Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
May 2017 · 2.8k
Paranoia
Andrew Rueter May 2017
I am me
Until I am not
In the eyes of those who aren't me
Their perception of my ulterior motives pierces
every joke, compliment and remark
I attempt to burrow out of my chamber and into their's
But I find only confusion
Did anybody notice or care?
And if they did
Did they care about me?
Or the facade I built to buffer honesty?
Disgust is spelled on the faces of those forced into proximity
They view me as the canary in the coal mine of their life
Their contempt shocks stillness into me
Could we go back to pretending I'm human?
Are they putting salt in the wound to preserve it?
Or am I the remnants of a wasted youth?
Or a constant reminder of failure?
Do I help lower the bar to their own self worth?
Maybe I'm just paranoid
Is what I tell myself
To feel better
And I can drive down back roads all my life
But that won't erase the shame I feel of the car I drive
People sense my deviations and act accordingly
Their words spray like a flamethrower
Scorching my defenseless heart
And although my sympathy goes out to the innocent civilians
who were also hurt
I was mortally wounded
The well just continued to get deeper
I am haunted by what lies underneath
Afraid any passing archaeologist will dig it up
And share his discovery with the world
Then where will I hide?
May 2017 · 1.7k
Dreams
Andrew Rueter May 2017
I spent my life in empty blooming fields
The indifferent magic of life married me to complacency
Until I was cursed...
Cursed with light
A light that blinded me
While simultaneously illuminating the monstrous abyss

On the first night I dreamt of you
You were the King of All That Lasted
Ants of wisdom marched to your orders
You were covered in tattoos; simple little circles that
marked your entire body
You explained every circle represented a different moment in your life
"What does that one mean?"
"That's the day I met you."

On the second night I had a nightmare I had a dream about you
In my nightmare I couldn't convince myself the dream was just a dream
I'd be awake and know it was a dream
But in the dream it feels so real
I begged my local Illuminati to put more fluoride in the water
To no avail
There is nowhere to run in my dreams

On the third night I had a nightmare
I was watching meteors rain out in space
Although it was beautiful I couldn't help but think, "Why aren't they hitting us?"
And then a meteor crashed into Earth
I guess that's how dreams work
Or at least mine that is
When I think I should die I always do
And then I wake up
Did I mention I couldn't move as I watched my world explode?
May 2017 · 4.7k
Donald Trump
Andrew Rueter May 2017
Through the fog of disenfranchisement he emerges
Gold watch, Gold rings, Gold hair, Lead heart
He has the resources...
He knows the secret to making money
He must know how I can make that money
So I can finally be happy
As happy as I was before I knew I needed money
Unless the secret of making money is me not having it
He has the influence...
Over those with crumbling foundations of knowledge
And foreclosed homes of empathy
Their situation is dire
They need someone to admire
What channels will this river of adulation lead to, though?
Their minds sneak across the borders of fear
into paranoia
Their hearts scale the walls of love
into hatred
He has the power...
The Botanist tells the customer that the flower is actually a ****
And he must **** it
There are Bedouin villagers who know nothing of the outside world
Except for our bombs
Will the sounds of love be heard over our tanks and guns?
He has no control...
No control of the thoughts of those that live
in the shadows of uncertainty
No control over the brotherhood all men share despite our differences
He is not the sun
And time waits for nobody
And misery finds everyone no matter what
And you can burn the witch at the stake of your fears
But her banshee screams will unleash the titan of retribution
Through all this hatred
Love will save us, right?
Or is love what led us here?
May 2017 · 1.1k
Immortal
Andrew Rueter May 2017
I am the immobile immortal
I pervade the Earth with my emptiness
People search for happiness only to find me
People gaze to the skies for love but only see my indifferent eyes
I show them futility
I show them despair
When it becomes too much people seek me to rescind their pain
But it's only rearranged
It fills the eyes of those that love with silver linings
Humans see stars die in the sky and are filled with wonder and awe
Yet here on Earth death fills hearts with misery and contempt
I inspected a graveyard to admire my work
Time had eroded the epitaphs on the tombstones
Their last beautiful words faded like their final threads of love
Except for one grave...
It read, "I Will Always Love You"
But somebody had crossed that out and wrote
Only Death is Immortal
May 2017 · 1.1k
Float
Andrew Rueter May 2017
I drown under the weight of what floats
Yes, what floats...
What floats through the air when you look at me
What floats through my mind when you smile
And what floats through my dreams while I sleep
You float through my life
The way Earth floats through space
And space floats through time
And time floats into the unknown
All the more excruciating considering
Earth, space, time, and the unknown are what complicate our situation so much
I try to vocalize your essence
But my words come across as saccharine
They do not touch your brilliance
Because you float against the current
So I must swim
Swim to find my way to you
So we can float together
Until then though...
I must float to keep from drowning
I must swim to keep from floating
Yet I drown to keep from swimming
You're my trumpet in the dark
I hear your horn leagues under the water
Yet when I reach out to touch you
Nothing is there...
Nothing is here...
I see disappointment and hatred floating near you
I see regret and shame floating on the horizon
So I float here...
And drown under the weight of what floats
May 2017 · 4.1k
Pizza
Andrew Rueter May 2017
Pizza is my life
I started out as dough with doughy eyes
Mother picks me up
Mother molds me
After no time at all I'm sent down the line
Toppings...
Things other people want but I get
By the end the toppings are as important as the dough
Sometimes I wonder if there was any dough to begin with
Because the foundation is changed so much by the fires of the oven
The chaos makes me steam, bubble, and boil
Once I simmer down I'm recognizable as what I should be but not what I once was
Now that I'm developed it's time to be delivered into the world
And find my own home
But what will I find when I get there?
Will it be love?
Or will I be ate up and shat out?
Or is there a difference?
Can be found in my self published poetry book “Icy”.
https://www.amazon.com/Icy-Andrew-Rueter-ebook/dp/B07VDLZT9Y/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Icy+Andrew+Rueter&qid=1572980151&sr=8-1

— The End —