i caught perfection
my hands awash in a masterpiece
but when i finally held you close
i became waterlogged in you

i tested your waters
dipped my toes in your coldness
but when i finally jumped in
i swallowed gallons of your turquoise
i bathed in your beauty
soaked in your cerulean shores
but when i finally let your tide take me
i drowned in your shallow end
i swam through your depths
deep-dived your current blues
but when i thought i finally hit your seafloor
i suddenly found myself in your abyss

i caught perfection
my hands wet with greatness
but when i finally realized your worth
i knew you had slipped just out of reach

i shot your words into the sky
and watched them hang onto tips of stars
a million twinkling promises
against the deepest blue of night
they shimmered and shone
creating glimmers of hope
in the bleakest of moments
but as time passed
i desperately sought them out
through the lens of a tunneling telescope
and softly cried
as they slowly
faded from
view

I’m not a poet
But I can write you a poem
Compare your eyes to silver seas
And make metaphors out of your laugh

I’m not a painter
But I can paint you a painting
Color your skin in flesh tones
And surround your light in shadows

I’m not a chef
But I can cook you a feast
Savor the soft taste of you
And gorge on the fruits of your love

I’m not a sculptor
But I can build you out of clay
Smooth out your weary imperfections
And mold you into what you want to create

I’m not a singer
But I can carry a tune for you
Hold your falsetto in pleasure
And growl my way through your baritone

I’m not an artist
But I can make art out of you
Put you up on display
And showcase the beauty that is you

you ever look into the mirror
and love what you see
well, i know i do
because i know what skinny meant to me

it meant the dress actually fit
and i can button those pants
no more double digits
screaming at me on sewed tags

it meant a scale didn’t scare me
every time i went to the doctor
i could look at the number
and not cry about it later

it meant loving the way you look
but hating the way you feel
knowing what it took to get there
knowing how long it will take to heal

knowing it means a pack a day
stuck between my teeth
the smell of cigarettes
wafting off my skin

it means no food tuesday
and thursday and sunday too
and binging on the space
left in between

it means bent over a toilet bowl
with a finger down my throat
and running the faucet next to me
so no one has to hear

you ever look into the mirror
and hate what you see
well, i know i do
because i know what skinny means to me

when you’re in love
the dishes don’t need to be done
instead, you leave them to sit
so you can do them together
with bubbles stuck in your hair
with your wet kisses on his neck
your laughter reverberating
even hours after you’re done

when you’re in love,
the laundry can wait
instead, you leave it to pile up
so you can fold in tandem
with you both sitting on the floor
with your knees slightly touching his
the neat piles all around the room
even hours after you’ve finished

when you’re in love
the bed doesn’t need to be made
instead, you leave it a mess
so you can tumble into it at night
with his warm skin against your own
with his arms wrapped around you tight
the smell of him on your pillow
even hours after he’s gone

when you’re in love,
the only time well spent
is the time spent with one another

I guess you were just a summer fling
One of those starry-sky late night kinds of things
Like a breath of fresh air in the stifling heat
Like a brand new person you’ve been dying to meet

I guess you were just a summer fling
One of those poolside sun-soaked kinds of things
Like bare skin singed in ultraviolet rays
Like the night sky full of firework displays

I guess you were just a summer fling
One of those sweet like candy kinds of things
Like hot melted chocolate left in tinfoil
Like cherry cheesecake left out to spoil

I guess you were just a summer fling
One of those fleeting like a dream kinds of things
Like a bullet train speeding through the night
Like the flutter of feathers mid-flight

I guess you were just a summer fling
One of those gone like yesterday kinds of things
Like a dusty photograph stuck in time
Like a memory I’ve forgotten was mine

when he leaves,
cry hard.
soak your pillow in sadness,
scream into the quiet he gave you
but don’t look back.

when he leaves,
destroy you and him.
rip apart those photos you had framed,
box up the memories of you two,
but don’t look back.

when he leaves,
delete him.
remove all those saved messages,
erase all those times he said he wouldn’t,
but don’t look back.

when he leaves,
fall apart.
shatter into a million tiny pieces,
litter the floor he decides to walk out on,
but don’t look back.

when he leaves,
set fire to them.
burn them into empty space.
disappear into a cloud of smoke,
so when he looks back,
there will be nothing left.