Give me a new perspective, a new elective
A dialect I can elect to project
Something so I can feel protected
But is this Your elective I’m rejecting?
Is the addict for good or for evil?
Is the steeple for preaching or people?
I should have spoken and offered the key
But still I left us both diseased
So will I speak or will I please?
Is this for You or is it for me?

This headache is my own mistake
It's the siren let off in warning of this mindframe
Because my game is to play with my brain
I live in the pain of what my mind has made
It's a migraine—the absence of light
It represents a test as I walk through the night
I've been tested with no rest to walk by sight
Can you hear this distress call?
Something's not right

App full of sounds I don’t want
Sounds that don’t reflect my cup
I just want my cup to be dumped
See how it goes with the punt

the best feeling in the world
is to simply feel like yourself

There’s the man in the moon
An ancient rune in the sky
That is sadly too soon to die
And beneath it’s absence I lie
Laying here I’ve radically tried
But I’ve twisted the history
For some victory to sing lyrically
Waxing theological
Maxing cynically
Making it wane honorably
Hating the finical
So what about the man in my skin
And what battles does he win
None, so what’s fun about the sun
What have I to shine light on
Other than a late night care ride without brights on
So I hide away and play it renegade style
Cause the sun’s a definite
But my hope’s in the moon who hasn’t come around in a while
But my clockwork isn’t really legit
Because he was there a few days ago
I’m just stereotyping the ergo in my ego

Tower of Silence - Track 7

Verse 1
Once again, I’ve found myself up against a wall
Play pretend, I hear voices linger down the hall
I know, because I’ve done it all before
I don’t feel like doing this anymore
I don’t want to trouble you when the sun sets
I won’t show you all my pieces
I refuse to give you all my troubles
I neglect to let loose to all my demons

Pre-Chorus
Can you hear the voice inside me?
Do you know what my art means?
It’s calling out a cry, showing you my seams
Can you sense what my tongue claims?
Do you feel what I’m trying to say?
It calls you by name, asking you to stay

Chorus
I am a ghost
Transparent to those who get too close
Haunted by the ones I love the most
I’ll transmute on the low
That way they won’t know
And if it’s making me seem low
I am a ghost

Verse 2
All these people, they are real
All these questions, they’re sincere
All these voices, they’re for-real
And I will try, to let your words pass me by
Please ignore me when I say I’m fine
So I’ll ignore you still
On what I’d rather ****
Regardless, I don’t know how I could have fought this
Honest, I’d been even deeper down in the darkness
If it wasn’t for this art, God gave me as a start
But I am haunted still
All these voices, they’re for-real
When I write I begin to fear
At the sight of what is really here
I write some things and it seems so worthless
I say something and it feels so wordless
Maybe that’s the purpose
Memories formless, deep thought verses
Thinking comes to surface
Writing to plead something, rhyming but I say nothing
I have not forgot—You are all I got
Just trying to make it all stop
So before you go, don’t walk away
Listen for what I have to say
Deeper than this art or talent
A different dialect I can’t unpack
Eventually I will have lines to offer you
But you must stay—be here for what I’m going through
Stay by my side and give me time
My head is dead and decayed but I’ll be okay

Pre-Chorus
Can you hear the voice inside me?
Do you know what my art means?
It’s calling out a cry, showing you my seams
Can you sense what my tongue claims?
Do you feel what I’m trying to say?
It calls you by name, asking you to stay

Chorus
I am a ghost
Transparent to those who get too close
Haunted by the ones I love the most
I’ll transmute on the low
That way they won’t know
And if it’s making me seem low
I am a ghost

Verse 3
I’m driving inside my mind, and I’m driving kinda sideways
A runaway, but I don’t feel free
Relying on the highway—why can’t it be my way?
Swerving over the yellow lines
Give me some times to speak my mind
It’s stout to let it all out
So maybe my words are just drought
I know you’re worried for me and what I find
My head’s not right but I’ll be fine
I promise you I’ll come home some time
But in the meantime, listen for my cry
No, you don’t have to keep me down from ledges
Or steal from me razor blades and shoe laces
But prop you door open with wooden wedges
For when I enter into these dark places
For long enough I’ve tended to a heatless fire
Scared of labels they press to uninspire
Tried to convince me this gloom was nothing
Then you’d think I’m demented or something
But at the same time my aloneness was hyped
Making me think I was of the insane type
But it’s nice to hear my words filter in you
Otherwise I don’t know how I’d make it through

