tomorrow
anticipation
hope

should I stop writing
the poet wonders
would it make a difference
if I did something else instead
could I then help to make
the world a better place

think
decide
do

I want to make
a difference
the poet said
and began to write about
love and acceptance
understanding and caring
encouraging trust and support
and a commitment to help

stop
breathe
restart

impatiently
he looked at her
stop complaining
and make a decision

taken aback
by his lack of kindness
she made the decision
to leave him

happy new year
she smiles
happy new year
she sings
happy new year
she hopes

you have to find
your own voice
he said to me
but he did not tell me
where to start looking

she wonders
what she
might do
if she had
no fear

she thinks
hard and
concentrated
taking her time
to understand
her deepest
desires

after some while
she smiles
picks up
a pen and
begins
to write

they want me
to fail
they wish me
bad luck
they look down
at me
and laugh
at me
and what do I do
I do even better

it is late
and I cannot sleep

I thus decide
to stay awake
and not to worry
that it is late

red leaves
yellow leaves
gently swaying
in the wind
dark blue sky
golden sunshine
a perfect
autumn painting

I do not need you
you do not need me
it is time to depart

candles
cakes
cosiness

days are getting short
trees are changing colour
cosy is my home

tea
cake
break

I want to change
my life
she says
but I do not know
where to begin

so she takes
a deep breath
and decides
to continue
with her old life

mother
child
harmony

rain
sunshine
change

yes
no
maybe

barren fields and trees
I have lost my ikigai
empty is my soul

she sits on the floor
crosslegged
trying to calm
her mind
as she cannot decide
whether she really
is a poet
or just imagining
to be a poet

her life
has become
meaningless
and full of
boredom

but maybe
her life
never had any
meaning and
excitement

looking
at her life
she notices
her constant
fear to engage

I look at her
and realize
that she cannot decide
when it is appropriate
to stop supporting others
and begin supporting herself

tomorrow will bring
a new and better day
she thinks full of hope
and decides to fall asleep

late at night
and cold
sitting up in bed
awake
loud and doubtful
thoughts

dog
walk
joy

thoughts
dreams
confusion

“you have not”
she looks at me surprised

“I have”
is my reply

“but you are just not the type of person
who writes poems”
she exclaims

you urge me
to let go of my fears
to be myself  and
live my dreams

I wonder
if you would still love me
if I really was myself
and not just your idea of myself

she looks at
the vivid sunset
and realises
that him leaving her
was a good outcome

we have to go back
to normal
he says

do you mean
my normal or your normal
she asks

celebrating fall
yellow leaves and misty sky
warmth and love at home

moving
forgetting
empowering

blue scarf
red scarf
yellow scarf
expressions of
joy and happiness
worn by me
dancing with you

kindness
caring
you

night
sleep
healing

when I was a child
I knew
what I needed
to do
to become a painter:
paint

as I grew up
my power of doing
was replaced by fear
and I stopped painting

why is helping her
not good for her
he asks in despair

I feel sorry for him
as he cannot see
that helping her
destroys her growth

green tea
black tea

always for you
and never for me

why was he
allowed to do the project
but I was not

why was he
given the job
but I was not

why does he
live in a big house
but I do not

why do I
not want to know
the answers
to these questions

every morning
she makes coffee

carefully grinding the beans
has become a ritual
time spent in meditation
on a journey she had not expected

when there are no beans left
in the grinder
she sighs
as reality has caught up with her

sunshine
you
perfect

happiness at last
dancing in the rain and mist
smiling at the moon

I want to paint
but I have no colours

I want to write
but I cannot find my pen

I want to sing
but I lost my voice

I want to run away
but I do not know where it is safe

So I do nothing
and everything stays the same

“Good Morning!”
She smiles.

“Good Morning!”
He frowns, irritated that
he was disturbed when tweeting.

will you wait
he asks

maybe
she answers

chocolate
wine
coping

leaves are turning red
birds are on their journey home
distant sense of joy