i

lily in affectionate play
sinks her teeth into me..
she will sit upon my knee
and  a paradiddle

in non conformity
of peaceful means
or general devilry
heralding halloween..

beat a resonant astrix
eternity..
as we celebrate the safe
gathering

of the crops and
consider her
ancient wisdom
knit some socks..

ii

yes,
samhain
is upon us
again..

and marks the
end
of the pagan´ s
sacred

year..where in
the beginning..

we
set an extra
plate for
the dead..

we encouraged
to process
death
and our fear..

we remember our
dead
and the dead
of war..

honor to our
ancesters
a  lament
to summer´ s

end..
the gold of
the gods
shivers..

to the still
of the winter
dream
to be..

iii

lily is bored
she is best ignored
she wants to be adored

and so she will by sun
that adorns her skin
she will wax and in

diamond and pearl
crazy colourings
grow

suddenly say
spread
oil on herself..

indicates
her impossible
pretty

(i will grumble
for
i am working..)

shoulder
and roll a stick
of marijuana

and sundry other
stuff
and that far from

enough and now
the sun has
gone..

behind a cloud
getting loud
fire is out..

lily wears a pout
where has the sun
where is her this

and where is that..
what is she reading
memoirs of a foxhunting man
(siegfried sassoon)

and goodbye to all that
by
robert graves

two great poets from the
first world war
she acclaims..

and carol ann duffy
she is flitting like
a happy

cabbage white
tween the three
waiting for

the light
on the one hand
the death of civilization

and carol´ s fun and dark
determination
between courage and courage

i cream her smooth opal covering
and push a cold mohitjo in her grip
she wonders how life changes

she lights up and picks at the ways
that divide and separate us
just let it rip she sighs..

what choice do we have anyhows
**** hit the fan
what to do..

lily just bit again
she is developing
a kind of cruel sting..

tempered the pain
is sweet her loving
kindness is everything

she says then..
healing and forgetting
is scarred refrain..

lily just bit me
a love bite see
blood all scarlet
gentle her heart
spit and howled
witch caved
eyed red..

i hold her like
a little sleepy
child..
she says
sorry..and
her wild
jungle side
creeps away
leaving us may
coagulated..

i

lily, last night i dreamt
of a thin chord
emerging from
from the roof of my

mouth and the more
i tugged
the more came
more and more..

i stopped and shook
my head to see if
anything had come
loose..

what do you think it means..question..
i had to look for scissors
on a desk that was not
between two girls

comparing lists..
i cut the chord
trailing a few inches
on my tongue..

it was awful..

ii

dreams mean ****
says lily belligerent
i was thinking
rebirth and unbilical

cut..into twin universe
of good and bad
awaking to a planet
with small fuse

remaining..
or just thirst
means ****..
i did drink a lot

for breakfast..
do you think
we should
clean the carpet..

iii

i see it more an
experiment
a question in
perspective
how we live..

what we dream
general themes
white in the fire
ancient desires..

but still in music
stars and ***
in colours
and what else..

i
when some call you pains
lily paints her toes
a frown taken aim
an o blows..

and all the agave wain..
too your heart woes..
take the strain!
my lovely cotton clouds..

i am your swain!
let dvision be so
the silence so loud
the cooling rains!

how many shades of pain
yesterday´ s death throes
distant thundering
a faded stain..


ii

thankyou lily!
that is quite pretty!
a rather intriguing ditty
that sees

the decor of her digits
a plea if only
one for the lotus eaters!
sacked our yesterdays..!

healing through natures way!
this moment be
birth death and rebirth
oh scarlet crow..

and some black toes..
she adds as an after thought
wrinkling her nose
love will heal our heart

next to nature art..astrix
that is time goes
our love caught
in the eternal moment..


astrix..stolen from  i care not where
or the amusing novel by penelope lively..

i

lily says she is the very epitome of sad
her heart distant on some abstract crusade
the pain of man etched in purple braids
hung her black eyes lost to dissolute and
laid out before a death of finite rainbows..
that is just sunday afternoon girlfriend

i say,the cabbage white that circles our head
flutters and settles like the love fades
but will ride smitten the cosmos allows
indestuctable and possible to near..
no further abundant like gods own bow
lily my sister..

ii

all around this blighted globe
people are told to get go
mostly by fear and guilt..

so,
so they went to the new world
so called..

but now on the whole
for the most part
that is ****** too..

the moon is still too far..
hard to say
what to do..

ii


lily the cynical
that explain´s all
nothing explains all..

