Wringing my hands
Whistling to no tune in particular
Wrestling my ego

And I’m losing
Badly
It ***** me up
Every single time
I’m onto something
Something legit
It gets in the way
Bosses me around
Screws me over and over again
Whispers nonsense in my ear
Derails my flawless plans
Turns people away from me
Makes me despicable

But if it taught me anything
Anything at all
Is that you should always keep going
Always
No matter the odds

So here I am
Still wrestling
Won't give up

But for some cruel jest are not we all perennially ailing…
Are not our lives just pictures passing by?
We, blindfold, in their wake are trailing,
Are hardly ourselves… And at the best of times
We solely hope yet for another handout
At someone’s twisted mercy and before
We ever realise it’s us we cede so freely
It’s far too late… We sob and try no more.

Shall not we fight, defiant, our doubts and envy?
Shall not we hold the fastest to our dreams?
And from our deepest selves shall not we draw our powers
When all is lost and there’s no life within?

It’s down to us to down the cup we’re given.
There is no shame in failing. All we can
Is to keep going on, perennially ailing,
However cruel and short our span.

It’s been a while and we don’t really talk.
We find it hard to look each other in the eye.
There’s so much bile – we can barely walk…
I can’t believe the life we made was but another lie.

We stumble, tilted, our world askew.
We stutter – not a single word comes out…
All that we had, all that we held so dear, all that we knew
Is ashes now... Where fire once was is all but dark without.

That C sharp melo that I used to play,
That broken piano – cozy, black and white…
Back in the days so sweet and calm and gay,
Back in the nights so warm and fresh and bright.

What has become of us? What have we done?
Is pride but every person’s fatal downfall?
In chasing shadows we get overrun…
Our hopes collapse, our passions hit the wall.

Yet, we live on, however sour our lives…
No looking back, no sorrows to cling to.
Once bit – twice shy, the truest of all lies.
We sparkle, we aspire, we dream, we rise – we do.

Hunkering down in that small world of yours,
Knowing not what purpose it serves,
Not being able to tell your left from your right,
You still choose to stand up and fight.
I salute you, I do, my brave soul!
Take it, own it, reestablish control.
It’s your life, your dreams - yours to live.
It’s your love, your light - yours to give.
Your sorrow, your tears to shed.
Your own fate, your own path to tread.

Wanna cry out loud
But my voice dies unborn
Wanna take off and fly
But it feels like I’m gravity itself
Wanna reach out and touch you
But my limbs are stiff
Wanna see the moon and the stars
But my hatred blinds me
Wanna hear the laughter and the songs
But I’m deaf with my own rage
Wanna live and let live
But death is all I feel
Wanna stand up and fight
But I know there is nothing to gain
Wanna die in peace
But what is dead may never die

“I’m your wave – I told her –  
Lay your head right here,
Softly on my shoulder.
Let your thoughts roam free.”

“You’re my air – she told me –
You’re my life and sun.
Singly we are nothing.
Allied we are one.”

“I’m your fire – I uttered –
Burning bright and mild.”
“That be true“ – she muttered,
Slender, sound and wild.

When we are together,
Nothing holds us down
The unwashed may blather,
Let them laugh and frown.

Floating through the cosmos
On a marble blue,
With the odds against us,
We make dreams come true.

24-4-2017

If I die, don't cry for me.
If you live, I smile.
Take the pride, the honesty,
Walk the royal mile.

Gently push the boundaries
Set in place by fools.
Let the love and harmony
Be your trusty tools.

Spread the word of unity
Everywhere you go.
Let your inner purity
Never lose its glow.

Be the peace you seek on earth,
Chase your wildest dreams...
If I die, don't cry for me.
Nothing's what it seems.

Nov'16 - Apr'17