If I could gather all my energy , like a lightning bolt, one thousand degrees                                                          ­                                                         I'd send it your way ASAP, then I'd pull you right into me                                                               ­                                                        Light a million fires till you say, a real I love you, everyday                                                         ­                                                     make you look me in the eyes ,look into my soul                                                             ­                                                            warm up your heart that has grown cold

I just came from the cafeteria. In a shocking twist,
I have to actually meet people, I mean, can you imagine?
And we have group projects, my least favorite thing,
except perhaps, having a gym class.

The cafeteria was so crowded—didn’t I see you there?

Everyone there seemed to be wearing vintage Urban Outfitters.
I felt left out, but no one openly pointed at me.

Next, I expect to see bubblegum patch vests, skate-fit jeans and leopard-appliqué flats.

Between us, I’ve gotten old, and lost what little fashion game I had.
Now I’m modulated, that is, I’m over over-indulgence.

When I pictured myself in college, ***, what, a half a decade ago?
I imagined myself in a Lime Fizz Dress from Modcloth.
THAT never happened—which is all for the good.

School and by extension - school work - is definitely happening.
It’s not all studying while drinking back-to-back espressos at sunrise.

This week’s assignments due are: a ‘reflective assignment’ on qualitative research methods, a policy memo, a case analysis, and a group presentation. Argh.

So if you don’t hear from me—I haven’t been deported—I’m just oppressed.
.
.
Songs for this:
This is Why by Paramore
Lauren by Men I Trust
Margaret by Pomegranate tea [E]

Are you really doing it this time?
This time, are you really going to leave me,
Because I need someone who deserves me,
Who treats me better than you.

I don't want that,
I doubt you do either.
Please don't follow through,

I need you.

The choking vines of the wine yard,
Wrap around the souls of the somber.
Staring off into space,
While a chemical feeling seals their fate.

Do they feel happy yet?
Something more than the happiness they lost,
Was it right, to push love away?

In replacement they have a craving,
A welcomed feeling of demanding.
Their kisses curdle into bites,
Ripping chunks out of who they love,
Tearing holes into their head.

I'll show you how the world burns,

It comes in simply steps,

An effigy,
An idea to hold on to,
A sacred symbol,

A **** good convincer.

I can't be everything,
I can't be major general Truth,
So I'm sorry I destroyed it,
I'm sorry I turned my back on the people who read me through,
I think I would disappoint,
The people who inspired me,
If they saw the spires burning,
With the match laying in my hand.

as a kid we can't wait to grow up
we want to explore the world
cause nobody wants to explain with words

afraid to crash you down

so I got to be strong
cause I can't wait this long
I figured it out myself
and found the darkest place
and now need space
cause I’m falling in this phase people call it "youth"

Almost there

now I’m past halfway
3 years holding me back
and every day feels like a trap

It doesn't matter what I say,
You won't read it anyways.
But you don't hurt me,
You make me happy.
What makes me unhappy isn't you,
It's when you push me away,
Please stop icing me out.

Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                     Pushkin the Poetic Cat

Long, lean, and lanky, he slithers like a snake
In blue-grey fur; he makes the mousies quake

But I haven’t seen him in several days
He roams the woods and fields, he hunts, he strays

He’s proud and brave, my handsome Russian Blue -
Did he cross claws with a treacherous Chartreux?

Did they exchange hisses at just ten paces
Does his little corpse lie in wild snowy spaces?

I hope his life hasn’t ended like that
For I very much miss my dear little cat