I hope you miss me
The way I miss you

But I also hope you don't
Because I am miserable
And you deserve more

How cruel of you to come into my life
And convert the gray around me into rainbows

And when I'm finally able to see colors
You leave and take them along with you...

I have caught words

Unheard...
For awhile now

Seeking each meaning behind them
The cracks inside "Love"
The light within "darkness"
Holding on the the memory of me
Comparing each scar with my own
Wondering if I could bleed the same metaphor

Would that make me a poet
Or a dreamer
When I look into the stars
And find a smile along the constellations
Or a lonely tree
On top of the sea
Saying I may be deep
But I'm solid enough to hold you

Would it make me a poet
Or a carpenter
If I build towns inside of my heart
Structures onto your pretty mind
The tower for two
The twin towers
That sadly fell without warning

Would it make me a poet
Or a scuba diver
If I dived into your eyes to find a smile untamed
Or sink into muddy waters
You say is your home

Would it make me a poet
Or a singer
If I could change the way you think
With a word or two
If I could hum a tune
And that would make you see a different point of view

I searched for answers inside a thick mind
Trying to find words inside an onomatopoeia
A message behind my minds colorful Aurora
Compelling a reason along life's aroma
Questioning the play of letters
That simply spell
P
O
E
T
R
Y

This is who I say I am
But I don't fully understand

Am I a poet?
Or just an adventurer

I am the queen of what ifs
Sitting on a throne of could've beens

My fears are my loyal subjects
Escorting my dreams to the gallows

My ambitions are now prisoners
To my court of procrastination

I, the queen
Reign over all of this regret

God, help me
Because ten minutes ago I was happy and excited for the whole year
And now here I am with tears streaming down my face and a lack of motivation to go to sleep and face tomorrow
I'm to that point again where I just don't know
So God, please help me