'Thats true self harm' she said
proud and self announced
like she could comprehend the universe
and that it left her no challenges

that in her 50 years, she had learnt all people
all feelings
all possibilities
and could now group us all like colours in a jar

i left, because it hurt
to think that after everything i go through to explain
the simpleness of 'some people'
discounts all the effort

there is no wrong and right way to hurt yourself
there is only a future
which we endeavour to make hurt less

She is on a different plane now,
no longer a caged bird,
she sings,
flying
into greater realms
& I am sure
making the same,
if not,
a bigger impact
on her kin,
the other immortals.

all it takes is their name

and a rush of reckless memories ravage your brain,

a surge of swirling emotions shoot through your veins.

These lines didn't exorcise you.
I'm followed.
I need protection.
Get a crucifix tattoo.
Draw curtains, let
The daylight through.
Whittle stakes.
Move your...  my ashes to my landfill.
Drink ***** and holy water.
Cross lit candles behind the cobwebs.
Fashion my ring into a silver bullet.
Pinch and pitch them down the toilet.

Mammy knew the five second rule
Long ago:
"Don't worry. You'll
Eat a ton of dirt before you die."
Now I wonder on dirt's composite:
I swear I'll die talking *******.

I wish we could be
alone more
Yiska said
we sat looking across

the playing field
school in the distance
modern building
glass and brick

and concrete
me too
I said
the sun allowed us this

if it had rained
we would not
have been here
sitting on the field

we'd be stuck inside
the hall
kicking our heels
or classrooms

doing puzzles
or games in boxes
boys kicked *****
girls sat talking

in groups
loud laughter
there are always eyes
out here

she said
tongues wag
gossip starts
I dreamed of you

last night
I said
I dreamed we were alone
in my room

side by side
in my bed
I wish I shared
that dream

she said
I dreamed
of my mother
and her low mood

and her moaning
about my room
and the untidiness
and she jabbing

my back
with each word
some boy scored a goal
between coats

on the field
and boys yelled
what did we do?
she asked

leaning closer
when?
I said
in your dream

she said
I don't know
I said
I woke up

and left the dream
in my head.