I was told
that if a person is kind
others will appreciate
their kindness

I therefore cannot understand
why the response to my kindness
is not appreciation
but unkind bullying

I wonder what I am doing wrong

she watches
the raindrops
gently landing
on her skin
she is not afraid
of the rain
as she knows
that the sun
will soon
shine again

How shall I concentrate when all these images
move past my eyes like on a never-ending conveyor belt:
   Lips so red and eyes so tempting
   ******* so full and so inviting
   Luring you away from me
   Smiles that promise much
   But mean so little
   And a voice as sweet as Lorelei
   Come into my arms delicious boy
   And I see you fall
   I see you fall
   Passionately fall for it…
   Lips so red and eyes so tempting
   ******* so full and so inviting
   Luring you away from me
   Smiles that promise much
   But mean so little
   And a voice as sweet as Lorelei
   Come into my arms delicious boy
   And I see you fall
   I see you fall
   Passionately fall for it…
   Lips so red and eyes so tempting
   ******* so full and so inviting
WHY IS THERE NO SWITCH ON THIS CONVEYOR BELT?

black coffee
strong coffee
bewitching smell
seductive taste
hopeful promise
happy me

try these brambles
she said
I picked them
this morning
when I went for
a walk

I looked at the
black berries
in her hand
hesitant
as I had never eaten
such berries before

when I saw her smile
I could not resist
I ate a bramble
and to my surprise
it tasted like spring
and fresh air

She likes to talk to him
but he does not listen.

She has so much to tell him
but he does not want to know.

She now decides to write
because he might prefer reading.

Love seems to come in cycles for me
Two years ago it was him
And now it is you

But you are different and much kinder
And yet when I look into your eyes
I know you are also the same
And I anticipate you leaving me

You look so vulnerable
Having fallen asleep on the chair
I would like to kiss you
But I know you are dreaming of her

yes
no
maybe

dog
walk
joy

I want to change
my life
she says
but I do not know
where to begin

so she takes
a deep breath
and decides
to continue
with her old life

going home tonight
overcrowded train
outside windy, dark and cold
inside just the same

yesterday
seems so close
tomorrow
is so near
today
does not make sense

I shall leave you
if you do not stop
acting like a child
he shouts.

She stops and thinks
and then doubles
her efforts
to act like a child.

Have you ever imagined
what it would be like
to walk with me
to the top of the volcano?
She asks and smiles.

When he looks at her
with burning desire
she quickly adds:
But it will not happen
because there are
no volcanoes
where we live.

I would like to talk to you
but I do not know how

I would like to say I am sorry
but I cannot find the right words

So I need to be silent and hope
that you can do better than I

It must be hard
to smile
he says
when everybody
wants you to fail.

But your smile
is more beautiful
he adds
because you know
what they expect.

I watch him
choosing flowers.

He concentrates
on the task
as he has decided
to express
his love for her
by choosing
the right flowers.

I am deeply worried
that he might fail.

We moved with ease in hyper reality  
Laughing and joking with each other
And feeling light and comfortable
When gently pushing out the boundaries
Into a new world previously unknown to us
With every conversation our hopes and desires increased
Until we made the move into reality

thoughts
dreams
confusion

impatiently
he looked at her
stop complaining
and make a decision

taken aback
by his lack of kindness
she made the decision
to leave him

You want me
to be your soul mate
your friend
who is always there
when you are
in trouble

But you do not want me
to be your lover
your muse
who gives you joy
when you are
happy and relaxed

Why can I not be both

giddiness
why
not

morning
awakening
hope

Walking through the park
Watching children running past
Sunrays kiss my face

a white blanket of snow
covers the cobbled street
there are no cars
there are no people
only stillness and serenity

SHE
looking into the distance
dreaming of happiness
and love

HE
looking at her
not understanding
her silence

ME
sensing
the end

I am angry and annoyed
As I have finally understood
That my own weakness
Had made it possible
For others to hurt me

At the same time
I am happy and delighted
As I have also understood
That my newly gained strength
Makes it possible
For others to love me

You want me to be your friend
Someone you can tell
What pains you suffer
because of her

I want you to be my lover
Someone I can tell
What pleasures I desire
because of you

Our paths will never cross

You need calmness
she says
and smiles.

How can I be calm
I ask
when I have
so much to do.

You need calmness
she explains
to decide
what you need to do
so that you can reduce
what you have to do.

red wine
white wine
you & I

writing to my friend
connecting with pen and joy
happy is my soul

she sits on the floor
crosslegged
trying to calm
her mind
as her thoughts
repeatedly return
to the window
a window
battered
by the storms of life - her life
a window
nearly closed
with the gap
slowly but steadily
getting narrower and narrower
soon it will be too narrow
for her soul
to slip through
into a better and happier world
all she needs to do
is to get up
and open the window

will she?

Sometimes I am not sure
whether I am in the past
or in the present
I look at you
You still seem to be the same
and yet
I do not recognise
the man I am looking at

I am looking at it
but I do not
recognise it.

I am touching it
but its texture
is unknown to me.

I am smelling it
but its scent
is foreign to me.

I listen to it
but its sound
means nothing to me.

I talk to it
but realise
how foolish
that is.

white
lie
why

The difference between you and me is
that
I have forgiven him
but
you have not forgiven her

moving
forgetting
empowering

I want to run away to
a place
where nobody knows me
a place
where everybody is kind
and understanding
a place
where nobody is concerned
about difference
a place
where I can be me.

golden moon and stars
cats are out on nightly walks
dreams of warmth and love

lightening
thunder
summer

You did not believe me
When I said
cyberspace is a dangerous place
You asked
how does it differ from writing a letter
I did not know the answer
and followed you
Now we are both bruised - me badly

rain
enchantment
Scotland

Tim left Anne for a younger woman
Pete left Chris for a younger man
Eve left Louise for a younger woman
Sue left Joe for a younger man
You left me for a younger woman

Why?

you will never catch me
the butterfly says
opens her wings
and flies away
leaving him behind
disappointed and sad

I want to make
a difference
the poet said
and began to write about
love and acceptance
understanding and caring
encouraging trust and support
and a commitment to help

I can see
how hard you try
to hurt me

I can also see
that trying to hurt me
hurts you more
than it hurts me

Why don’t you just stop...