I swear these walls be talking.
They be whispering things about me.
They laughing at me.
All the time.
I swear!
I can hear them.

I'd give anything to never see your face again, for it is torture.
Seeing your face everyday, is torture.
Seeing your face everyday, knowing that I will never wake up to it one day.
I'll never know the touch of your hands.
The warmth of your breath against my neck.
The taste of your soft lips upon mine.
The gaze of your eyes upon mine.
Nor your embrace upon me.
Your husky voice when you wake.
It kills me.
Knowing this, kills me.
I'd rather not exist, than live with this.
I'll never hear you say "I love you".
Never hear you say "I miss you".
Never see you cry.
Never watch you dance.
Never hear you sing.
Never see you holding our son.
How is it that you're not meant for me, when I feel this way about you?
When you reside in my mind permanently to no end?
When I don't see myself with another beside me but you?
How is it possible, to love someone so dearly?
Someone who will never feel the same way?
Surely I am ill.
Surely I despise myself.
Surely I am worth nothing.
Surely you hate me as well.
How do you not see me, the way that I see you?
Surely I am hideous to set eyes upon.
Surely I am no one.
And you are everything to me.
I wish for no one else but you.
I long for no one else but you.
I hate this feeling.
I hate every last bit of it.
I hate you!
I love you, I truly do.
But I hate the way that you make me feel about myself.
About the world.
About love.
About you.
Please release me.
Why won't you die, and release me?
I'll never be free for as long as you live.
Release me.
For God's sake.
Release me.
I am tired.
If you won't die, maybe I should.
I'd rather die than see your face again.
I'd give anything to never see your face again, for it is torture.
Even if if means dying.

I hope he's happy
I hope he's in love
That he's giving it his all
He's not holding back
I hope it ends in a fairly tale for him
And that he finds real love
As for me,
I will heal
And when I finally do
I'll be genuinely happy for him
But for now,
It still hurts

I'm inlove with you, Death.
I can't stop thinking about you, Death.
I wish you'd come for me.
Rescue me,
From the prison of life.
It's filled with nothing but pain.
Negative thoughts.
Self limiting beliefs.
Death, you seem like my savior.
My only way out.
Death, you shall be my hero.
You shall save me,
From myself,
From eternal sadness,
From self pity,
From feeling like I'm not good enough,
Like I don't matter.
Dear Death, if you're reading this,
Please come from me.
I will welcome you with open arms.
I will dwell in your house till judgement day comes upon us all.
I will embrace your darkness.
For my fragile heart knows no light.
I am trapped in melancholy.
I can't break free.
God hears others but not me.
I will take cover in your shelter,
As I look down upon those I once loved.
I will give my meaningless existence to you.
You will be my purpose,
My destiny.
Please save me.
I will give you my last breath.
You can have my heart,
For all eternity.
I will be yours and you will be mine.
I belong with you,
Not here.
Not in this circus of a world.
It is cruel.
I want to be by your side.
Not here, all by myself,
With no one to lean on.
I will give you my all.
I am yours for the reaping,
I am ripe and ready for your harvesting.
I surrender to your mercy of an eternal slumber.
Let me close my eyes forever.
I know not why I was created.
Maybe it was for you.
Please be mine.
I shall be your bride.
And you my groom of darkness.
I may never find happiness,
But at least I'll have you.
My prince of darkness.
I cherish you.
Every time you come for others,
I can't help but wish it was me.
I eagerly await my turn,
To be one with you.
I want to marry you, Death.
I want to dance with you, Death.
I'm in love with you, Death.

I want you to know, that I loved you.
I saw myself with you. I truly loved you.
Accepting that you do not love me the same,
Has been by far my greatest, most deepest pain.
I do not understand. I can not comprehend.
There is no way for my heart to mend.
I am broken beyond measure.
'Tis your heart I used to treasure.
'Tis you I desired.
The only I admired.
It breaks my heart to see us apart.
I am stuck with a broken heart.
'Tis bleeding.
I can't stop weeping and pleading,
To God to say 'tis not true.
He loves me too.
For I love him so.
I will follow him where e'er he may go.
Stand by him through thick and thin.
Dwell under his soft melanin skin.
Have his kids. Make him my kin.
I'll repent from all sin.
If it means being beside him.
Please, don't take him from me.
For I love him so much.
I'd rather die than live without his sacred touch.

Who is going to care for my heart?
Who is going to catch me when I fall?
Who will wipe my tears away?
Who will laugh with me?
Who will love me?
Dear God,
Why have you left me
All alone?
With no one.
But myself.
Who is going to love me?

I will heal
And when I do
I will write about it