some brick wall
silence a wail
an ill..

an empty fill
better will
for a while..

a quiet chill
a church aisle
a full sail..

seagulls
tell
wildflowers
bell..

a swallow´s tail
dales
hail

ail..
ai
a

i

lily, what  you do today?
she shrugs non committed-ly
she likes to keep it ray and vague
-try and keep awake..

she stretches and the birds play..
the white dawn approaches..
in the quiet her eyes
roar like a lion on african plain..

since becoming a famous poet-
she adds,i no longer know it-
i have found  instinct
floundering in sea ****..

intuition licked and the
cave blocked
by a great diamond
of black..
a gum shoe without a lead..

hay without a seed
planet without slack..
my brain locked
to the lamppost-
my soul on the rack..!

inspiration an advance check..
an endless parade of drugs
and casual ***..
-but no love..no love..at all..

ii

under the bright light
great sigh of loneliness
hurt like a lost ball
on great oceans..

among a sink of spite
where more is less
a bucket of hurt
breath and that is all

i bail..

lily, why not
a t shirt
heat was hot
an open heart
work would
donkey hut
time stopped..

dear to me
a treasured boot
wait..
white cut
blue eyed
the great truth
an old blanket
said stars about
my own route..

lily,young then!
youth when
a day eternal
a planet suite
how sea blue
how skies blue
how warm bread
nothing all and
not possible..

i


lily with nothing
i take her and enfold
she slides down
and nestles so

a purring kitten
shy and bold
space blown
to everything

a nodding
seed sown
from end
to germinate

from floated
distant spoor
to knocking
death´ s door

off distance
to near
wild core
and here..

ii

i

i got a new chair
a family affair
the other
broken like
a broken heart
on a may evening..

i felt like samson..
it is ten years since
she had cancer..
lily,wilful creature..
i stood ikea..!

ii

i do loathe poetry
until i am ******..
and then i fall in love
all alone..

lily,
and my pen
just flows..
and the next day
ten years gone bye!
flown a lost dove..ah..

iii

with all the rain
the agave fallen
****** puddles
in my room..
bird song
through the nights..

lost count of the tvs
now,we have 5 cats
i read adventure..
to abode beneath
southern climes..in

a somerset maugham yarn!
i have come to like sweeping..
and have nearly forgotten
the little bamboo constructions..
by the sea..

we have one of the noisiest
kettles ever invented by man
it is a real trojan..
or sleeping in the desert
or living in my van by a stream..

drunk and free..
so,i have that chair
a long time..
the new one even worse
but good for one´s posture..
wine was so cheap..
the stars so bright..
i read the russians..
we were bare assed and naked...

the beauty of crete
i was consumed with the
beauty of crete..
their dancing sacred!
we dug holes
surrounded by family
and friends..
i dug holes so
******
so depressed
so beligerently..

but they understood..
if i shewn any sign of recovery
they handed along and down
a bottle of something..
which gave me some thing
like insane..
and we´d be howling and laughing
in no time..going fit to ****..

and for dinner they would feed us
or go to the soup cafe..!
or to say soup kitchen
and then to the cafe
and we get so ******
no one cared
and runnng after
the man..
to get paid and
he has no change
and a way we go again..

i was consumed with the
dazzling mountains
but the villages impossible
too quiet
too ******
time after time..
i always enjoyed wine..
the local style..
ah..the bus rides
so close to death
the silent left
donkey dread..if,
the driver met a friend
we would stop for a drink
and a lot of shouting..
i worked on our gabbage truck
when george had to have his break..
george was our landlord too bless
he gave me a present every day
he would eat half a nut and press
the other half on me..
and come in the room
when he chose..
with a wild scream..
we had a lovely garden..
and frighten everyone..


he did not want a vacation
and to show his disgust
raced in front
and picked up
the garbage..
all his money went
on cognac..
we stopped at
most bars..
and at the end of the shift
we spied on the hippy chicks..
george would get his wheel barrow
and moonlighting..
i would play backgammon..
and do some reading...

thoughts ranged far and far
what comes into one´ s head
salt to a message from god
a happy and a sad star..

i was once myself at war
with myself but i read
brothers,it was a heavy load
four litres of red was par..

i became an actor
i examined the thread
in the wings cold dread
sisters,there..

lines i could not remember
and some that i did
i flipped my lid
what why and where..

and the repetion over
and over my brain bled
i said i said
that or thought more..

so i played my guitar
and never repeated
that was neat
that was linear

hour after hour
so i was a hermit
candle lit
dry core..oh yeah..

ii


lunch


iii

over lunch i chewed
with my few remaning
while glancing in the mirror

and i saw myself
for the first time
as i truly am

and somethings
slid into place
i think they call it

an epithany
i have been trying
of late

through various discipline
and just catching
dissapearing

but memories one
would imagine lost
have come

to explain and
raise further
questions

in my pursuit
of me ..in
knowing oneself
there is taboo

but what to do
but in my reflection
just for a moment..

recognition

i

machines giving order
getting in
closer

twirling over
mother nature
my mind

gets further
from here
o dear..

