You may not have been birthed in the soil,
and granted,
you will not blossom
when spring melts winters wake
but inside of you
grows a thousand gardens
full of exploding stars.
You are of the earth
and your ashes
have been constructed with stardust,
and set free with the wind.
So you may not have a pretty face,
and your body may hold stories
of too many moonless nights alone.
But if you reach inside,
you will find a forest
for a ribcage
and a restless ocean heart.
So don't ever let anyone tell you
you are nothing.
You are a galaxy
holding a million different planets,
and my dear,
that is not nothing.

Hope blazes within my veins,
between the broken and the unspoken.
Maybe something will change-
to finally go my way for once.

Too many nights I've sat
on this queen dreaming
of the day I'd finally live.
Hoping that the hands
of this beautiful thing
called life will fall into mine.

It has made my world
a darker place.
Creating savages of demons
clawing at me in the night.
I'd wake up from faces
of the enemies that can't be seen.

But it's different now.
There's this light
One I haven't seen in a while.
Filled with promises and adventure,
smells of roses and wet rain on a pavement.

I can almost touch it and right now I can tell you,
I'll run for years until I get there.
Because this is what I want.
I want to live before I get the chance to die.

I am worth more than a look.

I am worth more than a glance.

I am worth, more.

I have limbs, and flesh, and blood.
I have a heart, I have a brain.

Maybe those things don't always work properly,
but I am worth more
than a sorrowful observation.

Don't you dare tell me I'm not,
because I am
worth
something.

I know I am not perfect,
but I am
worth
something
more
than a single look.

My body, my mind, my spirit are all so incredible.

I am worth more than a look.

La La La LA LA my mind is too LOUD
& it's an annoying distraction
It's stirring up a pretty thick cloud
Restlessness is taking over my attention
Blank stares are all my face shows
Deep into my thoughts I get stuck
BUT...that's how it always goes
it's just my wonderful luck
I am an unlucky Irish
& there sure isn't a genie around to grant my wish
My mind's explorer has too many tabs open & their "X" box to close isn't showing
No doubt the system will have an overload
I don't like the way this is going
With a lockdown in process, we're going to be in safe mode
GREAT, now popping up a message stating there's an error report
No GEEK squad could fix this mess
Don't even bother calling tech support
It's just an unfixable issue I confess
& it distracts me frequently from whatever I am doing
Good thing sanity isn't something I wanted to achieve
It will always be chaos, jumbled words & thoughts just brewing
Just occasionally, here & there, that some very needed silence I can receive
It's a place I don't go to play pretend
Too crowed & constantly a wonky massive amount of cluttering
Frustrating as being in a labyrinth with no end
Repetitive & out loud, sentence & words are what I am muttering
But I am far, far, far from crazy
I'm just distracted & on a mission inside my head
& I only seem like I'm kind of lazy
But if I don't complete this task, words & thoughts are forgotten, dusty & unsaid
So I do apologize
I tend to get lost between leaving & returning to reality
From time to time you may encounter me with eery, vacant eyes
.....a mix up between those though would sure weaken my stability
...so please excuse me if I seem to emotionlessly stare
Right through you like freshly windexed glass
Because honestly, I never once knew you were there...
You vanished in my path as you pass
Dealing with constant noise can be quite extreme
Like shouting for help but without a voice & remaining unheard
For a split second, a rare moment my mind may be clear & clean
Then flooded without warning, just a thought or hearing a word
Ideas to write all about are popping up everywhere
No pen or papers, useless ideas if they're forgotten
& sometimes they're really good & worth a chance to share
But sorting words & lost in brain waves happens way too often
Never relieved for break
Wish a silent corner I could temporarily find
Just a minute or two rest, such a difference it'd make
...WELL...DO YOU MIND???

When I was a speck of dust, I rolled through school halls
All the different looking people and the emotion their faces held.

         No longer a speck, I was a dust bunny now.
People picked me up with their shoes
           That's how I saw the world.
I've seen the greenest grass and the whitest clouds.
          I've seen the beasts of the universe.
I've flown with the birds, and crawled with the ants.
   Then swept up I was, and into the trash.

What I am most fearful of, is waking up in the middle of the night, not being able to move. Being paralyzed. Only being able to move my eyes.
      
        I am terrified of the dark, or maybe not that, it could be the things that are found in the darkness. Imagine waking up in your 160 year old house, with ancient doorknobs that have apertures only a skeleton key could fit, finding out that the door is locked. How? You are inside your room and yet the door is locked, who locked you in, how did they lock you in? Your eyes might water but before you cry you will pound on the door. There is no response.

           But wait, you are now paralyzed again and still you can move nothing but your eyes. Your only hope is that the morning will come soon and the sun will shine through your windows. What seems like an hour, passes. You are able to twist your head to the side. The clock says 2:04 am. You wait and wait, but surely ten minutes pass and the clock still says 2:04 am and now your head is stuck looking at the clock and you are scared you are so scared, and the door, you can hear someone put a key in your door, the **** turns and the door swings open, something forces your body to jolt up, you look at the door and all that is there, is.....darkness.

       That is what I am terrified of.