To be saved
that's what we want,
we reach out to people,
sometimes they break our fall,
other times we drop to the
bottom.
It's nobody's fault,
in the end,
sometimes we lack the strength
to save the ones we love,
but does that mean we don't care?
Certainly not!
Let's all forgive each other,
knowing love
always tries
again.

I sleep with the lights on,
but it's not my choice.
I hate the sensation of light
hitting my face as I sleep.
Night after night I pray
the power would go out,
so and that I could rest
in the dark.
One day I'll have my own home,
and at night all will be silent,
and all will be pitch black dark;
dissolving into nothingness,
until then may the power bill go
unpaid
and the light bulbs
obsolete.

I went with a girl
to see a movie
and as fantastic beasts
danced across the screen,
I put my arm around her shoulder
that was a mistake,
she didn't like me in that way,
and as I dropped my arm
it was over.
I said I was sorry,
she said it was ok,
but I knew it wasn't.
I was ******* myself
and I gave up trying
for a long time.
Looking back,
I see it's just a tiny mistake
in the grand scheme called, "My life."
If I have to take a chance on anything,
then it better be for
love.

I got back to my cabin
it was late,
but I put in my earbuds
listening to a song,
like magic, I heard this song
as if for the first time,
the melody and lyrics calming
my restless mind.
These moments
I can count on one hand
and I was glad to be
alive,
music has the power
unlike anything else
to bring healing to
the wounded.

I miss the old days
back when it was just
Mom, Maryann, and I,
we were three against the world.
Together nothing could separate us,
not hunger, fear, or divorce.
We embarked on an adventure,
and most said we'd never last.
But we made a home
in a trailer in the middle of nowhere,
and we thought it quite shabby,
looking back it was paradise,
I'd give anything for another day,
with just three of us again.
Ain't that the way it goes,
you don't see the good old days,
until they're already gone,
and you can't get them back.
The memories keep me warm at night,
as I embark on a new adventure,
but this time I must go alone,
will I make it back home?

Sometimes we wrong
the people in our lives,
whether on purpose,
or by accident,
it always
hurts.
I met a girl over the summer
and I forgot to call her up,
she won't return my texts.
Now it's over
and there's nothing I can do.
If she'd given me a second chance
I would have given her the best side
of myself,
I've said sorry too many times to count,
I guess that means nothing in the end.

Hey, I've been thinking
we might work well
together?

We've been friends
for a while now,
I think its time.

Let's take things
to the next level.

No?

Ok, that's fine
at least we can still
be friends?

Cool, I hope this doesn't
make things awkward
between us?

Good.
Talk to you later.

I had
to leave
my house
last night
because of
the yelling.
I called
a friend,
he came
and picked
me up,
I slept
over at
his place.
We talked,
made cocoa,
and watched
a movie.
I fell
asleep in
the living
room on
top of
the futon.
The darkness
covered me
and I
slept in
peace under
the fake
plastic stars
attached to
the ceiling.
I woke
up this
morning with
one question
on my
mind, "Why
can't every
night end
like that?"

The doctor told me
because I feel better
I'm eating more and
gaining weight.
So what?
For the first time in my life
I feel good about who I am,
I'm not ruining it by
worrying about gaining
a few extra pounds.
If you can't get past
my belt size,
I don't want to be your
friend.
Love me as I am,
or stop talking to me.
I will not apologize for
being happy.

I quit every job
I've had in my life
because I was afraid of
failing.
Now I see
what's scarier is to never
realize your
potential.
The next job I get
I'll work hard with sweat
on my brow and money in my
pocket.
Just wait and see,
I'll prove all the naysayers wrong
with my working man's
hands.

I'm not perfect,
at least I can say that out loud.
Hopefully, I try my best
in everything that I do.
I pray that my character
holds up to the test,
that when others see me
they see a nice person.
It's impossible to know for sure,
but I strive for perfection.
I am Aaron Brown,
a man who tries.

It's a crime to feel unwanted,
why do we do this to ourselves?
Don't we all deserve:
attention,
friendship,
and love?
Then why do we doubt it?
The greatest story ever told
is about a man who sacrificed everything
to prove the value of you and me.
Go about your life and believe,
you are loved.

I'm a writer, and I spend my time writing.
I don't care what day of the week it is,
what time of day,
or how many times a day,
I'm focused on writing.
My life is spent reading in libraries,
scribbling in notebooks,
and typing on computer screens.
I survive on cans of caffeinated soda
and collected works of:
Frost, Dickinson, and Yeats.
Though my life on the outside
may seem bland and secluded,
words have taken me
on a great adventure.  
So if you have a little time
read a book and write your story,
you might be surprised
how much less alone you feel.

I call it having a leaky brain,
thoughts like raindrops drip into my mind  
one after another slowly causing
obsession,
I'm always thinking these
thoughts:
"Who am I?"
"What am I doing with my life?"
"How am I gonna get by?"
"I need help."
I wake later in the morning,
and the days seem shorter;
nights spent sleepless,
maybe one day I'll get it
together,
if my mind lets me
go.

