So much of my life is my own fault
I want this, I need that, I, I, I
Rustified, circular logic
so alone, its unfair
deserving no one
He came, brought me to him, took me to him
showed me a bright, thoundering light
I could only, desperately
shy away, turn my eyes
look alway, flinch
at his gentlist touch
turn his words
to lies
This fit my reality, fit my truth
I had to mold him to a pattern
break him, to prove my worth
laugh at his quiet peace
interrupt his turn
intruduce him to my bleak world, pain
misery, sharp, thorned radiators
blame him for my pain
cut him, a razor's
sharpest tongue
my brittle,
poor, dry
self
He is so free, my resentment boils
shouldering responsibility
a firey, solid life
to which, my forfiet
is complete, sold
my pennance
slavery is my only worth, my only lot, its a woman's place
the strings are cables, heavy chains, locking bolts
keeping me safe, its my only precedent
I won't let him, can't trust him
cut me loose, weigh me down
with responsibilities
I have done enough
freedom is not my sorry life, flashing
resentment controls my choice, burns
broken will, regrets, hate, so
I am will, refusal to change
it is all I know
I will cherish and keep it close
for better, for bitter worth
for worse, in wilting sick
and health, such a vow
my marriage shift lost
promises broken
he didn't lie