i know i lied

but
so
did
you

(now i know)

and you tried
to make me
the villain

so
****
you

i know
we will be ok
but
right now
i’m not ok

the reality
we allow

the reality
we need

i'm stuck
in between

my feelings
of despair
muted
pint after pint

i like flipping tables
and
i know you do, too

but
do me a favor
and don't flip ours

you are
my entitlement
ownership
spread from my heart
connections
i cannot control
future
inevitable

your words
like music

your voice
is mute

my ears
yearn

working through
grief
of us

starting to see
a blue sky
where my freedom
purifies me

where the air
i breathe
is nourishing

where i
am
me

how could you
let me go
with such
indifference?

how do you
survive
the days

        (and how do i)

knowing
how close
we are?

and yet..

i guess

too
far

i think
you don't want me
but
you're too **** to admit

that this was just
something
you saw as a game
because
i'm
not
real
to
you

there was a time
when this was new
i thought i saw
a glimpse of you

you left me clues
along the way
but you never
gave your heart away

i haven’t learned
no, i can’t let it go
how many times can i endure
the word no?

there was
a turn
today
when my love
began
to decay

the wind is deafening
no one is near
we held hands again
and kissed by the pier

we are a photo
we are a memory
destined for something
yet not meant to be

together
we walked back to the beach
and
replayed that one time

but
you're not mine
you're not mine
you're not mine

watching you
again
walking away
run
run
to her
and so
please
stop
talking like
you’re
coming back

i know
who you are
to me
and i want to
just

say it

openly

share it
with everyone

celebrate it
and
live it

with you