Ladies and gentlemen,

That person that didn't want you, love you, pick you for their love, for their life. For what ever reason.
That person doesn't deserve you.

Those texts you send when you shouldn't, but you're drunk and your boundaries have slipped.
They are not the real you.
The strong you.
Don't send them.

Looking at photos of their new love. The one that they picked instead of you.
That's not going to help you.

Those poems you wrote them. Stop!
Save your beautiful words. Don't waste them on someone who reads them but doesn't feel them.

Don't feed someone's ego, and destroy your self respect in the process.

That ocean of tears you cried, over someone that wouldn't even catch one tear for you.
No more.
Save your tears for those who deserve your love.

This self destructiveness, isn't you!
This never has been you.
Miss guided passion.
The drinking, the texts the phone calls.
The modern day problems of blocking and unblocking of numbers and Facebook profiles.

This isn't life. This isn't living.

This is wasting precious time.

I know it's hard. I know your heart is heavy with the cracks it now must endure.
But time can stitch over the cracks and pull the pieces of your heart back together.
Trust me. I've done it.

Surround yourself with your own love.

Hibernate, metamorphose, lick your wounds.
Heal yourself.
Take as long as you need.

It's not easy for us sensitive souls. But it can be done. Overcome.

Learn, be brave.
Then Love again.

It means nothing, it means everything
I want nothing, I want everything
I feel nothing, I feel everything
I ask for nothing, I want for everything
I dream of nothing, I dream of everything
I love nothing, I love everything......

If I bare my soul to you, will you still love me?
If you see the scars upon my skin, will you turn away?
If I run from your love, will you give up on me?
If I hide away, will you stop searching for me?
If my heart dissolves, will you turn your back on me?

I bear my soul to help you.
I have scars to provide you the evidence.
I run from you, to save you enduring my sadness.
I hide so that you never seek out my truth.
My heart dissolves, so that yours can stay whole.

A wish.

Walk me under the moonlight Dance with me beneath the stars.
Kiss me under of the night sky, beneath Jupiter and Mars.

Swim by me in the ocean,
Sail with me through the waves.
Run with my hand in your hand.
Through waterfalls and caves.

Guide me along the winding roads.
Lead me into the light
Carry me across mountains
With snowfall crisp and white.

Lie with me under the sunshine,
Roll with me in the hay.
Search with me for happiness
In each and every day.

Time apart is therapy, to have different stories to share.
But the best stories I'll have to tell,
Are the ones when you were there.

My father
Sick of motor neurones
And holes in the aorta
Has made a decision
Full of heartache and pain
I support
I understand
But the darkness has returned

He has started the journey
The process has begun
I will be by his side
I will hold his hand
I will fight back my tears
My aching heart will stay hidden
But the darkness will come too

I must be brave
For him I must stay strong
He will be frightened
He won't know what will happen
After he has left his body
Does he still believe in God
I'm not sure
I should ask him
I wonder if darkness has got him too.

Begin again

She held on too tightly, white knuckles shining through the blackest of nights, that returned with such venom, that she stung to her very core.

The shades came crashing down and the pull of the night dragged her curious mind back into her past. A past that was so familiar, it had become a second skin.
Stretching over her lightness, an eclipse, of which escape seemed too far out of reach.

Surrounded by her friends she was still alone. The wall she'd built,  towered above and was too high; There were days when it's bricks were cemented together with fear and jealousy. A black, sticky mass that no love could pass through.

She had to find her way back to the lightness. No longer could she endure. For she had felt the lightness that tugged at her soul and she dared to believe. Dared to hope

She fought until her knuckles and elbows bled with an angry, frustrated but knowing love.

She fought until just breathing and stillness were all she could summon from inside herself

And in this breathing and stillness she found her quiet mind. A mind so strong that it grasped her from dark to light in a single heart beat. Just as it had stolen the light away only hours before.

She would return to darkness time after time. She had accepted this.

But now she was loved, and she loved.
And this love would always pull her back....

Cut off my head
and sew it down between my thighs
Wire my mouth open
It's more use to me down there
At least it can be filled with the filth of an elder non-gentleman
I have become a **** in my quest to open my fathers eyes

Give me the needle and thread I need,
to stitch my heart and stop the bleed.

Give me the cement to build the wall,
and feathers so soft to break my fall

Give me the fire to light the flame,
To burn what was, and start again.

Take your needle, and paint my skin
Tattoo over, under and across my territory, so they won't see inside me
Pervade my body with rainbows of pain

With Striking colours, hide the black and grey mass of my being

Take my skin to another land
Where flowers bloom, fairytales live and rainbows glow
Where my heart is hidden

I hide myself well, my skin draped with powerful ink
It's how I protect
How I live behind
How I survive

In this world full of chaos
I try to find solace
I try to find peace

In a place
Where there are foxes everywhere but no sheeps
I try to find a soul who is same as me

In this world of  fake smiles and cunning minds
I try to find someone divine
Someone with a sacred soul and a beautiful mind