Outro
I know it can be hard
Don’t go in alone
Don’t think you have to be tough
Let your cover be shone
Your oxygen’s running low
Let our cover be blown
And steak out the window

Together we’re singing
Lah-lah-lah
Lah-lah-lah
Lah-lah-lah

i’m being sentimental...
                                            ...but i still
                                               miss you

Who are we deep deep down
Initially?
flesh
or Blood?

All these people, they are real
But I'll ignore them still
All these voices, they're forreal
But do I really want to ****?
Regardless, I don't think I could have fought this
Honest, I'd be deeper down in the darkness
If it wasn't for this art
That God gave me as a start
I'm taunted by demons, but still I write these verses
But when we write, we begin to fear
At the sight of what is really here
By writing to face your demons you'll meet your purpose

I went hiking yesterday
And I thought of a poem just for you
It may not rhmye
But I hope it helps you out sometime
With whatever you're going through
So here it is, without further delay ~

When you're hiking
Don't get so caught up on where your footing is
Stop and take a look around
Enjoy the scenery
Or else you'll get a spiderweb in your face

What's wrong with me?
What's my problem?
I want you to see
I need you following to the bottom
No, I am not enough
No, I am not enough
I cannot dig as far as I need to
Whithout them being here beside me too
But will I tell you?
I know, I'll fall if I don't
So why don't I let them know?

I just wanna see a day of decay go away
And when I close my eyes I’ll see the prize
Instead of the eyes, I won’t have to try
And another day of grace will come my way

I wonder if it's still you,
because it's no longer the feeling I continue to miss, it's  y o u.

You have a life, come and see
Take this pen and do as you please
But in time, please remember me

So much content
Should it all be on it

You say You’ve died for my sins
But is it a sin when my thoughts begin
To bend in the wind, and then
I’m feeling all my demons again?
Is it that I’m denying the truth?
Is it my fault that I’m haunted by rues?
I know that You will not lose
Just why does this have to be my cruise?
I worship but still I feel so lonely
Is this something You’re showing me?
When I get close, I’m struck with apathy
Overwhelmed with emotions attacking me

Am I like Orpheus? Am I morphing this?
Sent to reach into death for the arrested?
Show them they are not owned?
But am I not to look behind, less overthrown?
And if so, will they be taken below?

NEONISFAKEFIRE.
CAN’TYOUSEE?
NEONISFAKEFIRE.
WELL,ISUPPOSE
YOUHAV­ETOFEEL.

The light over my desk is still broken
I’ve been waiting for you to open
But now I only see that you’re moping
There’s something in you that’s been stolen
And I’ve been waiting for that light to hope
It’s an easy fix so when will you show it

Heap burning coals on my head
When I am starving, You give food
When I am thirsty, You give water
When I push it away, it doesn’t grow old
When I fit, You know my mood
When I puke it back up, You give more, vintner
Heap burning coals on my head
My face will burn red
At what I know You have fed
But nothing is wasted
It’s there and I can still taste it
It’s there and I can still taste it
Heap burning coals on my head
Heal me and I want a changed me

My flight suit, is full-proof
I jump in, no regret when
My armor, is stronger, don’t bother
The Father, is all that, I garner
Only He, can get me, father

Stay close to me, flight suit
I say when I don’t want You
I’ll take a step off, wearing my armor
I keep it tight, bound to the light
As I’m falling, into His calling

So easy to slip off, I tip off
I trip and skip down the lip
And I’m falling to the earth
Oh God, this is gonna hurt
But He still supplies my lift

Although I know I'm not alone
In the silence I feel so far from home
I cannot hear our song from here
To the point I can surrender to fear
But I won't let myself go under
For I know our march still will cover

