Back in ninth grade when I first saw him, before I knew his name, before I knew who he was or who he would become to me. The first thing I noticed was the enthusiasm he spoke with.
I didn’t think he noticed me, even if he showed how much he cared for someone who was basically a stranger.
I didn’t see what he showed everyone else, the long hair and baggy clothes. Someone who didn’t care. I saw this boy who was too intelligent for his own good and could end the world if he so desired to. I saw this boy who found it so funny that I squeaked when poked and did it nonstop.
I stood on the sidelines and listened to this gamer kid who was so caring to his friends even though he picked on them to show it.
In tenth grade, the first thing I noticed were his eyes and how it felt to give him a hug when he asked, telling me he missed me when we sat a desk apart in science.
I didn’t know this kid with long brown hair who I thought I would never see again would turn up in my science class and my heart would beat just a little bit faster.
When I first saw him I saw past what he showed everyone else and even though my head didn’t know it, my heart did and it spent all semester trying to tell me.
I saw this guy who looked like he could care less but was always smiling and laughing and was so interesting to listen to, even if what he was saying was gibberish to me. I saw someone who liked to joke around with his friends.
I saw his smile, his laugh and how much he cared. I really liked when he smiled and the look he would give me when I did something weird.
He cared about his girlfriend and then friend, sometimes he would talk about her. I liked how much he cared.
All this time ago, I didn’t know who I was looking at was the boy I’d lay in bed having a pointless conversation with while my heart screamed at me to tell him how I felt.
I didn’t know that I would look forward to science class, just because of him.
I didn’t know that I’d be unexplainably sad when the semester changed and then oddly happy when I saw his name on the desk beside mine.
I didn’t know this was the guy that I’d have so many firsts with.
I didn’t know that this was the guy who would use my own ring to (jokingly) propose in sophomore year when we were 16 as we walked to fourth period.
Somehow he managed to see me. I still don’t know how though. And 3 years ago, I had no idea who he’d become to me.
When I first saw him, there were so many things I didn’t know and today there are still so many things I don’t know. But one thing I do know is that I love him.