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Why do I feel my efforts lack adequacy?
As time unfolds, my vision fades progressively.
ADHD complicates decisions, a challenging mission,
Thoughts compete, a mental juxtaposition.
Desired shots, no ammo, a mind's lonely condition,
Trapped within, feeling like a personal prison.
Daily, I slaughter my soul in monotonous repetition,
A ghost of my aspirations, lost in the exhibition.
A painted smile on a shell of what I sought,
Running on empty, no gas stations in thought.
I see who you really are right from inside my home
When you think there's no one there Know you're not alone
I am all your stories you imbued me with this curse
From inside my dollhouse  an observer I'm immersed
While you search the world what do you hope to find?
A tapestry of stories that only you can design
Imagination blooming like a garden in your mind
Give it a little water don't forget to give it time
When I see a smile on your face it brings me happiness
Makes me think of all the milestones that haven't happened yet
Take your time to explore the world while you unravel it
Love you to the moon and back and that's why I am so passionate
I see a universe inside you it's extravagant
Practicing experiencing what you are imagining
Every time I look into your eyes I just imagine when
You can tell me every thing inside your head that's happening
Splashes of color, abstract, chaotic and bright,
Vivid expressions of thoughts in the night.
The words in my mind, they dance and they sway,
But like fleeting graffiti, they soon fade away.

The cans of my thoughts, they rattle and hiss,
A cacophony of dreams, sometimes hit or miss.
A fresh coat appears as I overthink,
A canvas of chaos, my thoughts interlink.

I'd see a shrink, but in a blink, I'm unsure,
On the brink of my mind, the thoughts obscure.
Lost in this sequence, I yearn for a guide,
For guidance and purpose to stem the tide.

Ambition, it flickers, like a candle's soft glow,
But in seeking the light, in its warmth, I'll grow.
To paint my own story, with colors bold and bright,
I'll find the path forward, through the canvas of night.
In my head I feel pain that remains consistent
Taking hold of my emotions slowely constricting
Lack of movement as the ground below begins to soften
Quick before this sand becomes a problem
thoughts that I'm lost in
Times I've forgotten
Not often but
becoming more common
I'm worried that time won't stop when
I really need it
Lately I'm feeling defeated
Energy depleted
Legs forgot what it means to be defeated
As I keep on moving forward
Even when if gets worse
I'll never truly be able to rest
A gift and a curse
Truth is the matter is
I'm running on dead batteries
Haven't had time to replace em
Like my dreams soon my son gonna ask me to chase him
Eraser to all the mistakes I could make worse
No I won't let let him down
Floating in these waves that crash in hopes I drown
My run at the planet
Hasn't gone the way that I planned it
But the seeds I've been planting
Did I reap too soon?
Tarnished a beautiful butterfly
Preemptive from my cocoon
In my womb and in my heart of hearts
I know the endings but can never find the start
Just looking for a place to play my part
Still indulging in the art
Yet this feeling picked apart all of my energy
Creativity at an all time low
Still pretending to be a rapper  despite all my efforts
I'm stuck at the start of a zero net worth
Lost connection in a world of Networks
A little more than severed
Here I am lost on another endeavor
Love isn't as strong as security
Only one is guaranteed
Time will tell you it's price and fees
Make sure you water the right seeds
If you reap what you sow
May your harvest be plentiful
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