It's not notifications on my phone that brings down my grade
It's some fascinatingly odd void that notifies my brain of ideas and passions that become necessary for me to write down or I may just explode

Oh how frustrating it must be
For you to watch the being inside of me
Become the thing it doesn’t want to be
How degrading, the time you’re wasting
Trying your hardest to make me feel
Can I just say that I’m being real?
Trying Your hardest to fill my well
To lose the voices I know so well
Well how frustrating, it must be
As I sit here comfor’bly
How degrading I must seem
As I fade here underneath

The blind live by faith, not by sight
They live in the dark, but step in the light
The blind are guided by the noise
They follow the words of His voice
The blind dance in step of what they hear
They walk in the fog, but their path is clear

Nigel seems to be a bit too prideful
I’m afraid he’s the champion
Of this game I’m playing in
I oblige to Nige, and in him I take pride
I try to defy the lies I buy
But with what I’ve become
I’m afriad he’s already won
And there’s nothing that can be done

there's nothing like
Guatemala
   there's nothing like
waking up to the sound of roosters
   there's nothing like
sitting up in that rickety bed, ready for another day of building a house, even though i went to bed like four hours before
   there's nothing like
slipping on an old hoodie and stepping out into that crisp morning air
   there's nothing like
Guatemalan coffee
   there's nothing like
the early morning conversations, consisting of lighthearted laughter and wise councel
   there's nothing like
simply sitting there, sipping my coffee, watching the sun slowly climb up the trees
   there's nothing like
how i miss these mornings
   and there's nothing like
how God uses that to remind me to serve His people in the mornings where i miss Guatemala

Tower of Silence - Track 5

Verse 1
Listen
Is this just my own selfish ambition?
All my doubt is taking over my vision
Could the letters in my head be my mission?
Or would the go ahead and be better off dead?
Would someone ever listen to this point or am I just missing?
Question
Is this my commission or am I just faking submission?
I must be ignoring the lesson
‘Cause I don’t know if I am dying or living
Or if dying is even worth giving
This is my faith that He’s testing, but I’m denying His blessings
Because for His sake, I’m abusing His grace
The name plate, isn’t His face
I’ve been given a new name to exclaim
But I walk and I will stay the same
I’ll talk but I’m repeating the game
Taken His own life to make a way
Given His Son in order to save
But I’ve made my own way to the grave
So whether this is dying or living
I’m so far from fulfilling
I’m too far from flying
I think I’m dying
( At least you’re trying )

Pre-Chorus
I want to fly
But why can’t I
Take up Your wings
I want to sing

Chorus
I am dry
Can’t You feel?
Can’t You speak?
I fall as I believe
I’m drifting as I think

Verse 2
Doubt, deep seeded but when it sprouts
I without a doubt know what it’s all about
But still I can feel like I’m left without
Dealing with these seasons of drought
I conjure up things He’s know to conquer
So why Father and I still bothered?
Oh how frustrating, it must be
As I sit here comfortably
How degrading, I must seem
As I fade here underneath
I know it’s dire, the sharing of this fire
I aim to inspire but the motion seems to expire
With the notion that our time is fading
And I’m debating if I’ll be waiting
So my fire seems to be waning
I have a comfortabLE ROutine
But my part seems to be fidgeting
As the sun with fade away, and my life with turn to grey
Pressure starts pulling at my brain
My faith drained—spirit contained
I’ve been robbed of my peace with the peace treaty
I’ve made with the pieces of what’s creeping
It’s the same game every day—same as it always is
Don’t want to speak my mind—waste my time explaining this
I’m an escape artist
It’s not written on my wrists, but let me present these skits
I’m a Pharisee and here I sit
Only content with the abyss
There seems to be no empathy
I’m on the verge of blasphemy
I’m alright so quit asking me
Who to be, how I see
Out of sight I walk absently
To walk by sight is just for me
The darkness suits me comfortably
This is what happens when I’m taken by worry
I guess it’s because I don’t feel worthy

Break
Lah-dah-da-da-da
Lah-dah-da-da-da

(( Can’t You feel? ))
(( Can’t You speak? ))
(( Falling as I believe ))
(( Drifting as I think ))

