I was a

lost boy

toy soldier

from her

life.



lying still

after the

final conflict,



bleeding regret,

ready to let

the earth

soak me

down.



a fool's

look painted

on my face,



crimson cheeks

wallaby eyes.

a heartless

shell of

circumstance.



barely taking

last breaths

between

love's nowhere

shadows.

.

glory lost.



bound

only to

where

bad lovers

go to die.



to where

lover's skeletons

have been

picked clean

to the

bone.



and lies

and deceit

have rotten

their eyes.

Deep kisses.

and opened
wounds
to lick
and heal.

ghosts
of lesser
things.

lost and
found
in the
night.

cold bedroom
blankets.

no lover's
toes
to tangle
with and
dance,

no imagination
left to
paint the
watercolor
dreams
of your
youth.

and fear
shows
it's pinioned
yellow
teeth.

and it's
loneliness
bursts
through
you with
all its
might.

and love
is now
a fallen
fruit
rotting
from
the vine

for the

blackbirds

to pick at

and carry on.

and your
whispers
are pledges
of hope

etched in

blood
to the
night..

and I
pray
that God
will
hear you.

and that

the time
is coming
soon.

as the sun

watches you

on this hill

as you
sit.

looking for
faith at
2 o" clock
in the
afternoon.

both eyes
opened
wide.

Again you
have painted
my morning
with the beauty
of your eyes,

and am
rich beyond
life's words.

My thoughts
fall to you,
like leaves
from a
old stick
tree in
the wind.

my heart
buried
beneath your
feet ,

to willingly
lie and
whisper to
these hills.

and my
voice can
only be
heard by
you.

and in
the wonder
of this universe,

it is
just so.

The yellow

flowers in

your picture,



they are

there for

you not

you for

them,



I can

feel it

it is how

you move the

universe

and all

of it's pieces

around you.



you are

a rare

one of

a kind

phenomena



a first kiss,

a baby's

first cry

from a

mothers womb.



you give

the yellow

meadow

it's depth

and substance,



it's true

beauty inside

your eyes,



jelly bean yellow

full of heart.



and the

sky embraces

your hair

with the

radiance

of a new

born sun,



giving life

to all

who see

it. creating

a center

to the

universe for

all to be.



and I

have come

to bathe

in your shimmer

and submerge

in your

heart and

dance in

your mercy.



if only

for a

moment that

I will never

forget.



as I

look at

the sky and

listen and

dream about

the wonderment

of life

of love

and you...

in the
morning when
your room
is filling
with light,

your raven
hair
tangled upon
your pillow,

surely a
angel must
of fallen
to earth.

and is
now lying
behind
your eyes,

as you
rise from
slumber
from
in your
canopy
bed.

and in
the evening
when the
sun retires
falling on
the horizon's
line,

I wish
I was
everything
in your
day that
was in between.

your morning
your night.

to hear
the joy
of your
laughter,

the sighs
of whispers
that you
say in
solitude to
yourself.

to share
the truth
of consequences,

in the
journey of
your life.

to be
the bending
of souls
in each other's
eyes.

to applaud
your life
in it's
miracles,

of mother
daughter
and wife

tonight.

You would always

sit in your

baby carrier

with an odd

little tilt

of your

head,



and I would sit

across from you

and tilt my head

in return,



and even

though you

were a baby

you would

laugh and I

swear you

would get

our little

inside joke.



and as you

grew the

neck tilt

would stop

but I would

look for it

over and over

again,



but as you

grew older,

your sense of

humor grew

and it wouldn't

be long

until you were

the center of

everyone's

attention.



and your

laughter would

pour over us

and your words

would be

funny and kind,,



and I knew

you had the gift

of laughter

from my father,



and though

he passed

many years before

you were

born,



i can still

hear him

in your voice

in your laughter

I see him

in your eyes

at night.



they light up

a room they

light me and

your mother's

heart,



to know

that the

memory of

your little head



would be

forever tilted

in our

hearts to

hold.

Once again,

in my
hands just
out
of grasp,

my heart

tangled in
the dry
weeds of
deceit just
below my
feet.

