Under the pines
I am a new man.
Smelling pine needles
above,
rubbing soil
between my toes,
counting pine cones
as they fall,
and feeling insects
crawl all over everything.  
I am not quite myself  
under the pines,
I am fully
alive.

Though
I've grown
into a
man,

I'll
always be
her little
boy.

I'd like to
spend
some time with
nature
over the weekend
because
nothing calms me
down
more than the
feeling
of soft autumn
wind
rustling through the
trees.

What's beautiful
about our
relationship,
is that we're
just
friends,
and I'm
fine with
that,
like even though
I'm not getting
everything
I want
I'm
ok.
I'm just happy
to be in
her life
at all.

I was
worrying
about him
when
he didn’t
answer
back any
of
my text
messages,

I fretted
that
the worst
happened.

Healing doesn't always feel
good,
yesterday during my procedure
I was uncomfortable
but had to
let the doctor
perform his duty,
and because I withstood
I can smile again
having been healed.

Sometimes you gotta,
Shut off the lights,
Kneel at the foot of your bed,
Clasp your hands together,
Pray for God's mercy,
All for a good night's sleep.

You smirked
because
I was
having
a bad
day,

why does
my
misfortune give
you
so much
pleasure?

His teeth are stained
from
smoking crystal ****, but
I
still, want to kiss
him.

Disappointment feels just
like
a ballon that's
deflating
it's own helium,

but
when this happens
you
shouldn't try grasping
back
for the thin
air.

When I'm around
you
I don't miss
my
old beau as
much
as I used
too.

The pills always run out
before it's time
for a refill.
One by one they disappear
and release chemicals
into my brain.
Am I a happier person?
I don't know,
I take pills.

Like a rushing sea
wave you can't stop a panic
attack from flowing.

A teacher of mine
once told the class,
"Never live in the past,
keep moving forward."
He told us that after dwelling
on painful regret,
he took his trophies
and set them ablaze.
Leaving the past behind
in a bed of ashes.

The first dollar I made
off writing
came from a friend.
He gave me four dollars
in the hopes, that soon I'd be able
to publish my poems in real ink.
Accepting this gift,
I made a promise to myself that
I'd spend this on my dream.

Cruzing in your
car
just you and
me
after church has
ended
we share a
fellowship
that only God
could’ve
ordained for us
both,

our car ride
blessings.

Funny
how a kind
word
or a simple
smile
can be just
enough
to get me
through
a hard day,
it's
true the best
things
in life are
free
now I see.

Today I
don't
know why
you
snapped at
me
but there
are
polite ways
of
talking to
people.

Dusty tile floors,
blinky fluorescent lights,
the serenity prayer,
stapled to the walls,
this place is not home,
how did I end up here?
All alone in the dead of night,
this is John's place,
I don't know who John is,
but I need his help,
somebody's help,
please, dear God, get me,
out of this place!
As I shiver,
and choke down the tears,
sending up my prayers,
into the air,
life is never fair.

She used
me
as a
pillow
to cry
on.

you guys taught
me
it's not too
late
to make new
friends.

that's the thing
about friends
just when you think
you're too far gone
they extend
a helping hand
and save you
from yourself.

Why?
because that's
what friends
do.

I do
appreciate
how you
feel
comfortable enough
to
complain to
me
about other
people.

I almost walked
alone
in the pouring
rain,
but you gave
me
a ride home
still.

I'll keep on
standing
up for myself
even
no one else
is
on my side
because
no matter what
I've
always got my
back.

I've had
such
an ill
temper
in the
past
that's what
people
expect of
me;

from now
on
I want
to
be a
gentleman.

Creating art
is
the closest
experience
I've felt
to
a spiritual
awakening.

I swear
riding on
that bike
with you,
holding on
to your
back for
my life,
and seeing
you smile
just like
that is,
the closest
we've ever
been to
each other.

The reason I
get
up in the
morning,
and
got to work
is
just so I
can
toil away with
you.

As we
strolled
through the
rain
I didn't
mind
getting wet
because
you got
soaked
right alongside
me.