(marijuana
whispers
centre)

magic is like a stencil
it is simple
y
a question-

(how many beans
make five)
o
seen

in a coal cellar
by midnight
u
a matter

of dismissal-
when imagination
alive
is all..!

coordination-the sound of
one hand
clapping
etc..

when  impossible
is
a fish
on a bicycle

deletion-
the known
universe
and what

remains
a sprinkling
of hundreds
and
thousands

aeons really
when we
used
our minds

before the
obvious
before
once we

understood
a pantheist
reality
we could

fly
we had the
same high
as

we first had
and stayed
that way
a bird

a tree
simple and
beautiful
but magical..

man has lost all trace
of his woman
-a spirit of love
gone!

and in it´s place-
materialism?!
(roman above
athens!)

but in her face
still,a wisdom
and hell
all depends..

may day
yay mad
(ay ay dm..)

mad yay!?
may day
ya ya md-

dam!ayya!!
yam yad....
yad yam...

dya mya
ma da yy..
day may

d a y m a y
d a y m a y
d a y m a y..

me,
again
woke the
morning
(just and only
for me)
the little birds
sang so
merrily
as i staggered
back to
bed to renew
my dreams-
a rather confused
affair
neither here nor
there
a hapless frown
twitched upon
my weary
countenance
mumbled
thing
hit a wall
either up or
down
hard to say and
even harder to
recall but then
when searching
the nether region
came upon   a magnificent
reason..

me,
i spent a good amount
of my adolescence wondering
how it would be

without
sound and/or reflection
(a tricky time)
then in my twenties

came alcoholism
and monetarism
(-lack and
cognac!)

then,
me,
in my thirties-
(it got bad!)

mortality
came a knocking-
(a bad baby and a
kaas souffle..)

they do say-
life it begins at
forty-
(spain and me)

50
what to say
cancer came and
went-
(not me)

sixty one
still on
song
so..

me,
i am normal
i ´ll not
die
to save
the world?!

(or for the love
of a space-girl)neither,
i would rather
eat
than a compliment-

rather than my
toe-
nails pulled
i would sign
on

the dotted line...(that says ouch..!)
my sworn testament,
will verify,
that black is
white,

and white is
black..
front back
normal
like you

freedom of expression
is all well and
dandy
but when

one´s ******
in a vice
mice-elephants
and vice
lies-

-versa
that´s sure
quite normal
i´m sure
(even the threat
suffice-)

lies are normally
just  augmented
truth (or bits left
out..)-
truth is best!

and the best truth
is thank goodness
it is not me..!
as we march off
to war..

i

Melancholy
Is
Come..
Hell
As
Effort
Lies-

Just
Out!
Hues
None­..

ii

melancholia
reverse square
of humour..

melancholic
lightly dark
near yet far..

melancholy
stone wall
can not see..

iv

misunderstanding is bitter jam
says lily
to be spread far and wide
i see what i see..

i am not deluded
but honoured
not a mad man
but puzzled..

monday is a day
in any old way
(not,say a
fray..)
it holds i
like a new baby
like a found stray
(no time to be
like a honey bee)
placates me
like the *** brays
butter on maize
utter a sigh
be blithe!
monday morn

ing
ring
swing
sing
thing
ping..!

most just remember how they wish,
says lily, rather blase,
be it a punch or kiss
(dig up the past

and you are going to get *****..)
you recall the snake
that bit..
surprised me..

how would it seem
to be picked up by
the heels and held up side down
by some giant alien..

perspective in passing
and memory
better have use-
just to be..

******
it is
even a fish

so a spider
too a fly
and

stuff
smaller
than that..

deliberate taking
of
existance

soon
esculate
to the wife

or husband
******
hand

no good
crying
sorry

or god
or contrition
still be

i

music is space
when that is
then we are
happy stars

like lace
or a kiss
hear soar
inspire

some lithe
gaps
a blithe tap
and fire

in but between
near
and far
pat

pat
pat..