I stumble
bleeding
from  this
experience
of loving
you.

but you
will never
tend my
wounds

to heal.

or give false
witness to
my scars

to rectify.

should of
worn blinders
to shield
me,

from false
hopes,

or falling
into the pit
of being
alone
again,

without
promise
insight.

this cantaloupe
moon sighs
over me.

and once
again
I still think
of you

and what
was lost

that should
of been

found.

Yet again

lost pieces
of her
fairytale
forever,

are now
torn,

thrown
carelessly

like barren
dead seeds

across
the shedding
floor.

love letters
from far
off places.

that won't
be writing
back.

lies shared
in midnight
passion,

between
hot bodies
forged in

a lover's
fire.

now lie

expired.

her existence

with him defined
by love
bought with

grocery
greenback
trading
stamps,

in a

hick
Indiana
general
store in

the middle

of her town.

but what
is bought
in a cheap  
moment,

will not
last the
next.

love bartered.
her soul

pulled
from the
root.

cut and
dry.

to wither
and die.

but the
crows
smile,

their
bellies
full.



Cinderella

will never

be heard

from again.

I run
home
like
an old
Wimbley
pegged
toy
to be
with you,

and at
the end
of any
day,

a nibble
of your
neck.

a deep
swim
in your.

fortune
teller
eyes.

and
everyday

I dance
and renew
my spirit
in your
peek a boo
smile,

and everybody
knows.

I can't
deny
it.

how much
I love
you.

you are
all the
water
colors
of my
dreams.

and with
every
beating
of my
heart.

my love
flows
within

you.

giving
life
giving
meaning.

to every
moment
that
I live

and breathe

I breathe

you...

fate falls
from your
eyes,

like a
hurricane.

everything
it touches
is never
the same
again.

and forever
in a
moment
it will
bleed
you.

in salvation.

and the
savior
of all
to come
will lie
deep in
your eyes.

and as
I watch
you breathing.

I totally
forget.

that I am
breathing
too.

it is
instead
the realization
that I
need you
first
to survive.

if ever
my feet
should
ever again
touch
the ground.

.

Into

our eyes

the abyss

of true

lovers,


the still

breathing

of quiet

hearts,


that offer

to one

another

true

sacrifice.


it is a

shadow

dream

poem.


an ultimate

letting

go of

tormented

moments

of our

past,


the giving

of everything

to a

idea that

needs

no explanation.


not to

each other.


we are

the cycles

of suns

and moons.

the birth and
death of
hearts,


the undoing

of all

that was

done before.


and my

soul goes

out to you

with each

moments

passing.


that you

will have

it close

to you,


and be

one with

it for all

the moments

of time.


and in that


my journey

will always find


true purpose

and fire.

to be
with you,

means
the light
of my
eyes
will never
leave,

for to be
without you,

surely
my eyes
would grow
old
dim,

and to love
you as
I do ,

down and
through
the marrow
of my
bones,

brings me
a completeness
I have
never
known.

it is the
order
of stars
and sky
that blanket
this night
that I
hold you,

it is
the certainty
of husband
and wife
that I
love  you.

the whispers
of my
soul
tells
me it
is so,

that in
this time
under
this open
sky

our
destinys
collide
to become
only one.

and God
smiles
upon us

as only
he can.

when all
is well
and done,

and we
make
our final
journey
to him

together
unafraid,

loves
children
in his

eyes..

we were
puzzle pieces
that never
quite fit .

even now
many years
later and
a few
ruff edges
torn and
broken off,


edges
that still
reach out
and cut
and bleed
our heart,

fresh flesh
for the taking.

but still
at night I
dance clumsily
in my head
with you,

rarely making
eye contact,

breaking
emotional toes
and feelings
like they were
just peanuts
on a cheap
back water
bar floor.

and this is
all now
that is
left of us.

the puzzle
dance,

a beginning
that will
never end.

your foot
prints
on the sand
run deep,

like the
fall of
new shed
snow upon
a white
dipped
field.

and I
will follow
you there
too,

and praise
to all
that is
you and
ancestors
sleeping,

and remind
myself
that I
am not
dreaming.

the silhouette
of your
body
stands before
the sun,

and my
eyes
gratefully
retrace it
over and
over again.

like rain
flowing
down
to root
on
a mountain
hill side
spruce.

it is
improbable
to grow
without
you.

and so
we begin
our life
circle.

to one
another,

like migrant
birds
knowing
when to
take flight.

just as
we have
for a
thousand
years
before.

our spirits
will sing
and take
union
into the

night.

and we
will never
leave
each other's
side again...

