Day 1: I want to tear my skin off. My heart is beating so fast i can barley breathe. I feel so filthy.
Day 2: I can't believe this. I don't want to be here. Why did this happen? Why did I let this happen?
Day 5: I guess I drank too much and my friends were to drunk to stop me.
Day 10: I can't face my friends, I can't live my life.
Week 3: No one knows. He hasn't said a word.
Week 6: It happened again, I was sleeping and he did it again. Why did I stay the night? Why didn't I go straight home?
Week 7: He left and kissed me goodbye. I don't know how to feel.
Week 10: My life's out of control, I can't believe whats happening.
Month 5: My boyfriend knows. But not all details. Just thinking about it, makes me want to take a shower.
Month 8: I finally came clean to my friends. They're appalled. They hate him now. I still feel filthy. I can't get his smell off my body still.
Month 11: The anniversary is soon. What am I going to do?
Year 1: I haven't spoken to him in months. I haven't thought about it in days. I still feel as if hes on top of me, why can't I wash him away?

Its an uphill battle with myself and others. Some days I can't get out of bed or even feel like breathing.
But I try not to let him get to me. Because if he sees my weakness from what hes done,
He's won.

My bedsheets are soaked in memories and emotions
A stain of blood there, some drips of tears there,
A warm imprint of people who once held each other there
I put them in the wash, but they don't seem to come out

Don't make me your residue
I am no longer with you
If you remember, 5 months ago you scrubbed me off
Don't continue living in me like an empty useless loft

I thought about driving my car into a tree tonight
these words in my head, when they come out they don't come out right
i wish i had the guts to ask you if you still love me
or if you ever loved me
you don't know what you do to me
i wonder if you did, would you want anything to do with me?

i can never love someone
as much as i do you,
and i am *******
*terrified

"Back away." she said.
"My heart is dark, and my mind is no Eden,
I can't let you in, its a place occupied by my demons."

He blinked, startled at her words.
She blinked, surprised at the smile on his face.

"Come closer." he said.
"My heart is ablaze, and in my mind resides hell.
It will be the perfect place for your demons to dwell."