To love is to cheerfully cherish.
I wish I'd said that I loved you more and more each day.
To lose the one you love is to painfully perish.
I wish you were still here with me this day.

To love is to unconditionally trust.
I wish I'd held you close to me more and more each day.
Showed you that it was more than just lust.
I wish you were still here with me this day.

Roaring pain lingering timelessly
Grief haunting my soul tirelessly
It is my dear love, forced to the other side kicking and screaming
Please wake me for I must be dreadfully dreaming
My beloved was violently torn from my arms and eyes
Save me from this sorrow and tell me it's all lies
Tell me my beloved still draws breath
Tell me my beloved was not taken by death
I find peace in believing that it's for the best
That there is no suffering in final rest
I sincerely hope that it is true
Because I still long for you

My dear old lover and friend
I write this with tear filled eyes
A broken and scattered heart
I just heard the news of your passing
I heard that you were violently torn from this earth
You were not at fault
You fell victim to senseless behavior
My condolences are with your family
And all those you held dear
Including me I hope
I'm deeply saddened by your sudden departure
You deserved so much more
I wish you had lived longer to realize your dreams
But unfortunately you were called to the heavens
I truly hope that you are in a better place
I hope that you have found great peace
Rest in eternal power and peace
I am sorry you had to leave the world of the living so soon
Gone but never forgotten
Lost but never forsaken

With love
Your old friend
Goodbye old friend

Sons of the soil.
Daughters of the soil.
Wake up and rejoice, for its the day of your heritage.
Celebrate your culture, for it is your privilege.

You are Africa, Africa is you.
A nation so diverse and true.
A real rainbow nation.
Deeply rooted in our tradition.

Nna ke mo Tswana, ebile ke motlotlo ka bo Tswana bame.
Nna ke mo Pedi, ebile ka ikgantsha ka go nna mo Pedi.
Mna ndi ngum Xhosa, ubona nje, ndiyazi dla ngo buXhosa bam.
Mina ngi ngum Zulu qobo, futhi ngiyazi qhenya.

On this day, remember who you are.
On this day, commemorate who you are.
Take pride in your true identity.
Let there be peace and serenity.
In South Africa our land.
Together may we all stand.

Le ga ole moTswana wa Afrika.
Noba ungu m'Xhosa wase Afrika.
Le ha ole mo Sotho wa Afrika Borwa.
Are rataneng. Masi thandaneni.

On this day, speak your mother tounge.
On this day, sing your clan song.
A moTswana eme a kgibe.
UmXhosa maka phakame axhentse.
UmZulu maka sukume agide.
A moPedi a emelle bine.

Sons of the soil.
Daughters of the soil.
Wake up and rejoice, for its the day of your heritage.
Celebrate your culture, for it is your privilege.

To my brother.
From me, your sister.

I wish you quit the reckless drinking.
It turns you into a senseless being.
Mom is tired. She is hurting.
The constant crying and fighting.
Our family is torn.
uMakhulu is gone.
No one knows how to help you.
We still have hope, for the skies are still blue.
I lost all respect for you the night you laid hands on our mother.
Your son is ashamed of identifying you as his father.
But for as long as I live,
I am willing to forgive.
For as long as our mother lives, I can't give up on hope for your redemption.
She never stops praying and pleading to God for your salvation.
I hope you see the light, before it's too late.
I hope you release your heart from all the self-hate.
It doesn't matter where your substance abuse originated.
But you become a monster when you're intoxicated.
There's a thin line between a fun night out and alcohol abuse.
There's more to life than just drugs and *****.
God did not bring you here to drink 'till the death.
That was not the purpose of your birth.
I pray that you realise your true purpose and full potential.
The life you're leading is not practical.
And we plead with you to put this to an end.
Alcolol is your worst enemy and not your trusted friend.
You are capable of achieving so much more.
I always remember what you were like before.
The ambitious, talented and full of life.
I hope you find your wings and fly.
It's sad that no one visits anymore, because they fear you.
They fear for their lives, and what you might do.
Myself included too.
In all my dreams, you are attacking me, chasing me.
Is this really who you want to be?
I wish you could see yourself the way that we see you.
And maybe, you will desire to change too, as much as we do.
Your behavior is bad to an extent that we sometimes wish you would die.
That somehow life without in it would be better, no lie.
I'm not saying this to hurt you.
But only you can change how we feel about you.
By letting go of the things that you do.
I pray you gain the strength that you need.
To face your demons without the beer and the ****.
I want you to know that we love you and we care.
Whenever you're ready to do better we will be here.
We want to be a whole family again.
We want to be happy and free from pain.
I believe you can change.
You are not stuck in a cage.
You have us. From the bottom of my heart,
Please stop tearing us apart.