Living in

her shadow

over forty

years have

gone by.


But I still

remember

her **** rule

as if It

were yesterday.


Mrs. Satterfield.

my fourth grade

teacher

at Lincoln

elementary

in Lynwood California.

.
and every

now and

then when

I think about

her. I feel

a need

to straighten up

my posture,

turn in

all of my homework

on top

her cracked

and peeling old

wooden desk.


spit out

my gum.

and look

to the

nearest

clock,


and count the

minutes until

lunch or

when I

get my release

to go home.


"no

gum chewing

allowed!" I'm

certain

it is on

her head stone

somewhere.


but I am still

much too

afraid to

go on

a little

escapade  

to look.


so I sit

still.

very still.

waiting for the

bells of

independence.

from Mrs. Satterfield"s

fourth grade

class to ring

in my head.


sometimes it is

almost like

I never

left.


sometimes

I can see

her looking at

me from across

the room.


and sometimes

forty years

later, bless

her soul


she smiles.

Our prayers
answered
in your
heavenly
bed.

quenched
thirst

from a
midnight
passioned
kiss.

my hand
resting
on the
small
of your
angel
back.

time
keeper
moments,

that
define
us.

moments
­that we
navigate
upon,

like
stars
of the
constellations
above
our head.

no boundaries
there
in your
siren
smile.

only
contentment
as you
rise
your
eyes
to mine.

in the
mist
of fallen
dreams,

amongst
the rumble
of broken
hopes.

you will
always
find
a moment
to tenderness

here.

waiting
for you

in my
eyes.

under a
half sun
baked
california
afternoon,

papers
piling up
against
my front
door,

and then

you dance
into my
fairy tale
paper cutter
life,

in and
out
of view,

cinderella
shoe less
in the
most
uncertain
of times,

come lay
your
head on
my shoulder
and recover
each other's
souls in
our eyes,

and then
we will
throw
rocks
at the
moon,

and then
let it's
million
pieces
of cheese
fall at
our feet.

even in
this day.

enough
of the
night.

we can
stay here
forever,

or for
about
a week.

I would
watch
you sleep
deep
in tall
cinnamon
grass,

on a
hill till
the moon
falls under
your spell

as I have.

in this
mystical
place of
no time
or reason.

just
pockets
of dreams
through
out my
day.

and today
we hugged.

and did
you notice
we were
a perfect
circumstance.

like stars
to sky,

we were
tangents
to each other's
hearts,

waves
to sea.

and for
a moment
today

everything
was

us.

no surprizes
in this
tequila
water
colored
morning,

when the
sun reaches
your eyes,

you are
even more
beautiful
than I
remember
from the
night.

excuse me
if I
trip over
the moment
for awhile,

and just
enjoy you
lying
still.

like a
angel
sleeping

wings
held
closed.

my destiny
in your

eyes.

(2/4/13)

my thoughts
of you
cover me
like a
deep dream
that I
never
want
to leave

or awake
from.

the lingering
memory
of the
taste
of your
lips on
mine,

is like
the first
drops
of rain
upon
a meadow,

and my
thirst
for you
is great.

and my
calling
to your
soul
is true.

and with
each
day's
end

I pray
for one
more
moment
with you.

where the
sun is
brighter
the yearning
for love
is greater,

and the
ache
of my
body
against
yours

is felt
with every
breath that
I take,

and to
know this

this one
moment
with you

is everything.....

