Insecurity
Is when you give someone a compliment
And you need to hear them say
You too
Confidence
Is when you give someone a compliment
And anticipate their response to only be
Thank you

I hope I fall for you
With the feeling I get
When I’m on that carnival ride
                                                s
          ­                               e
                                   s
                              i
The one that  r        slowly
And  f       quickly
            a
               l
                 l
                   s
The thrill that accompanies the anticipation
The thundering heartbeat
The sweaty palms
The lightweight feeling
And electricity in my fingers and toes
The euphoric high that lingers after
The rush
The fall

I find myself asking if it’s
The the number of views
The the number of likes
Whether or not it’s trending
If it’s constantly a work in progress
Or an idea that has yet come to light
If it’s a simple sentence
Or fills pages in my notebook
If it’s about
Love
Or Pain
If I’ve written my best one already
Or if it’s still on it’s way
Due to something that’ll happen in my life
That I’m currently unaware of
If it’s publsihed on Hello Poetry
Or lies between the wrinkled pages
Of notebooks left in my closet at home

Everyone forgets their fears
When they’re distracted
For fear
Is a matter of perception

One night
Two strangers
Full of intimate and raw conversations
No rules
No limitations
But
The catch
We will never meet again
No exchange of contact information
Which only adds to the allure of the night
Just a boy and a girl
Who have never met prior
Free to express
Any and every
Emotion
Fear
Wish
Hope
Free to say exactly what’s on their mind
Without a societal filter
Free to express and play with the art of lying
Painting an illusion of yourself
To another stranger
Who wouldn’t know any better
Be who you truly are
Or
Be who you really wish you were
For a few hours
What do you have to lose

Just once
I want the hot guy
To notice me
To boldly pursue me
So sue me
For wanting to revel
In vanity
For a brief eternity

Have you ever stared at someone
Mesmerized by their simple beauty
Take in their breathtaking smile
And hope that one day
You can be the reason
For all of them

Have you ever looked at someone
And thought to yourself
I wish you were mine
All while trying to suppress
A shy smile
And hope
Pray even
That your eyes
In return
Aren’t revealing the depth and complexity
Of your infatuation

You see
This thing
Between you and me
Is paradoxical
Because we feel free
Inside these cages
We’ve confined ourselves in
but
Are we truly free
Or is it just an illusion of liberty

I want to be with someone
Who makes me feel
Beautiful
Because anyone can make you feel
Cute
Pretty
Attractive
Gorgeous
Hot
****
Bangin’
(You get the point)
But not everyone can make you feel
Beautiful
It’s something that’s so
Simple
And yet complex
It’s something that’s so
Pure
Raw
Untainted by carnality
It’s so
...
Beautiful

