol...you only need to embrace the space around you.  Look around, take it all in, and enjoy it.

Accept the things you cannot change and accept that we dont know what tomorrow may bring.  

Just enjoy the moment, embrace it, Love it and set your soul free!

It's sad because my family and friends just don't understand

The every day battles that I face.

You see these minor inconveniences that drive you crazy mean nothing to me

A constant battle in my head.

but its the worse type of pain because I argue with my self and it drives me insane

A paranoid delusion I have to push the side to appear normal in this thing callef life.

The only time I'm able to truly speak is when I rhyme.

Im too embarrassed and distressed to say it normally otherwise.

The problem is.

twhen I speak it out rhythmically it comes out to Clean.

So people just can't understand my grief

It's like a thief that comes out and steals my soul

But all the while I wear a smile on my face that hides a broken soul.

Just begging and pleading that someone catches it.

But it's like the words are irrelevant

They just bop their head and nod to my melody

Bobing their heads to a melancholic tragedy

So silly of me of me to think people could grasp all these emotions and pains through a minute of rap

I'm a modern day samurai.

But when I draw my modern sword

it's my words.

they cut so deep

A simple method of destruction that destroys the souls construction.

A perfect percussion of syllables that goes with the turn tables

It enables me to win the battle

I deconstruct your mind

and I know I'm good and able

I just lay it all out on the table

For all to see

If I fall I do it with the grace of the samurai

So now I practically override every sense

Panic sets in.  

Irrationally attack my character

But the literacy is to deep

You sheep

Your mine now

Now your will is mine to do as I will

I savor this moment
The flavor so good

No more favors Givin

Your mine to control

I've broken you free from this world

And now I abandon you to find your role