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today its vast,
leadlike heaviness,
caught in a web for years,
a river of tears,
knowing not to touch mercury,
never to touch lead,
but all this lumpen, toxic, metal,
here now,
the painful, real circumstances,
a life unravels horrific,
watch the watchmen,  
politicians reliant on  crazy logic,
journeying headlong with coboclos, and shaman bundled and secreted, in rabbit warren, their pronouncements,
She amazed the vastness of the labyrinth, like tendrils that surmounted her, all her lonely long life, her mother, her father, her brothers, her sisters, baby Jesus, God the Father, church, other parents of schoolfriends, the watchmen, hippies, engineers, pretend girlfriend trapdoors, pretend boyfriend trapdoors,watchmen, irish, americans, english, russians, coboblos, shaman, germans, dutch, irish, english, americans, chinese, spanish, portuguese, italians. worldwideweb
one woman  an island, allegedly.  
her strenght from the biggest Daddy the one above,
He sent her his Son ,
He filled her with Love,
she hopes for his return,
others  burn and condemn themselves in the safety of numbers,
they are numbered....
right now, she cannot find hope or love for them ,
she did love when it counted,
all that too is from God.
Christ told his disciples when they asked about demons, to look on the inextinguishable, inexaustable light of God, this is a light worth feasting the eyes on.  I ignored the shadow, got caught in it's whirl, maybe that was meant to be, why it all happened to me, I ignored it, maybe dissociation illness is not an illness, a divine strategy to keep going, despite the pain.
Christ also said be like children, I definitely was naive.
tiny speck of gold,
an insignificant, grain of sand,
realised, it's equal to the land,
how could that be, tumbling wavewashed on shore?
how could so tiny, be deemed much more?
it took a lifetime shoved, and tossed by years,
eroded, polished, in saltwater tears.
Never even daring to dream,
sparkling tiny, in sunlights beam.
A fleck of dust, so small, so low,
how can it contain this sunlight so?

Once fairies said to a little girl,
"the truth, can bring you to our world,
we in fairy can be met,  let truth ring like a bell."
Believing their story, remembering well,
a speck of gold, caught in giant golden hive,
which entered the room, lying down on its side.
Cogs moved and whirred,
lifted this vessell up,
an insignificant, tiny head, bowed down,
two angels, one  placed a medalion, another a crown.

Returning to earth with invisible, otherworld treasure,
pushed aside by the men, snided down by their measure.
Her little heart buzzed, like a bee aloud,
mood altering peace, floated high on a cloud,
been swatted, and hurt before and then,
karmically bound, to unravelling men.
They hit out at small, they trample it down,
those haughty sunflowers, came tumbling down,
sat amongst grasses  crushed,
down and trampled,
bending and blowing
tho' eternally growing,
throughout all lifes storms, never fully broke,
ribbon of grass stronger than windfallen oak.

Fairytales are true,
if only men knew,
they definitely would not, do the things, that they do.
It's never too late to learn,
how to avoid infrared, radiation burn,
funnelled and furnaced in a cosmic dance,
never dare leave destiny, to luck and chance.
I don't know why it happened this way. I'm not versed or educated in poetry other than the fact I love to read poetry, I have not a clue of the rules, just writing to blank my mind from too man -y thoughts
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   I   '   m
  n   o   t
   f u s e d ;
  M a y  b e
   a    l   i   t   t   l  e
   c   o   n   f   u   s  e  d  .
  I ' ve    s  t  i  l  l    g  o  t
  a    l  o  t   o f   f  i  g  h  t
  l   e   f   t     i    n    m   e ;
  I ' ve    s  t  i  l  l    g  o  t
a   l o  t   o f   l i g h t
   l   e   f   t     i    n
    m  e . . . . .
Edison did not just invent the bulb;
He created a bright future by not giving up.

Last night I thought I would never get up. But here I am today.
Its not falling that scares me; What scares me is never wanting to get up again!
another arrow in my back,
I have a quiver full ,
when I meet the enemy at the gate,
relentless, persistent, on my back hate,
right here, right now, they are legion,
don't want to be a member of their club,
embarrassed for them,
that they could stoop so low
deep breath in, belly full,  
release, long and  slow,
got to do a lot more weeding,
it's easier now,
I'm no longer needing,
affection,
an earthly love,
hardened fist,
in a velvet glove,
is all I ever got,
my expanding love,
still knows no bounds
trust only God,
a theory most sound.
Qed
I don't need affection from his bag of bones
spiritual love is already here
prays, rosaries and self care
no longer seeking no longer believe
I forgive wrong doers,
because I realise love is eternal,
what ever his guile, I've learnt this lesson>
I found Christ
I guess that was the golden prize
this illusion will pass, my spirit will rise.
  Oct 2020 Rachel Lady Durand
Brett
Whether sunrise or sunset
Autumn leaves or sundress
The party always seems like one less

Whether rain falls or snow rests
Your beauty escapes no breath
The party always seems like one less

Whether dark days bring deep stress
Your loves what keeps this pen wet
The party always seems like one less

Whether hearts break or re-mesh
Your soul is my weakness
This party just isn’t the same without your sweetness
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