You will see
her move
in and out,

like a cat through
the back alleys
of her life,

never staying
to long in
one place,

barely long
enough to
catch your
first name
and rarely
ever your
last.

and her
kisses will
lose there
conviction
after one
kiss maybe
two.

but her
claws in
your back
will run
deep,

and the
sighs in
her thighs
will hold
tight,

and then
in the morning
she is gone,

like she was
almost ashamed
of it all.

she says she
is looking
for true
love,

fat chance of
that.

stupid cat...

nothing to
say,

to the reflection
of your
picture
in my
shattered
hearts window.

thoughts and
feelings all
out of
bounds.

prayers
flying broken
circles
around  the
memory of
your angel
eyes.

and my
soul is
blind without
you here.

like sun
melting snow,

you were only
here for
far
too short
\
a time.

where do
your quiet
thoughts
go?

and how
can I
meet
them
there.

and curl
around
them and
dream
through
the night.

as old
friends,

that hide
nothing
and give

everything.

and turn
to one
another
for truth
and innocence.

and lean
against
each other
with trust
and promise.

where do
your wild
thoughts
go?

and if
we could
meet

would you
sing and
dance

with me

a awhile.

rogue
smiles,

tender
lollypop

kisses
shared,

tell
our full
measure.

fingers
entwined
as we
sleep.

I reach
to pull
you close.

the moonlight
caresses

our entangled
silhouettes,


and again
like a
miracle,


it is
true,

I witness
it.

this
diamond
studded
sky has
lost
it's

universal
presence.


for it
pales in
comparison

to the
moments

you lie
over me.

and all I
see
is the

canopy
of you.

In a
moment
in your
eyes
you
stole my
breath
away,

and for
that moment
I was
a kite
untethered
in your
******
wind.

and all
my trust
was in
you ,

and all
that I had
ever known
before fell
to my
feet like
rain drops
from the
sky.

and my
heart
was for
the taking,

and my
soul was
for the
asking.

and the
spaces
around
your eyes
were pearl
white
and the color
of your
tongue
was a
cherry red.

and in the
eternity
of this
moment.

I was
blind
but i
could see

only you.

clearer
than I
ever had
before.

day or
night
dreams
come true
in your
eyes,

curious
corner
turns of
your smile
make it
so.

sitting
still in
the
universe
moves
as you
move

unchangeable
in it's
nature
and commitment
to your
touch.

you move
as one.

and I
have come
to witness,

to raise
up and
gaze upon
your stars
for a time,

and the
miracle
that is
in everything
that you
are.

nothing
ever to
be taken
for granted,

or thought
of lightly.

only prayed
for

with conviction.

A day where

nothing fits.

lying in

my room

sifting through

gypsy thoughts

of running away

to perform in a

circus

with you.



getting a little

annoyed with

my pillow and the

fat cat sleeping

in the middle

of it.



listening

for your voice,

but I can't

hear it.


and just over

the skyscraper hill,

I travel

I wonder that

maybe today

I will arrive.


anywhere

that is away

from here.



I would love

to  topple the

highest building

In this concrete city

to the ground.

and plant flowers

and gardens on it's

concrete floors

and knock out

its cold concrete

windows with

a stone,


caught between

the greys

and blues

of downtown

Los Angeles,


wondering how

anyone ever

escapes from

this place

alive.

You sit
by the
seaside
waters
edge,

and the blue
sky of

London
embraces
you,

and the
afternoon
sun
light
dances
through your
tangled
angel hair,

and the
ocean tide
strains to
touch you.

and the
salt air
intoxicates
you,

and for
a moment
you are
as free as
the seagulls
that hover
like salt and
pepper
pilgrims
above you
on the
breeze.

and you
sit and
wonder in
this moment
and what
your life
has become,

and you
smile
and God
smiles
with you.

and I
smile
for you,

and reach
to catch
your eyes,

to be
intoxicated
for a while

like the
tide that
moves
inside you,

the open
heart that
beats within
you

I reach for
nothing else.

Through the
years
you have
become more
important
than air
itself.

the days
of my life
I give
to you.

the moments
in our lives
are only
for each other.

and the
children in
our bed
are our
first glimpses
of heaven.

and the
empty pockets
of our
days are
weary to
our lives,

but not
our hearts
or eternity.

we are not
of this
place,

but you
are of
me,

and I
am of
you,

and for
that I
am truly
grateful.

Though

life's

thorns may

entwine and

bleed our

hearts

dry in

suffering.


in full

witness of

God's

open eyes.


asking

penance,

I would lie

down and

surrender

to you,


and shelter

you from

any harm

or doubt

in love...


the giving

is the

salvation



of turning

black

to light.


to see your

eyes

and taste

your lips,


in faith


without

sorrow.


or pain..


to hold

you still,

with devine

intervention

and patience


of giving

everything,


and receiving

everything


in return.