With love.
Your baby Sister.

I asked my soul "What is it you truly want?"
I asked my inner demons "What is it you truly want?"
My soul asked me for peace and serenity.
My inner demons demanded eternal wealth and supremacy.

I asked my spirit "What is it you truly want?"
I asked my body "What is it you truly want?"
My spirit desires alignment with the highest power.
My body longs to be touched like a delicate flower.

I asked my brain "What is it you truly want?"
I asked my heart "What is it you truly want?"
My brain asked me to follow my heart for direction.
My heart told me it desires true love and affection.

How do I get over you when all the songs remind me of you?
How do I forget all the torment you have put me through?
When you left I lost a part of my very own substance.
I started to question my very own existence.
Suddenly my world turned to gloom.
Suddenly I fell into a destiny of doom.
All of a sudden the skies are grey.
How could you wreck me this way?

Watching my dreams die and turn into scattered dust.
Covered in mortifying shame and sinful lust.
My soul wandering, slithering around broken.
The angels have me lost and forsaken.
These tears and sorrows are my chains.
I am bleeding inside from these chest pains.
It's myself I resent the most.
It's myself I blame the most.
How could I be so weak and vulnerable?
Seems I'm not at all worthy or lovable.
Yes, the amount of self pity is considerable.
But I somehow find it comforting and it's comfortable.
Being constantly intolerably miserable.
So undeniably alone it's unexplainable.
Inner peace seems so far and unattainable.
The depth of the damage inside is irrecoverable.
What haunts me most is that I am the one responsible.
The desire to perish and leave it all behind is unstoppable.
Is it possible that redemption and light is possible?

God I need you now more than ever.
In your word You promised to stay by my side forever.
Your word promises eternal love and amity.
Stay with me for all eternity and show me peace and serenity.
Help me live a life of purpose and fulfillment.
Help me release all the doubt and resentment.

Lord I need Your presence in my life.
I bring my burden to you and my endless strife.
Unburden me Dear God and carry me under your wings.
Heal me of the world's pains and stings.
In You I place my hope and my trust.
Save me from sin and unjust.

Dear God my heart is broken and I feel weak.
Your strength and guidance is all I seek.
I know that You are always true and faithful.
I know that You watch over me and I am forever grateful.
Dear God please hear my cry for salvation.
Dear God please hear my call for redemption.

This is for you.

This is for the woman with a heart of pure gold.
The young, strong, beautiful and bold.
This is for the sister with tears in her eyes,
Her striking smile still shines.
Hiding all the ache and affliction.
Behind that smile close to perfection,
Is a mother with a broken heart.
Praying for her home not to fall apart.
Husband not so true to his vows that he made in front of God.
Crumbling before her eyes is her whole world.
This is for the girl with a bruised face.
Holding back the tears as she stares into space.
Someone who claims to love her harmed her in that way.
He keeps saying sorry but today is the same as it was yesterday.
This is for the teenage girl who got *****,
Wishing she could have escaped.
She notices her body starting to change,
He growing stomach seems strange.
Another teenage parent,
This is how she fell pregnant,
She fell victim to the most painful crime,
By someone whom she trusted this time.
This is for the unemployed single mother.
Trying to raise her kids with a deceased husband and father.
Striving for every meal,
In the most terrible ordeal.
This is for all the strong ladies out there.
Who live through all the pain and fear.
And for every time you shed a tear,
God is observing.
So don't stop preserving.
You are the heart of the nation.
God's most loved creation.
Forgive all the brothers who wounded you.
For the skies are still blue.
And you are the heart of the nation.
God's most powerful creation.

Happiness!
Oh sweet cheerful happiness.

You're so far to reach.
You're impossible to teach.

How does one get to you?
How does one achieve you?

I have tried all the positive thinking.
All the joyful singing.

Do I not deserve you?
Am I not fit to have you!?

