my old heart only beat for others
now it beats for me

I want to be the dandelion
growing in between the cracks
in the sidewalk
living in spite
of everything trying to
**** it

her sillage settled in my room
after she left
it brings back memories of
what we did that night
your lips pressed against mine
my hands on you soft skin
feeling the curves of your body
I was high on your touch
couldn't get enough
always needed more of you
now you're gone
and all I'm left with
are the memories

the sheer diaphanous veil
covered the bride's face
she was suppressing tears
not tears of joy
but of sadness
she had no choice in this marriage
forced to don the white lacey dress
slather on makeup
and walk down the aisle
and swear to marry a stranger
and obey his every command

the birds chirp in the distance
the sun glows bright
in the cerulean sky
no clouds in sight
just sunshine
beating down on your skin
sweat trickles down your brow
a slight breeze
sways the grass
around your ankles

when I love someone
I don't want to love their
gender or their skin
I want to love them
their laugh
their smile
their eyes
their humor
their kindness
their thoughtfulness
their talents
their skills
I want to love them
for them
not a made up version
of them
I want them to be theirself
and be proud
they don't need to be
a girl
or
a boy
or
gender nonconforming
I will love them
for them
and what they look like
does not matter
"I don't love a body,
that's just skin and bones,
not somebody"

my heart used to flutter
when you texted me
I would gush at every compliment
but then
I was impatient to be called yours
you cut our situationship off
and decided we should be just friends
it broke my heart
as tears streamed down my face
but soon enough
I accepted it as that
but then
you became distant
and stopped replying to me
you left me on read/seen
it made my heart heavy
and stomach churn
I stopped begging for
your attention
and affection
now I no longer care
I do not feel anything for you
my heart is steady
I don't look forward to
your texts
I barely think of you
I am done
done with this mess
I will wipe my hands of
this situation
and leave it in the past