I remember last year,
you sat next to me,
in the library,
on the floor,
you read out a joke,
we laughed,
and laughed.
I remember that joke.
I remember us laughing.
I remember you understanding me.
I remember you introducing me.
I remember talking about wayward sons.
I remember hall lights flickering.
I remember breathing in your smoke.
I remember walking next to you.
I remember sitting in the rain.
I remember crossing the bridge.
I remember singing old songs.
I remember your honesty.
I remember your smile.
I remember our words.
I remember being real.
I remember the goodbye.
I remember feeling numb.
I remember too much.

With all the stars in between,
I'm in love with the moon.

I'll never get to tell you
how much rocket candy means to me,
(even though I don't care for the taste)
or how I can't quite remember your
face,
but your smile stays ingrained into
my head,
I can't tell you that I now notice,
all the times I didn't notice,
when my mum
had left me with you,
left you to raise me.
you may never know how much care.

thank you.

one step is all it took,
one step, one rope.
it caught you,
lifted you up,
and cut you off.
it snapped you in half,
and took you away.

You're gone
you're really gone.
this isn't a bad dream
or a sick joke,
you're gone.
really.

I'll miss you,
I think.
though the truth is
I really don't want to.
I don't want to cry or mourn.
I don't want to grieve.
I don't wanna stay up all night hating myself because
I didn't help you through the dark.

I should've helped you through the dark.

I want you to hurt
I want you to miss me
I want you to ache when you hear my name,
and when you see my face,
and when you remember my laugh,
I want you to hurt so I won't have to.

No one thought to tell me,
So I just never knew,
But boys aren't supposed to look at each
other,
The way I looked at you.

Closure;
Seemed like such a cheesy word,
until I realized,
the reason my heart hurt so much,
was because a nine year old
didn't get to say goodbye,
seven years ago.

I wish I could place my thoughts,
into words,
arranged,
so beautifully,
that anyone reading,
can feel my words leave their tongue
and take home in their brain:
like you can.

The only problem with your dreams is that they make out fire to be the thing that fuels your heart;

But don't be fooled darling, fire will always burn.

Soft hands intertwine
themselves with mine,
our eyes meet,
and my heart shines.
My words melt off
my tongue
before they
reach my lips,
and that's not fair to you.
Because now I have
nothing to tell you
how stunning you are.
Your head rests on my chest
and I dare not breathe
for fear of disturbing you.
Not that I need air around you,
your laughter fills my lungs,
and your love runs
through my veins.
I could live here forever with you,
here, in my arms.
I could be happy.

There's a comforting feeling,
seeing that number on my phone,
feeling that panic,
closing my eyes quickly
and making a wish,
that I know won't come true.

it's like,
like fire being shot up my veins;
I feel alive.
It's addicting,
it's living in the unknown,
but every time I open my eyes...
I can taste it.
The nostalgic bliss on my tongue.
It's real.

But do I want it without you?

I saw you the other day.
My heart sped up
and I couldn't breathe.
I feared you may recognize me,
but part of me feared you wouldn't.
There's no way you could though,
we've both changed.
But then,
I thought a saw that hint
of recognition in your eyes,
your dull blue eyes.
I must've been mistaken.
though I kept looking away because
my eyes were betraying
my thoughts.
You left as quick as you came,
and my heart aches for you all over again.

Aftertaste;
Your lips reek slightly of
lies and broken promises.
trust me, I know the smell.
it might not be you though,
maybe it's me, the scent
may have made permanent
home in my breath after
countless years of others
leaving their lies on my
tongue.
But I'll ignore it,
and you'll pretend it's not there.