Am I not worthy of you?
Tell me what I have to do?

Am I too sad to attract you?
Am I not ready to receive you ?

You never seem to show up.
I'm always just so ******* up.

My relationship with you is unhealthy happiness.
Some days you show but only for a split second and no less.

I want you in my life happiness.
I need you in my life happiness.
As God is my witness.
Save me from this illness,
That is in my mind and all this craziness.
Please I beg of you happiness.

Come to me and erase all this sadness
Save me from my unhappiness

I'm tired of feeling all this loneliness.
I'm walking around faceless,
From all the pretence of my fake happiness.
I long for the real you happiness.

Show your face, where are you happiness!?
Without you I feel so meaningless.
My life seems to be so worthless.
I feel lack of direction and passiveness.

I find no reason to be passionate.
I feel weak and helpless

Oh happiness,
Sweet cheerful happiness.

He finds joy in bringing me down.
He likes nothing more than to see me frown.
He takes pleasure in my tears.
It's been this way for years.
He abuses me emotionally
He hurts me intentionally.
Calls me fat and all types of names.
He likes to play these awful games.
He likes to cause me pain.
I reckon it keeps him sane.
To see me bleed internally.
He won't see my hurt externally,
But deep inside it burns like hell fire.
He's a cheater and a blatant liar.
He likes to see me down on the ground.
And he'll kick me further down without a sound.
I never truly realized it until now,
But it's like he wants me dead somehow.
He is my lover.
But I guess it's over.
I guess so because he doesn't love me anymore.
Not like he used to before.

I am so sorry.
It was nothing, you don't have to worry.
I can explain.
Please let me explain.
You see he texted me, and told me he that misses me.
Told me he missed everything, like how he kisses me.
My senses began to weaken.
As he had me taken.
So I let him come over.
Although you were my lover.
But you were not there.
And here he was pretending to care.
So he talked to me until I got tired.
He knows how my body is wired.
I walked into my bedroom as he followed me.
I laid on my bed as he laid right next to me.
He started to kiss me slowly and passionately.
He started to pull on my clothes unexpectedly.
Next thing I knew he was on top of me.
Before I could say a word, he was already inside of me.
I couldn't fight the feeling he was giving to me.
As he kept thrusting in me, and thrusting.
I realized that I was too trusting.
Next thing I knew he busted in me.
And it hit me that I just cheated on you.
I just broke everything I built with you.
I'm sorry that I cheated on you.
I'm sorry that temptation got the better of me.
Believe me when I say he doesn't matter to me.
A moment of weakness is all it was.
A state of bleakness is all it was.
Please don't leave me. Stay.
I'm sorry I went that astray.
I am so sorry.
It meant nothing. You don't have to worry.

I believe you will rise again.
Against all odds you shall reign.
It's not over. Not yet. Not now.
Reclaim your throne so they can bow.
You've been to hell and back.
You've fallen off track,
More times than you could ever count.
A million times you've been burnt out.
Your soul is exhausted beyond measure.
You have lost all you used to treasure.
Chin up.
Show up.
Rise again.
You deserve nothing but to forever reign.
Don't fall prey to the hurt and pain.
Your demise is how they gain.
It's what they want to see.
Your ashes scattered across the sea.
But you are stronger than that, aren't you?
You won't give them that satisfaction, will you?
No you won't.
Not in this lifetime you won't!
You won't because you will rise again.
No matter what comes your way, you will reign.
All hail!
All hail!
She has risen again!
She is here to reign!
Here they stand before your feet.
Your friends and foes gathered in one fleet.
Those who wished for your self destruction.
Are here for your new introduction.
The one who has risen again.
Long may she reign!

