Hands are unique,
Rough, soft, old, new, large or small.
But they often link,
When all hope,
Appears bleak.

I miss monarch butterflies on milkweed

I miss apricot trees

I miss planting random seeds

I miss how cut alfalfa smells

I miss my childhood dirt, tears, and all

The only promises,
I ever want to hear,
Are the ones you plan to keep,
Should you fail,
Let it be not be without the most vigorous of crusades.

I love with youth,
Vitality and passion,
But I hope to learn,
The art of loving old.

"Take my hand,
And trust my touch",
So I did,
And felt of his love.

Many times I look at old names,
Which lay stale on my screen,
What ever happened to them?
What demons did they face?

You asked for my thoughts,
How do you feel?
And my mind wandered...
But never from you,
But to every instance of you.
Your shadow will never fade,
From the sunset of my memories.

Its beauty is burned into the sidewalks,
Baked by golden autumn evenings,
And the marks will remain even if you walk down a new street.

And I will see them,
Dark,
Against the white of concrete.

The word "child" speaks of innocence,
From it's beginning to end,
And yet,
The child is shown violence and horror,
The seen evil dwarfs every adult before them,
And yet they smile,
Though bound to a world of guilty.

If I could crawl
I would do so among the great mammals of the sea
If I were to swim
I would enjoy the wet and godly heavens above me
Should I sleep
I would dream of paradise where no ill take me
When I walk
I wish it were without shame

Should we have kissed that day?
The idea did rest hot on our lips,
And it's suggestion clear in our eyes,

We waited,
Still somehow,
The almost kiss remains sweetest.

I never meant to break,
The heart of a young,
Cowboy who was sweet,
Tea in the summer.

I was a confident,
Less than other girls,
And didn't understand myself,
In the eyes of he,
Saw me as a wild flower.

Friends is all,
To him I thought I was,
More than my shy,
Beautiful he said.

So I said a friend goodbye,
His ray of sunshine gone,
Too far for ropes,
Of love I had yet to learn.

"It was the first time in a long time I cried K."
"So hard I didn't know if I could stop."

To make a cowboy,
Broken is something,
I thought not possible,
As I felt anyone would,
Have found beauty in me.

I'm sorry cowboy,
I was young,
I didn't mean to hurt you,
Were the strongest,
Man I've ever known.

To sleep is to trade,
The god of rest your consciousness,
For a moment of his addictive peace.

He bought me a new dress,
For my birthday,
"You're gorgeous,"
He said before I put it on,
"This is just something to remind you."

Once again you call me a *****,
For wanting one man's attention,
To the details of my dress
Heart, mind, and soul.
And perhaps I'm wrong,
For wanting his love so young,
But who are you to judge,
The details of my heart, mind, and soul?

I need an extra three hours
between my morning to noon
to stare in the mirror
hate my clothes
love myself
to drink my coffee and savor each sip

Sometimes my sentences end
incomplete and without
clear directions.

It's the stress,
it pains my head
and eyes.
It makes me want to throw up, sleep, and cry.