my sweet baby Caesar
orange fur flying around
deep grumbly purr
light green eyes
judgmental and cuddly
introverted and quiet
you were taken far too soon
we'll miss you buddy
my caesar salad
my gingersnap snickerdoodle
my chicken nugget
we love you Caesar
rest easy now
the pain you were in is gone

I remember 12 year old me
13 year old me
14 year old me
15 year old me
16 year old me
17 year old me
crying alone at night
a blade in hand
carving into my body
blood staining my clothes
never thinking it could get better
but it got better
the blade is retired
the scars are healed
never to be reopened

you were so mercurial
that I had to leave
I wasn't good enough
I couldn't be broken
by you

the little frog was zippy
zipping down the flower stem
skipping across the pond
chilling in the cool water
soaking in the bright sunlight
watching the flowers sway in the soft breeze
the little frog was zippy

I am desultory when it comes to
how I never want to speak to you again
I haven't unadded you on social media
maybe I should
should I?
I don't watch your insta stories
that's a good step
I don't talk to you anymore
good for me

it has been days since I last talked to you
it's been very freeing
not having to worry about saying
the wrong thing
and being too much
or not enough
I could never be just right for you
there was always something wrong
with me or what I did or said
it's so freeing not talking to you
being ignored or forgotten
I am free now that I'm no
longer trapped in the shackles
disguised as love and kindness
that you gave me

nature has such a mellifluous sound
birds chirping to one another
branches swaying in the wind
streams trickling down the ground
nature has such a mellifluous sound