It is in
your smile
this dance
that we share
between us.

steps unrehearsed
words not
written.

hearts beat
quickened every time
I hear your
voice,

and your
touch is the
essence of
angels,

right at the
moment
when your
wings lay
upon me.

in this naked
moment of
love and
understanding.

you are always
with me
in wind and
rain
and stormy
moments.

you cascade
over me,
and love me
deep
without hesitation.

and the taste
of your body is
every where
as it should
be every morning
when we first
awake.

every moment
when I kiss
your lips,

every moment
when I reach
to love you

envied by
the dawn

we ****.

slow down
take a
taste of
this time,

in these
words
and tangerine
smiles
we share
from time
to time.

take a big
bite
of the
moment,

with a deep
glass
of burgundy
wine,

on a Sunday
evening
with all
these
pages
of poems
nestled
high and
tangled
around
your feet.

you can
afford to
lose a
day or
two.

and reflect
in the
moment,

I give
you these
gifts graciously
like a
new born
it's first
smile,

and in
all of
you

it is
a moment
I will

never
forget.

Seeing your
eyes
breaking
dawn
as they
first awake,

reaching
to pull
your body
close
to mine,

the peeling
back of
emotion
upon our
lips,

the exhilaration
of my
tongue
dancing
with yours.

never missing
step always
yearning
for more.

losing my
hands deep
in your
angel
hair,

smelling
your scent
on me

like a warm

summer's rain.

love is
an angel
with full
wings
spread

faith
is it's
journey
that takes
our hearts

and destiny.

and love is

the seed
I give
you deep

this morning.

Open eyes /  

perhaps in
your eyes
is there
a color
just for
me..

a blessing
never given
before

unconditionally.

a hue
of love
and laughter
and life,

a bridge between
us that no one
else can travel?

when you
cry let my arms
fall around
me,

stay within
my breath
and body's
warmth.

when you
suffer let
your soul
open
and come
to confession,

to take me in
without judgment
or hesitation.

let the moments
we share be everything,

be the trademark

in every moment
that you live.

and at night
lie with
me there
still..

in heaven's slumber.

not confused
or obligated
by love's awkward
physical desires..

be only giving
and accepting
and embracing
in our bodies
open pleasure,

in every moment
that our bodies
touch.

be my vessel
to fill and drink,

to hold and be
drunk in
the magic of
your open
eyes..

that look
into this
world and the
next.

and see my seed
buried deep
inside you.

to the place
where prayers are
answered

to the
bed where
you will
never be
alone

to cry.

We left

our shades

of innocence

at the door,


we have

lived more

than enough

to bleed

and weep

openly in

front of

each others

eyes.


scares exposed

open wounds

oozing regret

and yet

celebrating

our struggles

and will

to survive.


and in

the shadow

of everything

is your

angel heart,


and gentle

laughter and

appreciation

of life

and love,


and I have

come to applaud

you so,

in the

echoes of

still shadows,


and dance

in the thunder

and tear open

your ****** dress.


your view of

me is pure

and I do not

find that

often in

this place ,

this black

shaped world

that surrounds

us.


to be still

and open

and seeking nothing

but to dance in

your smile.


and kiss

naked

without end,


to never want

to wake

from this

dream of

you and I

this morning.

And in

my bed

in the quiet

of night


you come

to me

and slip

naked into my

dreams,


and my

wishes fall

to you,


the taste

of your mouth

and the curve

of your siren

smile...


and the

soft texture

of your *******



I cannot ever

get enough

of you.


my tongue

licking in

ecstasy

your pink

*******,


placing them

both in my

mouth


rolling over

them over

and over again

until

my mouth

finds your

wet kisses

again.


and then

the arch of

your back

to me

when you

feel my

body hard

behind your

willing ***.


the parting of

your cheeks

as I move

inside you

and hear your

moan full

and deep.


this moment

excites and

invites

me to

moments

that I have

never known.


I willingly

your conquest.


no words

being said

feelings being

born in

blind faith and

the tenderness

of your

open grace..


baptized in the

understanding

in this

moment.


that love could

never be

anything

more again.






