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 Jul 25 CJ Sutherland
Joel K
My methods to run away have been eradicated to ash and steam, always hot at the moment.

The place where my heart resides is only hazardous, confusing itself with toxins.

The place where the brain commutes with the rest is not functioning.

One thing holding you captive to chains, your imagination carrying you to somewhere else.

Listen to the doubters, they say “You’ll never stop.”

Like a tunnel all hollow their only echoes are denial.

Whatever situation you're in, plead with two hands to take it away.

Even when tears dont fall and it's hot outside, outcry to make it work.

On the two knees you use to stabilize yourself, look up and watch the clouds drift as time does.

Intense focus on the clouds as they move inside time and intense focus on the conflict inside.

Cry out more to make it payout, because if all your efforts are in vain, something is not working.
This was a rough draft. Only thing I edited was the title.
I don't need you
to want me
I only care
when I'm lonely

I don't need you to be
nice
let me give you
some advice

I don't care
if you need me
I only want
what I can't take

lay your hands
freely on me
feel there's nothing
left to break

I don't care
if you take me
I have nothing
left to give

just don't dare
try and make me
admit
I made a mistake

I don't want you
to want me
I don't need you
to care

just as long
as we're on me
and I get
to feel you stare
best enjoyed in a MorrisSinatra voice
O life, my life! Once written with aplomb

The skies were clear, the rain was light, I marched towards the dawn

My footsteps echoed evermore
and though the road was long

I stepped with head held high as flight, always looking on

But life! life! strife!
and fear
The ink is running dry
This passage is amended
Before the last goodbye

O life! my life!
What wicked whispers want

I silence them by light of day,
though in the night, they taunt

They shadow me, my marching quelled, they meld in to the morn

I haven't strength, my will bereft,
I rest with them in scorn

For life, my life! of weeping pines
and fear
The ink has all tipped over
And the message is quite clear

O life, a life! unending in aplomb

The skies are light, the rain is gone,
the spirit carries on

No steps that echo, still, so fleet,
the road won't seem so long

So march
and be united with your love before the dawn

For life, O
life,
is a smile
through a cry
This passage cannot be amended
No need for goodbye
yeah I copied that famous one
 Jul 22 CJ Sutherland
Laura
Touching people.
Mending hearts.
Reaching out.
Giving hope.
The river flows
But not outside of me
My body
As much as I tell it
It will not respond to my emotions
As much as I cry inside
It will not cry outside
As much as I smile inside
It will not smile outside
It's been a while since I've posted, but I just haven't had much inspiration lately. I finally got inspiration but not in the way I wanted... My grandmother fell at the movie theater yesterday and broke her arm, she was rushed to the hospital had her surgery today. We rushed to see her, and as much I wanted to, as much as I tried, I wouldn't cry. I felt guilty as I saw my mom sobbing uncontrollably, meanwhile I had such an unemotional face. I' autistic and it's like my body doesn't show my emotions, I cry for myself, like when I get yelled at, or am stressed. But, when it comes to death, injuries, even when I myself am injured I just can't cry. And when it's another person, it just hurts so much, because I want to cry, I want to sob, I want to show my pain, but my body won't do that. It's like having a constant mask on my face but one that I don't put on, the real mask is the one that shows the emotions because I hardly ever show lots of emotions on my face. Writing like this has helped, I think I've even found some more inspiration :) to whoever has read the entirety of this, thanks for reading I hope you have a wonderful day or night!
First understand yourself
before you can know the world
 Jul 22 CJ Sutherland
saint
deprivation on a fathomless level.
a hunger deep within me, unseen and untold,
i yearn to be sought after, cradled, cherished.

embraced like the soft delicate petals of a flower.

my core; soft, and tender, like the warmth of dusk.
craving a touch that nurtures and sustains.
yet my exterior, rugged, and untamed.

a tempest forged in fire, burning with desire.

i am not the monster i paint myself to be,
nor the cold, unfeeling creature i pretend to wear.
i hide behind a scowl, thick as armor,
but behind it, my heart trembles, raw and bare.

i long for a connection, to feel a hand,
not just to be touched, but to be truly seen.

the  fire within me is not to destroy,
but to illuminate the path to love and understanding.

why, then, do i push away the warmth i need?
why do i wear this mask, unyielding and cruel?

i wish to be loved, to be held in the light
but i flicker alone, too dim for their sight.
<3 to anyone who can relate
It took from me
Chipped away bit by bit
Drained me… well, almost completely.
Yes, I’m not whole
But I’m still art

Cracked canvas
Worn edges
Colors bled into corners
Where joy used to sleep

They see the ruin
But miss the strokes
They touch the scars
But not the story

I am the gallery of everything I survived
Every tear; a brushstroke
Every silence; a signature
Every goodbye; an unfinished line

No, I’m not whole
But wholeness was never the goal
I was meant to be a masterpiece of endurance
A mosaic of moments that didn’t **** me

So let them stare
Let them call it pain
I call it process

I call it proof
That beauty lives
Even in what’s been broken
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