Today my
boss
told me
that
I'm now
due
for a
raise;

it's about
time.

Seeing his face
again
after all these
months
is the best
gift
I can ask
for.

when you held me
like
your little brother and
said,
"I'm not gone yet,
Aaron."
We became more than
friends.

I couldn’t
hide
my squeamishness
because
she acted
far
too familiar
with
me and
forgot
about our
boundaries.

I asked you
not
to shave your
stubble
for the rest
of
November because of
how
handsome you look
with
a beard growing
on
your face.

He shuffled through the door
and pulled up a chair at the table.
His name was Eddie,
he's from New Hampshire.
He'd traveled down the east coast
to Georgia,
and was looking for a spear part
to his car.
His clothes were *****, old, and worn-out,
evidence of his vagabond life.
A tv cable kept his pants up
instead of a belt.
Eddie's eyes were heavy from sleepless nights
spent on the road,
and  he wore a cross around his neck
because he lived on a prayer;
I don't know where he's going
or why he pulled up that chair
all I know is that for a few minutes
he was my friend
and I was his too.

I'm simply a man
who wants to believe
God loves him,
and that as long as he
tried his best in life
then that means he's
assured a place in
heaven.

Why does this
have to be so
complicated?

I'm glad I
gave
her the adequate
time
and space apart
from
me, because now
being
reunited with her
again
I'm able to
discern
what a healthy
relationship
truly is for
us.

There is a place
on the coast
where I keep
old memories.
It's called
St. Simons' Island.
This place is my home
away from home.
I keep polaroids
in my wallet
of the times
I've spent there:
A cozy book-shop,
The fancy restaurant,
An old ragamuffin,
sea water.
I wonder if I'll read those books,
drink that wine,
hear the homeless man's song,
or stand in the sea looking at the horizon
again?

I pray it would be soon.

Tonight I
fried
a dinner
of
cheese quesadillas,
then
my taste
buds
thanked me
for
learning to
cook
a new
food.

On the car
ride
to work this
morning
my Mom promised
she’d
do better by
me,
and I believe
her.

Life is all about
learning
to swim with the
tides.

The best part
of any workday
is the
end of it.
Feeling the numbness
radiating down my legs,
after standing on my feet for hours,
remarkable.
Knowing after working hard
that I'm finally clear
to go about life
as I see fit,
that's
what I call
true
freedom.

I never
get tired
of looking
over my
shoulder,
seeing you
there, and
saying that,
"I'm not
alone."

My favorite color is
pink.
I was born biologically a
boy,
but I don't
care.
I like what I
like.

When I was
little,
I played with
girls,
I loved to
gossip,
and had
girlfriends.

Then I got called
tomgirl,
and felt
embarrassed,
so I stopped having
fun;
and found myself all
alone.

Now I wear my
femininity
on my
sleeve
I love the color
pink,
and I don't care who
knows.

I'm a tree in
September
with my leaves changing
color,
falling off one by
one,
and letting the cool
autumn
breeze blow through my
branches
sweeping the deceased ones
away,

during fall, I'm letting
go
of possessions I held
dear.

You realize how much
you miss home
when you can't go
back.
Stuck in a place
that is not your own
and there is no way
out.
No matter
how bad it was
there is no place like
home.

I don't miss
him
as my lover,
but
as my only
friend.

I am an unanswered prayer,
Resting upon the hearts of,
The weak and wounded,
Like a seed that falls,
Flat on the earth,
Never to be,
Seen again.

Grandma bought me a box
of tissues today,
now I can start crying.
I've heard it said,
"Boys don't cry."
but sometimes I do.
Life gets too heavy  
and I need a release.
I always lock the door to my room,
to not sadden others.
I pull the blanket over my body
and my eyes start to water.
I bow my head as if to pray then I let
the most vulnerable part of myself
free through my teardrops.
For a few minutes  
I have no guard or shield
just tears.
When its over
I wipe away the pain
from my eyes
and start life
anew.