©

to be
with you,

means
the light
of my
eyes
will never
leave,

for to be
without you,

surely
my eyes
would grow
old
dim,

and to love
you as
I do ,

down and
through
the marrow
of my
bones,

brings me
a completeness
I have
never
known.

it is the
order
of stars
and sky
that blanket
this night
that I
hold you,

it is
the certainty
of husband
and wife
that I
love  you.

the whispers
of my
soul
tells
me it
is so,

that in
this time
under
this open
sky

our
destinys
collide
to become
only one.

and God
smiles
upon us

as only
he can.

when all
is well
and done,

and we
make
our final
journey
to him

together
unafraid,

children
in his

eyes..

Your kisses

I feel

in my

bones.


The juice

of your

mouth

quenches

my thirst

of you

as I

run my

tongue

deep into

your

open

mouth.


then quick

flicks

of your

tongue

melt upon

my neck

as you run

your body

naked over me.


and in

a moment's

eye,

I realize

I have never

been kissed

before.


not like

this.


naked

with you.


on this

Saturday

afternoon.


no limits

no pretending

to be

afraid.


only truth

and the rhythm

of your

body on

me,


and the

gentle

whispers

of our

open

hearts

as one.

Once
I tried
to build
fragile,

tender
crossed
bridges
there
to your
eyes.

I slipped
and fell.

and now
if I
could be
anywhere,


lying
there
in the
shape
of your
heart.

is where
I would
be.

skipping
off to
you.

our sunday
morning
best

tracked
across
our bedroom
floor,

unbuttoned
unashamed,

calico cat
passioned
smiles

running
true and
hungry,
across
our face.

under cool
persian silk
blankets
on our
bed.

we would
be every
where.

instead of
buried
here
in this

cross-eyed
point of
view.

sometimes
I feel
so stupid
just standing
round.

when just
yesterday.

your moment

passed
me by...

And you
have allowed
me to look
deeply

unmeasured,

and now
I have
found you.

your trust
broken,

love
abused,

tossed
aside
like a
broken toy

from a
childhoods
troubled
past.

your
heart beat.
barely
stirring
over in
the corner,


and your
lover
will not
notice,

and your
tired kisses
will not
care.

if I
come
in.

and carry
you
away.

time to
mend.

love to
heal.

time to
dream
new dreams,

and travel
with small
steps
parading,

to a better
place

for you
for me
and a
rainbows

promised
end.

Indeed if
I could say
hello to
you again,

a first time,
a first smile
a first laugh

a first skip
of my heart.

no questions
asked
only forgiveness
that it
took me
so long
to walk
and dream
with you.

and see
the gentle
yet supple
corners of
your face.

and what
would I
give
and what
would my
life be....

without this
first chance
to say

for a
million times
over and over
again

hello.

And your
bare breasted
arc is
a God's
reflection.

held captive
upon your
bedroom
mirror.

and deep
inside
your *******
I harbor

my love's
content.

beyond all
measure that
I have
ever known.

and as
I turn to
take your
hand,

we blend
towards
the morning
light.

and I

could
not

love you

more.

nor feel

this passion

more,

than at

this one moment

with your

soul

naked to

my  eyes.

For a
moment,
within
these whisky
night
shadows.

let me
have
your eyes
to dream
within,

because
I have
been
beat up
and battered
around,
for way to
long

a time.

holes in
my denim
shirts
front
pocket.

from each
time my
broken
heart
has cut
through
my chest

and run

away.

tired
of being
lonely.

like the
last renegade
drunk
at the
bar.

or the
last bouquet
of sundowner
flowers,


that
no one
will
be taking
home..

in my gut
I need

someone
to take
me home.

to be their
vessel
if only
for awhile,

that I
might
blossom
and bloom
within.

someone
to tell me
their
secrets,

and let
me
give
mine in
return.

can you
promise
me this.

with
both eyes
closed

and kiss
me with
open lips
deep.

It is
going
to be
difficult
to say.

to keep this
day dream
in your
back pocket.

along with
the shadows
of your smile
in my heart.

we were
14  I found
love in
the blue moon
circles
of your
eyes.

it changed
me in
everything
I would
ever see
in my
life again.

inside out
was how
you saw
me and

deep as a
river was how
our love
did run.

and for
the first
time in
my life
people
would
see me
there.

not some
figment
of my
adolescent
imagination

don't be
shy
you
said.

and I
never
was
again.

and then
at 16
you turned
me free.

and said
go love
some
more.

