I walk the halls and glance at everyone I see,
The girls who are hurrying to the bathroom to fix their makeup,
And the boys who check them out as they walk by.

Is there anyone else here who can't go to the bathroom, because I swear to God just the thought of it gives me a small panic attack.
Is there anyone else here who looks down and is disappointed everyday because I am small, chesty and my face is far too round.

I never check out the girls, nor do I run to the bathroom to fix myself,
I walk and look at how much I wish I was one of the guys,
Flat chested, tall, lean and not having to wake up 5 extra minutes to put on a binder.
Never hating that their voice along with their round face will have others calling them "She" for their whole life.

Never will they come home with aching ribs,
and feel the stab of being misgendered.
Never will they be told "but you still look like a girl,"
Even though you are trying so hard that you feel your mind wearing thin.
Why can't I just be what they want me to be?

Often he feels as if he killed her. she was a daughter, a sister, niece, granddaughter, Aunt and a girlfriend.
No longer is she any of those things because she became him.
Now he is a son, brother, nephew, grandson, uncle and boyfriend.
She left behind a life for him, a life he now lives.
He lived inside her for too long and now he is free but many still see him as he used to be.
They see him as her but he is not her, he is just him.
So now he feels trapped, how could he explain that he is not her?
It's like her stole her life and who she used to be, which leads him to often believe that he killed her.

December 17th 1998 the doctors say "congratulations, it's a girl"
I do not know what I am

5 years old I am at preschool
I ask "why don't they wear dresses?" pointing to the boys I get an answer that boys don't wear dresses
I don't want to wear dresses, can I be a boy?

Elementary school the boys play football and tag at recess, the girls talk about the cute boys, their hair and their outfits.
I want to play football with the boys but I sit alone on the swings watching the boys.
I wish I were a boy

Middle school the girls are wearing bras and the boys are getting deeper voices. My voice doesn't get deeper but my chest grows, I try to push it back but it doesn't work. My sister want to put makeup on me and have me dress in girly clothes.
But I feel like a boy stuck as a girl

Highschool I learn the word transgender. I cry because I'm not alone. I find out about binders and order one. It comes it the mail, I put it on and put on my most masculine clothes. I already have short hair but I put on a beanie. I look like a boy. I feel like a boy.
I am a boy

The name my mother gave me is not mine. Phoenix sounds right for me. A new beginning, a new life. I will make a boy out of this body.

I'm 15 and scared to tell my family. Over the years in my head I know I am a boy but my body tells me differently. I tell my family that I am a boy. I'm scared and they don't say anything about it. Maybe they think if they don't say anything it will go away. But I am a boy

I tell my teachers and they call me he instead of she. I feel like me. Other students call me a girl but can't they see I am a boy

I go to a store and get called sir, they see me as a boy, I look in the mirror and finally see me.

A boy

Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair,
I can't, I cut it all off.
I don't want that glass slipper either
I'd rather have some combat boots.
I don't want to see the world like Jasmine,
I want to see equality.
Ariel wanted legs but
I want the right body.
Beauty and the Beast,
How about beauty and the trans?
True loves kiss won't wake me from this nightmare,
one simple letter will T.
They call me princess
but I am the prince.
I am not the damsel in distress
because I am the knight in shining armor.
Born a princess but becoming a king.
I am a princess without the S's

My voice
Was the highest soprano in the choir
And I was well past puberty.
My chest may never be
As flat as yours,
My shoulders will always be
Slimmer and daintier,
My waist tucks in and allows for
Hips,
Hips that make me cringe with every ******* breath
Some days.

I will never have
That bulge between my legs
That you so wrongly call manhood.

I lack the things you tell me
Make someone a boy,
And sometimes I even lack the guts
To disagree with you;
But **** if that makes it alright to throw me in gutters,
Beat me up behind smokey dive bars,
Yell at me on the city bus,
Take away my ******* humanity.

Because I am a boy.
I am a ******* human.

This is the story my body tells...
A story of struggles marked with scars.
A page of freckles from the sun kissing my skin.
Cracks and snaps from the past breaking me down.
Every breath tells my body that my binder is there.
My body tells what I was born as but is becoming what I am.
In a mirror my body shows eyes that have seen so much.
Lips that have spoken many regrets but many accomplishments.
Ears that have heard too much but sometimes not enough.
In a mirror my body tells a deep story.
My stomach houses the scar from a box too sharp.
My fingers grasp the rope so tight that keeps me above the water.
My body tells a story but my mind a deep tale.

What my body needs to say...
"Relax, things won't always be this way."
"...But what if they are?"
"Then we get through it. Our feet still walk where we need to go, our eyes still see the sun, our ears still listen and hear the positivity above the hate...relax, our skin feels the sun and the touch or him, and our lips can still smile. I promise, I'm becoming you just give me some more time. These scars will fade and become a distant memory but our journey will not end. You're okay, we're okay.. just hold on a little longer."