You remind me of what it feels like
to know the smell of pancakes are being made,
when first waking up.
That single letter reminds me of a Mother's face after labor,
the eyes of her holding the child,
Have you ever layed in the grass and gaze at a sky full of stars?
Every smile and glare with happiness,
is what that one letter,
makes my mind recall.
I saw a picture of you,
in me today.
The knot you tied on my tie was off by just a bit,
you always said perfect does not exist.
There they were,
My eyes shining with you
I was smiling and your teeth were white.
That morning,
my toothbrush was made with toothpaste,
before I got to the bathroom,
you had it ready to go.
Like the letter that will never disappear,
I will always have to brush my teeth.

I see you here with me now,
Over many years ago,
You left.
Guilty and latched in my own heart,
My soul was sentenced for his conviction.
Writing about things that one day we discovered,
It seemed normal.
The day had a blue sky and the sun was out.
It was not normal for my soul,
When I saw you,
I found my other half.
It's hard to love you without saying anything,
It is harder to demonstrate such love without ever seeing you.
Difficult is my life,
Without the love you carry.
Never  have I seen a man so deeply in love,
Before the age of 14.
I said "I love you" and as my mouth closed,
Between my teeth was a pistol with a bullet.
You put it there to get away.
I pulled the trigger.
Dead was I from that moment on,
I am a chicken laying eggs of a scorpion,
A wire brush cleaning teeth.
When I get to heaven,
It will rain money.
My spirit tries to get back to you twice a year,
by the time you are aware
God came to take his people.
only in that rush will you know I will forever love you.
I am a *** dog in the streets,
My owner says I'm dead,
I have no teeth to eat.
I keep walking slowly during the day,
Hoping my spirit is bought back to me.
The hollow wall in my heart was never closed,
My chest hurts to think about it.
Let my spirit go,
I do not want to love you anymore.
I find it hard to forget,
And I do not earn enough to clear you out.
I write or paint my dire hunger for you,
I release pain this way.
I cannot wait to be awake.
Heaven or Hell,
It must be better than in love with you.
If this dog is lying down,
I feel the bullet inside me,
I feel like what I am,
A dead animal.

I pretend you died.
This way,
It's easier to breathe.
My envision was getting married,
after seeing you,
walk down the center of a Castle in the middle of an island.
There was a day in a year,
My envision was lost.
The day you left,
I lost faith in life.
My imagination,
does not run without you.
Now I live,
with a loose bull inside me.
After you,
My red cape.

Let me ask
Your answer is meaningless
I will never have you.
Melancholy is my life,
Let me thank you in advance.
You've been missing in my heart,
For exactly seven years,
Why am I still counting?
Where is my gun?
I can't find my bullets
The one with your name on it,
Finally,
Something to fill your void.

You were my way of living,
My happiness.
It was never my objective,
It was Gods plan.
Meeting you and greeting love.
My ways are those
That you perform
Subconsciously.
I'm behind your mind,
Inside your heart.
I was and forever
will be
What you preach and practice.
You are mine,
Meant to be is our legacy,
Forever will my soul,
Be yours.

I am a leaf that just fell off the tip of your branch,
I am heading to where the wind takes me.
I have no direction.
I am the empty space besides the grave
of a dead one.
I am that waiting soul expecting death.
I am the roof of a house with no entrance or exit.
the ghost town no one wants to go to.
When you go to a farm,
you can find me with all the other grass.
I'm no different
every other man regrets deeply what he did
daily he deals with his affliction.
In a hospital,
I am the white paint on the wall
everyone looks at but doesn't touch or talk about.
My days past
now this memory is a song on repeat.
Inside of a house,
I am the garbage bag.
Everyone knows
but no one cares,
they throw me out at the end of every day.
I stand firm everyday
like the railings of a bed,
but this love is dying,
like the man with cancer inside his heart.
I am the bomb created by men
Having a time and day to go off.
Is it not true?
the heart bleeds
when trying to escape the dungeons of love?
Maybe,
I hope,
I'm going to wake up and light
what shall be the death of me,
I shall light
whats going to be my afterlife,
all because of you.
I will light a flame
But feel the burns on my body
the rest of my time
here on Earth
all because of your beautiful memory.
I'm not ok with your memory,
I cannot have you in my mind,
It's a torture for my soul.
I can feel the energy shoving my soul
out of my body
every single second
I think about you.