Disconnected from the universe
Can things get any worse
I'm trapped in a lonely corner
I'm nothing but a lonely loner
All alone. All by myself
I have nothing left
I have nothing left to offer
The going keeps getting tougher
What do I have to do
No where left to go
Stuck between these four walls
Forgive me but I don't have the *****
To carry on this meaninglessness path
I'm sitting here holding my breath
Praying to see redemption
Holding on to the presumption
That it gets better
That somehow I matter
But I feel disconnected
It's like the world has not accepted
Me as my own person
My life seems to worsen
Each day there's a new lesson
Each day is depression
Depression and disconnect
This is foul play I suspect

I forgive you for yesterday.
For the day before today.
For the years before this one.
For all the years that have gone.
I want you to know that it's all well.
The past is not for us to dwell.
You have made some mistakes.
But it's all sweet cakes.
Your past will never define you.
Your future is right in front of you.
Forget all you have done wrong.
Sing a happy cheerful song.
Find peace and freedom.
The world is your kingdom.
You are fit to reign.
Dance through the rain .
You are a queen and nothing less.
You are forgiven for all the mess.
We learn and we grow. That's how it goes.
Smile you beautiful rose.
You are forgiven.
Appreciate the life you were given.
Don't forget to live.
Don't forget to forgive.

Love.
Me.

Well here we are, I forgive you.
You never said you're sorry but I forgive you.
I accept the apology I never heard from you.
With this I take back my all strengths.
I have gone through great lengths.
To be able to say this to you here and now.
I've made peace with it somehow,
How you left without reason.
It's a new day. A new season.
So wherever you go,
I want you to know
That I hate you no more.
I mean this from my core.
Fly like a bird you are free to go.
Wherever it is you decide to go,
Please don't ever think to come back.
Stay far away from my track.

Don't try to save me, let me burn.
The hard way is how I have to learn.
I don't need your help, leave me to suffer.
I tell the truth, I am no bluffer.
The truth is that I am being haunted.
The spirits have me daunted.
I am chased by the things of the night.
Sadly, I have lost the fight.
Well truthfully, I gave in to the shadow.
I am being held against my will down below.
They forced me to abide.
They locked me deep inside.
Took everything I held dear.
Left me with nothing but trembling fear.
Don't try to save me, let them have me.
Let them have their way with me.
Once they are done with me I will be brand new.
Many won't understand this, only a few.
They want me because I am the called one.
I am undeniably the chosen one.

Dear depression - You and your friend anxiety.
You have no power over me, and my sanity.
Do you know how happy I am when you fail to show?
Oh! I wish you would know.
How complete my life is without your unwanted baggage!
But somehow you always creep up on me, don't you? You savage!
Well, I put my foot down today!
You've had your way with me, but that was yesterday!
I will outlive you.
I will crush you.
You have no place here in my heart.
Remove yourself from my life, you filthy dirt.
No more shall you make me feel small and unworthy.
From now on, I will be free and healthy.
No more of your sad, sad feelings.
No more of your evil, evil dealings.
I choose to be free!
I choose to be me!
Get away from me, why don't you?
I am more valuable than what you make it seem true.
I am no failure. I am no quiter.
I am a survivor. I am a true fighter.
I have seen you take lives from their beloved.
But here with me you are over powered.
Listen when I say your days are numbered.
You have no power here!
I wish to make this crystal clear!
So please pack all your things and go.
I don't want to feel you in my space anymore!
I hate the way that you make me feel.
How much more of me do you want to steal?
You nasy parasite.
Please get out of my sight!
I'd give anything to see you dead and burried.
My friends and family out here worried.
Because of you and your friend anxiety.
I want my life back, along with my sanity.
Farewell depression.
Till we never meet again!

Stripped off my identity
Taken from my own sanity
Is this a rebirth?
Cause it feels more like death
Who am I?
What am I?
My spirit has too grown weary
My heart too heavy to carry
Soul drifring far away into despair
This doesn't seem fair
Where is my sun light?
I have lost my own sight
Holding on with the tip of my finger
How much longer will my essence linger
In this dark, cold dwelling
I long for smooth sailing
For peace and serenity
I want my identity along with my sanity

Dead inside. I feel nothing
Nothing but self loathing
My heart is ice cold
I watch the darkness unfold
My soul is dead
Emptiness is my daily bread
Happiness is a distant thought
My hatred is self taught
I despise life
Slit my throat with a knife
And I will feel pain no more
I have nothing to live for
I am dead inside
No where left to hide
I am dead inside

