I
wish
I
was
d
e
a
d


-te

these thoughts
sweeping
over
my brain
taking over
taking the controls
making everything seem
impossible
no ambition
no worth
everything
s l o w l y
drowning out of me
until two words are left
"why me"
-te

YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE AND MADE ME SEE THE WORLD SO DIFFERENTLY YOU TOOK AWAY THE DARK CLOUD THAT WAS HANGING ABOVE ME AND SHOWED ME THE BRIGHT SIDE BUT THEN YOU LEFT AND THERE I WAS STARING AT THE CLOUD AGAIN HOPING IT WOULDN'T TAKE OVER BUT GUESS WHAT IT IS BIGGER THAN EVER AND EVERYDAY I AM WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK AND TAKE IT AWAY AGAIN
-te

11:11
Make a wish
For love
For hope
For strength
To keep you going
-te

sometimes I wonder about
e v e r y t h i n g
it hurts my brain
making me go insane
trying to release this
pain
it produces
even more excuses
come out of my mouth
more lies
faint cries
teary eyes
all because of what?
e v e r y t h i n g
-te

I just miss the old days.
Where there was no worries
when I didn't feel like this
suffocated.
by family
by friends
by school
by my future
what if I don't want a future
what if the only reason I'm staying right now is because people need me
my sister especially
she needs me here to help her through her troubles
I wonder what she's going to be like when she's my age
I really hope she doesn't turn out like me.
I hope she ends up being happy..
-te

I sit here in the dark
forcing my eyes to fix images
images in the darkness
all I see is the monsters
that keep destroying me
why is it so hard to get rid of them
I'm alone
in the dark
tears streaming down my face
the monsters are so cruel
saying remarks like
"you are so ugly, you fat troll"
"just continue pressing that blade against your skin"
"no one wants you here"
its so hard to tune them out when I know it's all true
I can't wait until I'm dead
so my only peaceful place isn't just my bed
I need to get away from this fast
because I really don't know how much longer I can last
-te

YOU AND YOUR CHARMING SMILE AND MAGICAL EYES THAT JUST DRAW ME IN.
YOU AND YOUR COMFORTING ARMS AND SOOTHING VOICE THAT CALMS ME
YOU AND YOUR EVERYTHING THAT MADE ME SO ATTACHED TO YOU
-te

that one love
I cherished
that one love
I miss so **** much!
everything about him
that one love
I love so deeply
so uncontrollably
it just
h u r t s
-te

I
j u s t
w i s h
I
c o u l d
t e l l
y o u
a l l
m y
t h o u g h t s
-te

EVERYONE SAYS TO TAKE CHANCES AND DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT TO TELL THE PERSON YOU LOVE THAT YOU LOVE THEM TO TELL THE PERSON YOU MISS THAT YOU MISS THEM BUT YOU SHOULDN'T BECAUSE IF THEY DO NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO BROKEN INSIDE AND NOTHING ***** MORE THAN WANTING SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT WANT YOU BACK
-te

I know its wrong
I still continue
I know its wrong
I still want it
I know its wrong
But I still end up making my way towards your lips
Kissing gently then intensely
With only thinking
I know I should stop
-te

I love music that numbs my brain
makes me forget about things for a while
seems better that way

NO ONE SEES THE STRUGGLING ALL THEY SEE IS THE BIG FAT SMILE YOU WEAR ALL DAY BUT LITTLE DO THEY KNOW THAT IT IS JUST A FAKE ONE YOU SLAP ON EVERY MORNING TO FOOL EVERYONE AND THEY ACTUALLY FALL FOR IT ONE DAY I SHOULDN'T WEAR IT AND SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE LOOK AT ME DIFFERENTLY AS I SHOW THEM HOW I REALLY FEEL TO SHOW THEM HOW BAD IT HAS BEEN LATELY BUT THEN AGAIN EVERYONE JUST LOOKS FOR THAT SMILE AND IF THEY DON'T SEE IT THEN THEY DON'T BOTHER ASKING WHATS WRONG
-te

THE WORST THING IS WHEN YOU ARE WITH SO MANY PEOPLE BUT YOU STILL FEEL ALONE WHEN YOU HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE THAT YOU CAN TRUST BUT YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN'T TALK TO ANY OF THEM BECAUSE YOU WILL BOTHER THEM WHEN YOU HAVE MANY PEOPLE TELLING YOU THAT THEY LOVE YOU AND THEY ARE THERE FOR YOU BUT YOU FEEL AS IF NO ONE CARES IT IS THE WORST TO HAVE EVERYONE HELPING BUT STILL FEEL LONELY
-te

I want to cry
But not die
I want to hurt
But not alert
I want to be noticed
The attention I seek
Has been wanted for more then a few weeks
To notice me
To see if you care
Care about me at all
-te