~
1. Carry a humble confidence
With you
Everywhere you go
~
2. Be spontaneous
Because the best memories (typically)
Are never preplanned
~
3. Realize that you are
Beautiful
Intelligent
Warm-hearted
But never
Allow any one of those traits
Define you
~
4. Learn to love yourself
Before deciding to fall in love
With another
~
5. Never compare yourself
To something or someone
That you were never meant to be
Compare yourself to who you were
And will be
~
6. Never crave validation
Of your worth
Through the meaningless words
Of people who don't truly understand
Or know you
~
7. Most importantly
Live.
In.
The.
Moment.
Because life's too precious
To have your focus be in anyplace
But where you currently are
~
9. Embrace all emotions
With spiritual discernment
There is no such thing
As a good or bad emotion
There are
Positive and negative emotions
And both are meant to be felt
~
10. There is a reason you feel an emotion
It is your body
Trying to tell you something
Listen
There’s a reason you’re feeling that emotion
Pay attention to your body
~
11. Never marry someone
Unless you’ve seen them
When they’re
Sick
Stressed out
And angry
It is when we are in dire situations
When our true character is tested
~
12. Others do onto you
As they wish others do onto them
~
13. People crave to be reflected
And validated in their emotions
Just as a baby and their caregiver
regardless of their age
~
14. Two words
Mimetic Theory
By Rene Girard
Go look it up
~
15. Go and flirt with that person
You think is cute
Life is too short to over analyze everything
~
16. Play the naïve narrative
It’ll work in your favor
sometimes
~
17. Recognize pretty privilege
It’s a real thing
Be cautious and careful with it
~
18. Have grace towards others
They are just projecting their trauma
It’s nothing personal to you
They’re dealing in the ways they learned
At an early age
~
19. You have the power
To break the cycles in your life
NUEROPLASTICITY
~
20. You will change
Find sometime whose own growth
Compliments yours
~
21. Depressive days
Are healing days too
Sometimes you need to take a break
From always thinking and reflecting
~
22. When you get emotional
You enter into your limbic brain
And rational thought is hindered
Because you are no longer in your
Prefrontal cortex
~
23. Any deviation from the norm
Or extremes
Calls for a red flag
It doesn’t necessarily mean that there is
Something wrong
But that there’s something
Worth taking notice
~
24. Your vulnerability is a gift
Not everyone deserves to
Receive it
~
25. Parenting is the process
Of equipping an individual
To become autonomous
And guiding them
To discover their personal identity
While you sit back and admire their discovery
In every high and low
Which means
Your children
May not have similar beliefs or tastes as you
And that is okay
~
26. You are not responsible
To be someone’s
Savior
Therapist
Drug
Crutch
Lover
~
27. your features
don't go in and out of style
~
28. five years form today (5-24-20)
you will be the same person that you are today
except for the books you read and the people you meet
~
29. sometimes people are beautiful
not in looks
nit in what they say
just in the way they are
~
30. a person in two months
can make you feel
what a person in two years couldn't
time means nothing
character does
~
31. if you're feeling down tonight
think five years ahead
think of all the good music you'll hear
between now and then
all the places you'll visit
all the food you'll eat
maybe you'll have even met the love of your life
i know life can get hard
but better things await
seek hope
~
32. i wonder how many people meet the person
they once were
and feel like they're staring at a stranger
~
33. find someone who will treat you this way
"we're all the same, we're all ****."
"this guy in front of me isn't ****,
and i'll still be here when you finally believe it too."
~
34. there are moments you remember
and
people you will never ******* forget
~
35. no onw knows us
not the human fragile parts of us
i dont think they'll ever stop
unless they see
~
36. there will be times
where you cannot change
you cannot change your parents
you cannot change your friends
there will be times
where others will refuse to accept your change
respect yourself and them
let go
maybe the version you want the to be
isn't the one they ever wanted
don't go backwards
your change happened for a reason
~
37. make your heart
the prettiest thing about you
~
38. be aware of your
emotions
thoughts
stereotypes you have of others
stereotypes others have of you
don't feel shame or embarrassment
instead
view them without judgement
but
do be aware of them and work with them
~
39. learn to be intentional
with everything that you do
~
40. seek to see the other perspective
in every moment in life
you are given the opportunity
to see life from another perspective
which breeds compassion
~
41. the worst kind of loneliness
is to not be comfortable with yourself
~
42. "I like people
who have a sense of individuality
I love expression
and anything awkward and imperfect
because that’s natural
and that’s real" - Marc Jacobs
~
43.“I like how sleeping next to someone
means more than ***
sometimes
its's the body’s way of saying
‘I trust you to be by my side at my most vulnerable time’
you have no defenses when you are asleep
you tell no lies”
~
44. do you ever get weirded out
by the fact that everyone around you
is constantly within their own mind
and thinking a million secret thoughts
and battling internal struggles
just like you
and that you’re not the only one who thinks these things
and that the people around you
aren’t just faces meant to fill up your life
but they’re actually really deep people
who have a lot more to them
than you ever actually even think about
~
45. take a deep breath
take a shower
clean your room
watch a movie
take some time for yourself
~
46. my ultimate life hack
i never wear makeup
except for occasions where i want to feel overly hot/professional
this way
people who see me everyday won’t be shocked
when i don’t wear makeup
they will instead be shocked
at how much hotter i can become
how much potential i don’t unlock
for no reason other than laziness
~
47. sometimes
the person you want most
is the person you're best without
~
48. i am mine
before i am anyone else's
~
49. my father told me once
to never date anyone
who talks smoothly around you from the start
because if someone likes you
they should be a little nervous
~
50.
~
51.
~
52.
~
53.
~
54.

Feather light trails
Of fingertips along flushed skin
Erratic breathing
Chests rising and meeting together
With every inhale
Hands fleeting
Stumbling along the way
Grins cheeky
Lips bruised and swollen
Mouths full of promised moans to come
Bodies entangled
Sheets twisted
Spirits intertwined

Tell me all your insecurities
So I can tell you
Why they aren’t

Her afterthoughts curled themselves
Around her hollow heart
Which erratically  thumped offbeat
In her chest
Like poisonous weeds
Disguised as blooming flowers

It’s funny
Because as I stand here alone
With my eyes gently closed
Below the branches of large willows
That live in this hidden park
Having the warm sun
Soak into my skin and
The distant melody of birds chirping
Be the only source of sound around me
I can’t help but feel
As though it’s too loud
Because my thoughts
They scream
Demanding to be heard and felt
Even when I don’t want to
Give them the authority to
Which is so different to the
Peace
Tranquility
And quietness
That this place emits before me
Physically
In comparison to what’s happening
Inside me internally
Emotionally

It saddens me
Knowing that this
Between us
Will never work
Because you look at me
Desperately searching for someone else
You look at me
In hopes to catch glimpses of them
It saddens me
Because we never truly had a shot
When all I wanted
Was that
A fighting shot

You say you love me
But not in that way
As a friend
You say
But I can’t harbor these festering feelings
Within me any longer