My dog slipped out the leash today
and ran down the street.
I was terrified
she was
gone.
I chased
after her with
my sandals on calling her
name, "Mercy! Mercy! Mercy!"
She thought it was a game and kept going,
across the neighborhood street,
through stranger's backyards,
and jumping into a mud
puddle getting
filthy paws.
When
it was over
I took a walk to
clear my mind of what
just transpired and prayed to God,
that it would never happen again on my watch
I love Mercy, and I don't want her to get hurt.

A teacher of mine
once told the class,
"Never live in the past,
keep moving forward."
He told us that after dwelling
on painful regret,
he took his trophies
and set them ablaze.
Leaving the past behind
in a bed of ashes.

It wasn't my idea,
but I did it anyway.
I read my poem aloud
for everyone to hear.
I started out slow
but rushed at the end.
I wonder if they understood
my words,
did they ponder
the message?
Will, I become
immortal?

If I were to die today
inscribe two things
on my headstone:
Son & Poet.
I was nothing before
the love of my parents
brought me into the world,
I am eternally there son.
Remember me as a poet,
who tried his best to
find beauty in the bleakest
of circumstances.

I sometimes have to remind myself
that I'm doing this for me,
I write all these words in the hopes
that I'll gain inner peace,
if it helps people along the way
that's just a benefit of being an artist.
At the end of the day
if I'm not any closer to serenity
I don't care what the whole world says
it's all been for nothing.

I wear pajamas
when I go to bed,
one button-up shirt
and drawstring pants
both the color of
light blue sky
they're a gift
from my Mom.
I feel complete
wearing them,
I'm ready to
fall asleep.
It's rare in this world
to ever feel so confident.
When I put on these pajamas
I'm a gentleman practicing
the art of
a good night's sleep,
call me Aaron no more,
only Mr. Brown for now on.

I'll never forget the day
we loaded the car
and left town
forever.
Each of us
uncertain what the future held,
knowing the only way to move
is forward.
I'm proud of my Mom
she didn't have
any money,
a job,
or a plan,
she just took my sister and me by the hand
and lead us out of Babylon.

If you've ever felt
lonely,
anxious,
or depressed.
Take heart
because
you can always be
a shoulder to cry on
all you have to do is
sit still and listen.
Letting the tears roll down
your arm and unto the floor.

What is art?
There is no clear answer
to that question.
You know when
art appears,
something deep down
in your gut
tells you it's
real.

Have you ever
hurt so bad
you've said to
yourself, "I couldn't
feel this much
pain, could I?"
I've had beatings
a few times.
The sensation of
immense physical harm
reduces a man
to nothingness in
the sight of
God. Whatever remains
will make him
stronger or obsolete.
Either way, the
sensation of pain
will remain with
him forever and
to the grave.

Remember when we said,
"I love you."
and meant it?
I think I need
to hear it
one more time.
Take a deep breath,
tug at the heartstrings,
and let the words roll off your tongue,
"I love you."
and I will reply with all sincerity,
"I love you, too."

Under the pines
I am a new man.
Smelling pine needles
above,
rubbing soil
between my toes,
counting pine cones
as they fall,
and feeling insects
crawl all over everything.  
I am not quite myself  
under the pines,
I am fully
alive.

True love happens by accident,
you think of a person once or twice,
and you do your best to put them out of your mind;
but they won't go away.
Over and over again a voice
whispers in your ear
and you know this isn't
normal.
You realize you can't go a day without seeing her,
let alone an hour without her on your mind.
That's all it takes,
and suddenly your heart unravels.
Your direction changed,
leading straight to her now.

I know a guy who lives a happy life
in a comfortable home.
He showed me a photo
of all his good friends.
Hopefully, someday I'll
become his best friend.
I need to know that
I matter in his life.
That's selfish,
but I need to know
that I made a difference
in somebody's life
for the better,
someday.
I'll take a photo of us together
and from then on
we'll always be best friends,
forever?

He shuffled through the door
and pulled up a chair at the table.
His name was Eddie,
he's from New Hampshire.
He'd traveled down the east coast
to Georgia,
and was looking for a spear part
to his car.
His clothes were *****, old, and worn-out,
evidence of his vagabond life.
A tv cable kept his pants up
instead of a belt.
Eddie's eyes were heavy from sleepless nights
spent on the road,
and  he wore a cross around his neck
because he lived on a prayer;
I don't know where he's going
or why he pulled up that chair
all I know is that for a few minutes
he was my friend
and I was his too.

She sat down beside me
and started talking about
her life.
I wasn't interested,
but if I didn't listen to her
who would?
So I nodded along
to whatever she was saying
half listening.
She played pretend
with her friends
on stage,
now she works flipping burgers
and goes to school
that's it,
I feel sad for her,
adult life has
taken over,
I hope she dreams
of a better path
for herself,
I know
she'll find it
one day.

