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This sound,
like a friendly wind,
walking through
my lost memories
from irreversibility,
from the cold reality
of indifference
returning to fulfilling promises
as an answer to my invocation

A unique, sweet sound
is calling me now,
after twenty-five years.
I bought that ticket,
sitting in my narrow seat,
holding in my hand
a piece of uncertainty
that deforms
every time I get on board.

I used to take so many trains:
traces, luggage, running passengers,
waiting, wasting minutes.
They brought me,
step by step,
station by station,
to this voice,
to this tone of being,
in tune with silver threads.

The windows are yet closed.
I carry in my cells
the code of Alef,
a crystalline illusion.

The lens caves in
and swells outward,
seeing the elusive past
still living in me,
playing under a different sun,
through elusive existences.

We came as twenty-one souls.
Twenty I found.
One was lost—
the one closest
to my breathing truth.

The final deal:
Am I losing
or will I rest
in deeper words?

Yes.
I did it for you,
changing alternative worlds,
pulsing around me,
invitations not accepted.

I open the gate
to a new home:
to warmth,
to creativity,
made by sweet recognition
of blooming Fall to come
waiting patiently
for your move
for your not-yet-published story.
 Jul 29 CJ Sutherland
eliana
It's hard to trust someone who always lied.
It's hard to love someone who made you cry.
It's hard to care when you want to die.
It's hard to believe when you have no pride.
It's hard to forgive when you already tried.
It's hard to be happy when there are tears in my eyes
life.
 Jul 29 CJ Sutherland
kevin
Statements of non free speech.

A former La Cañada Flintridge assistant city manager is facing embezzlement and insurance fraud charges for allegedly stealing nearly $200,000 in proceeds from insurance claims paid to the city, Los Angeles County prosecutors said Thursday.

Carl F. Alameda, 44, pleaded not guilty on Wednesday to 11 felony counts of embezzlement and 23 counts of insurance fraud, according to prosecutors. If convicted of all charges, he faces a maximum sentence of 33 years in state prison.

His compliant settlement with debate is that the supposed number of whatever build is his name and not a human crime to be admitted into evidence

Example 1 of dissuasive measure in debate hearing, without participation, end time in journaled sight.
There is no me without you;
You made that truth.
Broke me, changed me,
Put poison in my roots.
Pruning, trimming,
Tightening the noose.
All of those alterations for a version of you.
I hate myself now, you win.
I hate my mind, my body, my skin.
All that makes me, me.
But did you truly hate me?
Or did you hate the pieces that reminded you of Him?
You became obsessed and tried burning my rot, but it wasn't just me on the family plot.
Your fire scorched all the ones we love,
All because I bear his blood.
Or was it my reflection you despised,
A mirror of your own eyes?
I can sympathize;
I hate most parts of myself,
But that does not dignify the years I have cried, All because you couldn't love yourself.
The cracks in our foundation are all that is left,
You can do a factory reset,
But I remember all the poison you have said.
I remember all of the lies, the pain, and the Deafening silence while the blade was on my Skin.
But you never saw,
The hurt I held close to my heart,
Or the blood I couldn't keep within.
So please be patient with me while I heal,
For the wounds you inflicted run deeper than You know,
But I am a survivor and I will emerge stronger Than before.
My whole life,
I have been living within
The limitations.
A paint by the number,
No alterations.
My life,
Stunted
By the ones I loved.
Silence and obedience,
Their only form of love.
They made that truth
Run deep in my blood.
For in the silence,
They could prey
On my innocent love.
Mum's the only phrase
To keep their monsters at bay.
So I stayed silent.
I stayed compliant.
For years,
I found solace in the quiet.
And yet slowly
My courage peeked its head,
Became one with the paper,
And my story not only wept,
It bled.
It bled the truth,
With the words from my pen.
Unlimited by words,
I began.
I wrote of all my pain,
All the hate.
I wrote of my secret loves
And greatest shames.
With the pen I am a giant.
No reason to hide it.
With my words,
I become unlimited.
With my words,
A new world can begin.
A world of my own
Where the silence ends
And my life begins.
There are only so many truths
I can write.
Only so much creativity
Until it runs dry.
How much longer
till my hand reaches the blade?
How much more
Cathartic writing can finally
Keep my mind at bay?
I try to remember
When a busy mind controls a steady hand,
I should be mindful of the tools I put in it,
But I am only so strong.
I hate to admit it.
And yet,
Even now,
I continue to write.
My hand reaches for the pen
And rejects the knife.
Each line is a release,
A release of the pain my mind holds deep.
But there are only so many pages to fill,
Only so much ink to bleed.
One day,
The well will run dry,
And I will plead with myself,
But the page will remain blank,
And my mind will greet the knife
Like it had never left.
A silent surrender
That the scars
Will never let me forget,
And if the words don't come,
Will the blade be the next to speak again?
When words fail,
I will try to seek a different light.
 Jul 29 CJ Sutherland
RJ
My dreams are not soft things
They do not whisper or drift
They crash into me
Like memory
Like loss I never earned but still carry

I see faces I’ve never touched
Eyes that look through me like they’ve known me for lifetimes
Hands that reach
Just as I begin to fall

I wake with stories still unfolding
Mouth half-formed around names that vanish
Chest aching with love
for people I’ve never met outside my sleep

Sometimes I lie still
Eyes open
But not here
Not ready to belong to this body
this room
this gravity

Reality waits
with its empty inboxes and worn-out clocks
It doesn’t ask if I’m okay
It just goes on
as if I didn’t just leave a world that almost felt like home

But I keep waking
Even when it hurts
Even when the dream begs me to stay
Because somewhere in the quiet ache of morning
There’s a sliver of light
A whisper that maybe
what I dream
is a map
not a mistake

And maybe one day
I’ll follow it back
not to sleep
but to something real
that finally feels
like dreaming with my eyes open
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