40 years
later

today
I know for
certain now
that..

I owe
this
wonderful
blessed
life I have
to you.

and it
makes me
fall in love
with you
all over

again.

Again this

morning I

saw her,

Patty.


She sits

at the bus stop

wishing for

the big

yellow bus to

come,


or is it

the next one,

or the one

after that.


Life has hit

her hard,

open wounds

easy to read.


She doesn't belong

to anyone else

anymore.


Her broken heart

out of rhythm

kicked to

the side

of the road

and forgotten.


so she

just sits

under the

early morning

light.


once she

was somebody's

newborn baby,


once I imagine

she could

have been

a beauty,

but that was

along time

ago.


Before the

savage teeth

of crystal ****

took it's

first deep bite,

and then

each night

came to

feed upon

her again,

and again

and again.


now she

just wanders

around the city,

panhandling

here panhandling

there 25 bucks

to lie down in

the back of

your car.


it's Monday

9 am I witness

her in her

same familiar spot.


I pray to myself

"my God, I hope

she makes

it to ten."

So easily

I fall
under the
eclipse
your eyes,

weightless
timeless
to a
place
in between

all of
the heart
beats of
an innocent
child,

where
everything
is new,

and your
touch  is
a hot
jungle
rain
that
seems to
never end.

it  falls
over me

cleanses
me,

makes
everything
inside me
renewed
and
certain

that I
am alive.

this place
where

only a
dreamer
who truly
looks
in your
eyes

can see.

and a
fool

cannot.

jack rabbit
clouds
clutter
the horizon
line,

runaway
segulls
pepper
the sky,

like so
many
beaked
pirates
in search
of a
meal to
blunder.

can opener
spirits
leave me
weary
and tripping
down
to the
waters
edge

and under
the white
foam
and surf,

between
the sea's
mercy
and lullaby
serenade.

I bury
my thoughts

in you.

Playing hide

and go seek

under the

covers

with our

birthday

suits on.


praline and cream

ice cream

melting

down the

inside

of your

thighs.


our games

together

are always

playful

and basked

in cardinal

innocence...


and though

morning

will surely

find

us...


we still

hide from

it too...


heart beats

racing

to beat

the dawn...

You were

7 or 8 years old

and all

that could

be heard

throughout the

house was

dinosaurs

dinosaurs

dinosaurs!


not just any dinosaur

we had to go

twice a month down

to the San Diego

Natural history museum

for a $40.00 Carnegie

collection dinosaur.


to say in those

days that that

put a dent in

my beer

budget and

golf money is

an understatement,


but each month

just like the moon

following the sun

they came.


I might not of

been as tipsy

in those days

as before,


and my buddies

often left for golf

without me,


but I would not

of changed a

thing.


to be intoxicated by

the joy on your

face with

each new dinosaur

we bought,


to hear you struggle to

say each new

dinosaurs name

over and over again

until you

got it right,


these moments

with you

became the

bearings of

my life.


and even now

you at 34 years old

we still talk about

our treasures and

you have each

and every one,


and I can't wait for

you to have a

son and to

hear the

echo in

this old man's

heart.


dinosaurs

dinosaurs

dinosaurs.!


and answer "yes they

are my beautiful

grandson,


yes they are".

We wake
to  the
morning
light,

and we
tangle
our feet
and cuddle
close our
bodies,

like two
monterey
otters
at play,

and take
deep
breaths
and sighs,

as we
look
into
each other's
eyes,

and.it
always
feels
like the
first
morning
of you in
my bed.


when I
look into
your eyes
and tremble
a bit
for fear
you might
be leaving.

but you
stayed and
suddenly
my sunrise
finds it's
color.

and my
arms regain
their feeling
as I
wrap
them around
your waist.

and I
promise
to myself
I will
never
let
you go,

till death
do us
part.

and even
then

I promise
you it
will only
be but
for
a moment.

till we
lie in
God;s house
till you
are back
in my
arms again.

and otters
play
on some
distant
monterey
peninsula
beach.

that always
makes me

think of
you........