If I was aesthetically prettier
Would you say you love me
In that way
If you were attracted to my looks
The way you say you are to my personality
Would you then
Pursue me

"I'm scared"
She mumbled into his shoulder
As he held her tightly to his chest
"Of what"
He whispererd as he tilted her face
To meet his
"Of the way you look at me"
"And how's that"
"Like you love me
With an intensity I've never seen before"

Carry a humble confidence
With you
Everywhere you go

2. Be spontaneous
Because the best memories (typically)
Are never preplanned

3. Realize that you are
Beautiful
Intelligent
Warm-hearted
But never
Allow any one of those traits
Define you

4. Learn to love yourself
Before deciding to fall in love
With another

5. Never compare yourself
To something or someone
That you were never meant to be
Compare yourself to who you were
And will be

6. Never crave validation
Of your worth
Through the meaningless words
Of people who don't truly understand
Or know you

7. Most importantly
Live.
In.
The.
Moment.
Because life's too precious
To have your focus be in anyplace
But where you currently are

You are the rose
Without the thorns

Fear
Is the result of
Ignorance

There is
No
One
On this entire planet
That is
Exactly
Like you
Your looks
Your preferences
Your character
All combined
Makes you
Uniquely
You

I want to smear red lipstick
On my lips
Strip you of all your clothes
Piece by piece
Kiss your body
From head to toe
Only to pull away from you
And admire my artwork
Literally
And
Figuratively

The world's idea of perfection
Is unattainable
Which is why people are never satisfied
But
Isn't that what those of power want
People to never be satisfied
With themselves
So they try to mold themselves
Into something that no one can be

They attempt to be
"Perfect"
Grow muscles
Inject implants
Manipulate their flesh
Until it's just right

Yet
They will never achieve something
That's perfect
They will never be satisfied
Even though they strive to be
Because it's all
Unrealistic
Unattainable

Find
                   What
                                           Makes
                                You
                  Feel
                                                          Alive

Tell me
How do you explain
Colors
To someone
Who is blind

Breath
Relax
It's okay to let loose
Truly live
Allow the responsibilities of life
Blur into the background
And live in the present
Freely
Wildly
Passionately

Be with someone
Who makes you question
Whether you've ever been in love
Before

I look forward to holding you
I look forward to playing with your hair
I look forward to kissing your neck
Whenever the urge strikes me to
I look forward to
...
Oh wait
I think I just met you

1.
Passionately kiss a beautiful stranger
2.
Dance with someone special in the rain
With the headlights of a car
Be the only source of light
And the music from the stereo
Persuade our unsynchronized movements
3.
Try an extremely overpriced fruity cocktail
In a luxurious bar
4.
Sit down at an occupied table
That has a random person
Introduce myself and
Play a speed round of 20 questions
Exploring the idea
Of creating a false reality to someone
Who would accept it
Because they expect nothing less

As humans
We are constantly changing

Those friends from high school
You said bye to on graduation day
The next time you see them
You'll be slightly or drastically different
They'll be too
Because our experiences shape us
Into who we are

Furthermore
When we
Fall in love
With someone
We fall in love with the person
That they currently are
And as time passes
I do believe that we fall in love
With that same person
Over
And
Over
Again
Because they aren't the same person
You aren't the same person
That you were
When you first fell in love
With each other

You deserve to have someone
Revere you

You deserve to have someone
Whose heart thumps a little faster
When they see you

You deserve to have someone
Whose idea of perfection
Sits before their eyes
And has your name

You deserve to have someone
Who gets nervous
When they're trying to think of a response
That will woo you

You deserve
To be boldly pursued

You deserve
To be loved

You
Deserve
Love

Continuous perfection
Leads to overlooked accomplishments
A renewed definition of ordinary
Takes root
Soon
Perfection
Loses its value
People's compliments
Lose their presence

I want the kind of love where
Even when I'm upset
Even when I'm angry
At you
And I deserve the right to be
I can look you in the eyes
With tears streaming down my face
And still be able to whisper
I love you

Some say that their lovers
Have left their imprint
All over their heart
But you
You left the biggest of imprints
The only difference
It's invisible
And sometimes
I rejoice
Foolishly believeing  
That your mark has left
But it's only temporary alievement
Before reality sets in
And I realize it's still there

I find it quite interesting
How the entire world magnifies
Right before our eyes
When we are on the brink
The brink of crying
When the unshed tears
Have gathered and collected
At the bottom of our eyes

They struggle to fall
Yet for a brief moment in time
We see things closer
We see things blurrier
Than we have ever before
Right as they sit on the edge
Before they take the tumble
Before they take the fall

Tell me
How can I make you
See yourself
Through my eyes
And not yours

You.
Are.
A.
Walking.
Masterpiece.

Chronic neglection
Leads to apathetic acceptance
Of mediocrity
In all forms