Lah-dah-da-da-da
Lah-dah-da-da-da

Verse 3
With what little of You is in my plans
I trudge through these stark and barren sands
My ocean is dry, a parched and des’late land
Taking the water of Your salvation into my own hands
But even as I cry, I found that as I
Look up towards You sky, I find it doesn’t meet my sight
So how worthy am I that You would go to die and trust me enough to make the eye
The problem is I can’t tell the difference between my sea and His sky
I don’t know which is which or where to start, light or dark
I’m just rowing alone, caught in the undertow
Can You drown my life?
I’m rowing through my emotions in only fragments of my parts
These days it’s hard for me to tell what’s real
What’s the sky, what’s the sea
Which is fire, cold or heat
And even what I feel
So here, here’s a message in a bottle
For if You even bother
It’s the floating dingy of what I’ve been thinking to show You that I’m sinking
Send down a strike of lightening to show me what to do
Light up my sea so my ocean can turn blue
Hit me straight on so I can see You
This sea is far too dark, and my wound has become a scar
Show to me God what is true
And teach me to hold onto You

Refrain
Keep me hold of You
Keep me hold of You
Keep me hold of You

Pre-Chorus
I want to fly
But why can’t I
Take up Your wings
I want to sing

Chorus
I am dry
Can’t You feel?
Can’t You speak?
I fall as I believe
I’m drifting as I think

Outro
(( Can’t You feel? ))
(( Can’t You speak? ))
(( Falling as I believe ))
(( Drifting as I think ))

Lah-dah-da-da-da
Lah-dah-da-da-da
Lah-dah-da-da-da
Lah-dah—

it's quiet now
silence gives me space
i crawl back inside my mind
and see how far my thoughts will go to lie
like my noose, i strangle the truth
uncross my t's, un-dot my i's

I wonder if it's her,
because I know God works in mysterious ways.

I have the drive of a servant
So I need to strive to learn it
It’s not enough to want it
That doesn’t reach the sum of it

Buzzcut to cut the buzz I dose
Cut ties with the side I delight
I cut my hair so they won’t stare
Giving into the plans of the Vendetta
Take the pain of VEIN and change the name

So I meditate on your temple
Of days back then, way back when
And I seek hope in the simple
I’m using the lead to discover the gold
Prophets of old, inside I hold
My stories of long ago, the beauty in now
As my story unfolds, I’m seeing how

I was about to make a rap about the color orange
But then I remembered, what rhymes with orange?
I mean, what actually rhymes with it?
Sure, orange floors, orange to the core, I scorn the orange
That all works, but I suppose there’s nothing like the color orange
I don’t know, I guess I just like the in-between

Soul murderers, what do you think occurs?
Is it because of your hurts, do you not care what is learned?
I’m trying not to get angry but this topic makes me shaky
For the lives you’ve been taking, the life that’s been shaken
And if she likes this bit, you messed up her head to enjoy that pit
And if it was up to me, I’d use profanity
But as you’ll see, God’s forgiven me
And His grace calls for a different pace
And to deny His face would be to claim another throne

We’ve made *** our throne
The thing we turn to when we feel alone
But loneliness comes from trying to fill that hole
With things we should know don’t made us whole
God is the only one that completes us
It offers us nothing to seek lust
So will we force our chasm for a quick ******?
Will we deny the peace at Jesus’ feet for who we weren’t mad to be?
Or trade in *** with our hand for the God who has a much greater plan?
This obsession isn’t a question, rather it’s a name we excuse to be lame
We’re prostitutes if we constitute to enjoy out of how we ought to
But at least a ***** gets paid to save their poor
We look like God requires of us to give up everything
Take a look at Christ and how much to took to bearing
Your sinful ways are dead and buried
I’d say it’s a pretty good trade
To hand your life over to the God who will have it made
You look to these things to feel worth
But wouldn’t you agree this endless cycle is a curse?
Turn to the only name that follows through
Is our Lord and Savior who makes brand new
And my anger is overtaken because He’s the God of savin’
And He will bring justice, but before then He offers us a way out of corruption
There is a God who can revive souls
When you surrender for Him to mold

