In between the beams of light
grow the roses. With reaching
limbs like arms stretching
too the sky, and roots
dig deeply seaking hydration
and nutrients in the earth.

We are like the roses,
we grow in between the beams
of God’s light, we search the earth
for hydration and nutrients.

We are child like under
God’s grace and mercy.

Such divine intervention as
is the light God shines
through the smoke and
smog we produce and design.
Sometimes we are blinded
by our smoke and smog,
until we have time to
open our eyes.

© 2018 By Amanda Shelton

Few people can be believed
The lips are packed with lies
Words fall as if manœuvred
To benefit selfishness’s world.

I carry the dust of deceitful
tongues, swollen, diseased
Where is cleanliness left?
‘The dog’s bowl at the door’.

Love Mary ***

My birthday comes in a little over 2 weeks and I think when people talk about birthdays, they are secretly talking about status in blocked hours.

Somewhere in that 24 hour block, a person was born, and that person was me. .....well Yay I guess.

I don't like my birthday. And the reasons for that, are more complicated than you think.

When I was 13, I was really into cupcake birthday cakes. I asked for one, every year, for a long time.

When I turned 15 and 16, my best friend baked me cupcakes and brought them to school for me, and I shared them with my peers. You see, I considered her my best friend, and I guess that's not enough to be the best friend.

It's like unrequited love if you put poisonous platonic friendship in my blood first.

When I turned 17, she did baked me my last set of cupcakes, but I no longer had a best friend. So I spent my birthday mentally by myself while my family sang otherwise.

And right now, I hate cupcakes, and superhero films because they remind me of her. But saying that is the weakest thing to do, since everything, reminds me of her.

I will never admit I loved her, the same way she will shamelessly say she never loved me. I can't hate her, but I can't see her without hating myself.

You know age, goes up, the same way sadness, goes down. Pulling you into another 24 hour block just so you can say.

"Hey. I made it another day."

I will admit that every day without her is another day without cupcakes, and another day without sugar is another day without happiness. And people may have asked me "How can you flip-flop between preferences like you're not the biggest homosexual in the closet." So when I tell people I'm straight, they tell me I'm not allowed to change my mind.

I loved her, but she left me and took all of my friends with her. And I thought that real friends wouldn't abandon me, but there is always time to be wrong. By the time my birthday comes, I'll be crying, and she doesn't even remember what day my birthday is on.

By the time I read this out loud, I will have been through this birthday, like a person walks through fire. Turning 16 is less about age, then it is about school, and turning 18, is less about the number, and more about becoming an adult. And no amount of adult can neutralize pain.

I have accepted the fact that no man will ever really want to marry me. And no Christian, will ever truly want to love me.
And if I am wrong, I will have to repeat this lost love forever dragging it out in my life.

And if I have kids one day, do you really think...

That I'm going to tell everyone if it's a boy or a girl...

By making blue or pink...

...cupcakes?

I won't fear or run away,
       If my death comes to me now,
                      .
                      .
                      .
But I will always regret for my unfulfilled wishes,
My wish of going to a sea beach & spending a whole night talking silently to the moon & the brightest star,
My wish of breaking this jail & run away somewhere far,
My wish of having at least a boyfriend,
My wish of leaving at least one person behind to cry on my end,
My wish of planting plants on my 18th b'day,
My wish of spending a day without tears & full of gay,
No I won't fear or run away,
     If the death comes to me now,
    & no I won't be filled up with the sorrow,
Cause I know Almighty will send me again to fulfill them maybe today or tomorrow!!!