Peachy it shall be,
Preaching beyond choirs devout,
Guide all souls to Light.

It’s 1:53 AM, and the silence is cruel,
not the kind that soothes
but the kind that pulls.

The shadows are whispering under the door,
and the walls remember what I tried to ignore.

The clock ticks like footsteps I’m scared to trace,
echoes of ghosts I refused to face.
The bed feels colder than it did before,
like someone left, but I’m not sure who anymore.

The moon don’t visit my window tonight,
just smoke from a memory choking the light.
My heartbeat sounds like a warning bell,
like even my ribs know I’m living in hell.

There’s a scream in my throat I can’t let out,
a storm in my lungs that circles doubt.
And the floorboards creak like they’re mourning too,
for the version of me that never made it through.

It’s 1:53, and the night won’t end,
time’s drunk on pain it won’t let bend.
No prayers left

just questions and smoke,
and a heart that beats just enough not to choke.

We were never lovers
don’t romanticize it.
We were two ghosts
sharing the same graveyard,
two shaky hands gripping glass
like it was the only thing
that ever stayed.

We wasn’t soulmates,
we was cellmates
trapped in a habit that felt like home,
spoon-fed poison calling it loyalty,
thinking rock bottom was softer
if you landed next to me.

You overdosed
but don’t think I didn’t.
I OD every night on could-have-beens,
on your last breath echoing
in the back of my throat.
I’m alive
but this ain’t living.
It’s survival with a heartbeat
too stubborn to quit.

We never ****** for love
we ****** to feel human
for five seconds
before the demons came back,
and the high turned cold.
I watched you sink
I lit the pipe,
I watched you drift,
I told myself I’d follow
but here I am
still feeding the same demon
with your name on its fangs.

We were never lovers.
We were addicts.
We mistook poison for forever
and you just left me
with the half-life
of a promise we never kept.

So when they ask,
I say we never loved
‘cause if we did,
maybe one of us
would still be here for real.

Don’t get it ****** up
I ain’t hard ‘cause I never broke,
I’m hard ‘cause I broke open and built castles outta my own bones.
I stood ten toes down for a man that laid hands on me
yeah, I ate that pain, fed it to the fire in my chest,
came out with my crown straight, edges laid,
heart still big enough to hold heaven and hell.

I done fed folks who stole my last crumb,
smiled in faces that would slit my back wide open,
and I still showed up whole
that’s loyalty you can’t copy,
that’s God sitting in my spine saying,
“Get up, baby — they can’t **** what I keep blessing.”

I raised babies that ain’t come from me,
kissed foreheads that never carried my blood,
loved ‘em like my own ‘cause that’s just who I be
my love don’t check DNA,
my loyalty don’t clock out when it gets rough.

I’m the one who survived the silence
and the side eyes,
the half-*** apologies and the fake prayers.
I’m the hush before the boom,
the rose that bite back when you think it’s sweet.

See, they wanna know how hard I really am?
I’m the pretty with the pit bull bite,
the soft with the street in my step,
the prayer and the promise
I bend but I don’t bow,
I bruise but I never beg.

So speak on me gentle
my name got weight you can’t carry.
I’m the woman you can’t bury ‘cause I’m seeds and roots
and every storm they said would drown me
just watered my garden.

How hard am I?
I’m hard enough to still forgive,
still rise,
still stand ten toes for people who couldn’t stand for me.
I’m God’s favorite problem
blessed, battle-tested, still pretty when I’m ******.

Try me
watch me break your curses
with the same hands I fed you with.
I’m everything they said I’d never be,
and baby, I’m just getting started.

the dreams that leave me behind your back,
love in autumn,
and lying on brittle leaves.
There’s a long road to reach you,
and with every dawn,
I wither away, thinking of you.

The thing that scares me the most is to forget

This fortnight hunts me
Every moment does
Two weeks so easy to waste
Things so easy to forget
Lists stacked on me
Words I musn´t forget
Even though so easy
A fortnight for the best time of my life

then again I´ll put on my suit
once again mute
like all the screaming men

there´s so many words lost in businessjackets
stars trapped in computers
of men who forgot
from time to time you´ll see a crystal in their eyes
and when it melts (if their heart is warm enough still)
they cry it onto their computer
once I stared at a screen so long
I only saw snow shimmering
flying crystals from the sky
fade and wash everything away

I couldn´t bare to be one of them
(for you see)
It´s not only my independent doom

All my thoughts turned into poems
and im so scared
to watch them fade
I am their creator
I give them soul

undone they         float

like ghosts in the limbo
forgotten and never birthed
those pale crystal constructions
like chromosomes & cells built me

4 dimensional spirits
2 dimensional bodies
through 3 dimensional hands

I cut out pieces of my soul
to give them souls of their own

if I don´t    trap     them
in icy white plane
with the                 I gave them
                  wings

they´ll end like Icarus

taking my soul with them
into the deep puddle

if their forgotten

so am





I

I am at this moment
right where I am
just a tick away
from where I had been
the shortest of steps
that I'm soon to be
yet through all this
I'll still be me

just a breath away
from where it all ends
hard now to count
from the days I began
not sure which side
on the dial I lean
my best guess is
it's soon to be seen

what makes life exciting
is the mystery
what adventure is hiding
for the likes of me
to take me beyond
from where I now am
to deposit me
on the other side of that