I can tell that you wanna **** me
When I’m thinking it’ll be easy-er
Well, yer gonna need something stronger
Because you got the same ol’ routine
You aint got no new schemes
You’re the one that’s bleeding
‘Cause you know you don’t hold my meaning

you
are the best part of my day
make my day
are my good days

Can the lost ever truly be found?
How long lasts the holy ground?
When does it end and where to begin?
Are we freed indeed, or do we need
To keep ourselves to our deed to leap?
Well how would we, when we all seep?
Is it truly up to us, to keep us from a cusp?
Will we all just rust, if we’re not keeping up?

Faith, like a kid?
Well I got faith, under my bed
I said, will you be my friend?
And then he nods his head
But was something he misread
And he left something unsaid
Nige is my friend
But what he meant was fiend
And I find that I bend
To the weight of this wind
And I become something within
Something I’ve always been

Depression is a room,
one of many in this mansion I call my brain.
I've left, I assume,
but I still hear those demons scream my name.

I'm tossed about by the winds and the waves
Between me and who You're calling me to be
I want to be a slave to the One who has saved
But I rather not do what I crave: sit comfortably

I had created a world within my mind
To retreat to the darkness behind my eyelids
My head shipwrecked on what land I could find
Welcome to my wrists, I also call my islands

Even now, I'm drowning myself in my emotion
Between the tidal waves, I'm just rowing alone
I'm creating islands to rely on in this ocean
Open my eyes so I can sense the undertone

I've had the touch of Your torch
Is it enough of a touch to make me much?
I've touched the tough of Your torch
And I feared I wasn't of the sort
It isn't enough to sort of touch
Is it enough of such to stand on Your porch?
Is it enough, Your torch, to make me such?
It isn't enough, a touch, I want that much
I've touched and You are much, You are my torch
Now I'm such to have the touch of Your torch

Planning strategy, half of me
Follows through with what I want to do
And the other half takes the different path
Hath this way the only cay I have?

I look back
at what I've
written, and
I realize I'm
not that fine.
Do you ever
squint your
eyes then
finally realize
you're life's a
little not right?
I'm driving
inside my mind,
and I'm driving
kinda sideways.
A runaway, but
I don't feel free.
I'm swerving
over the yellow
lines. Give me
a chance to
speak my mind.
I know you are
worried, for me
and what I
find. But I
promise you
that I'll come
home sometime.

These new boxes are stressing me
Maybe I need to unlock my first one first
Then see where God is leading me
So many lines backed up in my mind
Should I cut ties and let them die?
Is it all just in my mind? I hope to not find
Use this dump for the bump, this lump I cup?
Rappin to uncap, tap if you’re at it

When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse
When it’s cold and that’s the sum, I revert
Chaos calls to chaos, it the tune of rapids
Day gone falls to trade off, then blooms habit
My deep need calls out to Your deep kindness
My feet leave by my soul is lead in blindness
Your breaking surf, Your mighty crashing
You’re making hurt, Your tidying my gnashing
Your waterfalls of weeping
Sends waves of sorrow
So I will be keeping
Because You long tomorrow
Over my soul, and cary me away
Over my roll, and wary of the way
Cascading over like a thundering cataract
Masquerade but lovingly I remain intact
God has promised to love me all day
And in the hardship I will obey
I will sing songs all through the night
For my life is a prayer
And through the morning light
Because my strife is His care

Here lately,
I've envisioned myself
standing on a stage.
I don't like the thought
of lights, or fog,
or anything like that;
those things have never really
appealed to me.
I picture myself
creating a diversion,
something we can point
the bullets at.
"Send them my way."
Is this just coffee high hypothetical?
I don't know.
We'll see.

I feel like a disgrace to the human race
But wait, they don’t grace the face me
Don’t play with the taste of me
Stay if you wanna say with me
The things the world won’t dare to speak
Both our demons and our society
The singing they keep off our tongue
The things they don’t want
Because they know if we sung
There would be new under the sun