My hatred for you consumes me.
I hate you for what you did to me.
It is not just what you did,
It is how you did what you did.
As much as I can try to understand why you had to.
The way that it broke me is the reason I can't forgive you.
But me not being able to forgive me feeds on my soul.
The way that you ended things was foul.
You said that your love for me had diminished.
Those words had my heart and my whole being finished.
It was as if you ripped me apart.
I am still picking up the pieces of my heart.
The ones that you left behind.
I still can't fathom this in my mind.
You left me. Broken pieces and all.
Tears falling down my face and all.
You broke me. All the love and loyalty I gave.
I had no choice left but to cave,
To this sudden decision you had made.
How did your love for me just fade?
Was it ever there to begin with?
Or was your love for me just a myth?
You ended me. As much as I hate to admit it,
You took everything from me and left me in a dark pit,
A dark pit of despair and guilt.
Everything we had built,
Had crashed in front of my eyes.
All this because of your lies,
Your lies about loving me forever.
I watched that get washed in the river.
It is like you were even there.
I regret the day I met you with every shed tear.

Barely existing
Drifting through space
Can't feel my face
Barely existing
Surviving on intoxication
Need a paid vacation
Barely existing
Consumed by my own thoughts
More tequila shots
Barely existing
Lord hear my cry
Help me get by
Barely existing
What am I living for
What am I here for
Barely existing
Can't see purpose
Dead inside I suppose
Barely existing
Barely living
Need saving
Somebody help
Please anybody help
Help me get by
Lord hear my cry
I'm barely existing
I need fixing
I am broken
Have I been forsaken
Barely existing
I need healing

My demons
They consume me
My body, mind and spirit
No living being could ever comprehend
I could scream at the top of  the highest mountain
Bringing out my loudest vocal cord
No one will hear me
Even God Himself
The one who created me
He can’t save me
I don’t have control of my own thoughts anymore
Another force has taken over my life
I pray to God
And the dead
To help me
Save me
Lead me into the light
All I see is the darkness
I lay awake all night
Staring into these walls
As if they have the answers
The split second I fall asleep
I see them
Things I don’t want to see
Things of the darkness
Save me!
Somebody
Anybody
Please save me!
From my mind
From the pain
From the confusion
These demons
They demand my attention
I fear the unknown
I see the unseen
Blurry visions of the future
Encrypted dreams of the past and the present
That I can’t interpret
I wake up in a new body
Day by day
I can feel my being drifting from my soul
Day by day
Make it go away
I want to feel like a person again
I want to feel love and respect

Lost and alone.
So much to offer,
Yet so little faith.
No self-belief.
So much potential,
Yet so much pain.

25. Where has the time gone?
Where are the blessings and fortunes,
We were promised in our young days?
Work hard they said.
Those who don't give up shall prosper,
They said.
Our mothers told us we are the kings and queens.
We deserve nothing but the best.

But 25 years later,
Of working hard.
Giving it our all.
Yet no luck.
Days are dark.
Friends are few.
No one is true.
Where is the happiness,
They assured us?

25. You should be married by now.
What have you achieved?
What are you working towards?
Where do you see yourself in the future?
Why are you not doing anything?
What is wrong with you?
Why are you not like other kids?
They ask.


25. Half way to 50.
So young,
Yet so old.
So many decisions to make,
Yet so little time.
Not enough resources,
To make it through.

25. Don't give up.
You are 25.
You still have time.
It gets better.
They all say.
But what if I don't see the light?
Do I hold on to the darkness,
And pray to see the sun?

25. So much to live for,
Yet suicidal thoughts,
Are more and more regular.
Prayers are less and less.
Am I praying to the walls?
Is there a God?
Where is He?

25. Unanswered prayers,
And self-doubt.
Could there be other forces,
Bringing me down ?
Forcing me in to the darkness ?
Who do I pray to?
For salvation and light.

25. I have been waiting for you.
I have been picturing you all my life.
And you are not what I imagined.
At all.
You are confusing.
You are filled with dullness.
You make me not want to live anymore,
25.

So many questions.
No valid answers.
People just say what they want.
No true direction.
Not real inspiration.
And I see other 25s,
They have it figured out.
Who did they pray to?

25. No compelling purpose.
On a path of despair.
A path to depression,
And anxiety.
A gloomy route to hopelessness.
When you lay down you can hear,
Your demons whisper.
Are they ever going to leave me alone?
These demons?

25. I am not fond of you.
You make me want to turn back the time,
And choose not to never meet you.
What will my mama do if she found me,
Dead in my shower because of you.
And your beasts.
I have had enough of you,
25.