I want to fall head over heels
in love with someone.
Its been so long
since I've felt
that way.
Last time
I let a good thing
slip through my fingers
because I was scared of what
others might say about my love.
Never again shall cowardice
keep me from what
I know is true
love in my
heart.

Grandma bought me a box
of tissues today,
now I can start crying.
I've heard it said,
"Boys don't cry."
but sometimes I do.
Life gets too heavy  
and I need a release.
I always lock the door to my room,
to not sadden others.
I pull the blanket over my body
and my eyes start to water.
I bow my head as if to pray then I let
the most vulnerable part of myself
free through my teardrops.
For a few minutes  
I have no guard or shield
just tears.
When its over
I wipe away the pain
from my eyes
and start life
anew.

Sometimes the best thing you can do
is to stop and breathe,
letting the painful moment pass;
for it is those quiet seconds of desperation
when you find out who you are,
count 1, 2, 3

I've had the same sticky note on my laptop
with a list of things to do for weeks now.
I don't know if I'll ever get around
to crossing things off my list.
I know I should,
but part of me is scared.
What if it turns out to be harder than I thought
and I don't know what to do?
I should stop worrying and start doing things,
but it feels like it's impossible.
Like my head is being shoved under water
and I can't breathe.
Every day the left side of my brain asks,
"Are going to do something today?"
and the right brain responds,
"No, definitely not."

Beer on tap
comfortable wooden chairs,
and football on tv,
I should talk with the guys,
but I don't want to.
I'm bored and growing impatient,
everyone is talking over everyone else,
each voice louder than the next,
a guy plays a folksy tune on the guitar
and neon lights shine burning my eyes
I feel like a fish out of water,
here in this supposedly common ground
for most men,
I'm trying not to stick out,
but I have nothing to say.
I stare at my phone
and wait for my dinner to arrive;
taking small sips of sweet tea.
Everyone else drinks water.

You'll run out of things to say as a writer,
don't worry about it.
Just keep tapping away at the keyboard till
your fingers fall off.

It's hard to talk to you
when I don't know if
you're really
there.
I don't mind being your
friend,
but I can't move forward
if I don't see you
we only need to meet
every once in a while
maybe for a walk in the park
or over a cup of coffee.
If I can see you
face to face
that's all I
need.

If I've learned anything
from loneliness
it's that:
You have to love people
while they're still around,
or else you'll regret
for the rest of your life
how you didn't cherish them.
Remember to say,
"I love you."
as much as possible,
because of the kindness
you send into the world
will be brought back to you,
tenfold.

The pills always run out
before it's time
for a refill.
One by one they disappear
and release chemicals
into my brain.
Am I a happier person?
I don't know,
I take pills.

There is an old car
sitting in the backyard
gathering dust.
Maybe I'll drive it one day,
to somewhere far away;
to a place, I can call my own.
I sat in it once and felt like Gatsby
my dream is so close
only if I could start the car.

I've been an impostor
for so long
I forgot who I am.
When I walk down the street
a shadow follows me
I wonder whose it might be.
Missed the days
when I was honest
and had nothing to hide.
Now I'm just a wilting flower
blowing in the breeze,
soon I'll be swept away.

I can't make anyone
fall in love
with me,
all I can do is
be just as I am
and that by itself
makes me worthy
of love.

Never get so busy that
you don't have time
to take a nap.
Adjust your schedule,
pick a time,
and take a break;
God knows you deserve it.

The way you disappear
is by walking out that door
and never looking back.
Leaving the past behind
and going headlong
into the future.
Don't bother saying goodbye
because you're already
gone.

You realize how much
you miss home
when you can't go
back.
Stuck in a place
that is not your own
and there is no way
out.
No matter
how bad it was
there is no place like
home.

A writer's ultimate goal
is to be remembered
after he's gone,
immortalized
in the hearts of people
all over the world
long after he's
dead.

Will, he ever reach it,
who's to say,
writers die, but ideas live on
so write about what matters.

If I could meet myself 20 years from now,
hopefully, I'd say:
"Everything is going to be ok."
and
"Don't worry so much."

I was sitting on the bus
minding my business
when she got on,
and I froze.

I thought to myself:
If I don't talk to her
I'm antisocial.
Then if I do she might
find out how weird
I am.

So I just sat back
and got off the bus.
Nobody is worth
this torture.

What you get
with a basic life:
College diplomas
to hang on the wall,
a full-time job
that lasts 40 years,
dating resulting in
marriage and maybe divorce,
children are born and stick around for at least
18 years,
retiring in your sixties then finally
death.
Are you bored yet?

Parties are no fun
I sit in the corner
watching others like a wallflower,
I don't know what to
think, say, or do.
People overwhelm me with
loud conversation and silent social cues.
If I do talk to anyone its  
the weird, shy, and lonely people.
One day we'll have a party
dedicated to people like us.
No eye contact required.