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 Sep 2013 The New Kestrel
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 Sep 2013 The New Kestrel
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Having you near me
Close to me
I feel a comforting pressure
As you lean on me
I feel overjoyed
It startles me how good it makes me feel
Just to be near you.
I decided to write one last poem
To explain it all
Sometimes it's better to let go
Because the timing's wrong
But I'm still on my knees
Trying to stop the bleeding
'Cause my head knows we are dead
But my heart just won't believe it
In the evening when the night falls
And nothing seems to matter
I put my hands together
And pray for things to get better
But these hands weren't made for that
They were made to protect you
And hold yours
But I guess that's how the story ends
Once, I was gifted the brightest jewel of all the wide worlds wonder

It shone for me with a brilliance, as it had for no other

But in my foolishness I cast this priceless jewel away

And as it fell t’was broken, the light scattered asunder


Now, it will not shine for me

And so, I stand in darkness


The bitter pain of watching its warmth shining upon others

As my own space dimmed, to dark and ugly colours

But it was I who cast the jewel that broke, and made itself anew

Stronger, fairer, brighter than the untouched jewel that I once knew


Still, I cannot bear to see

And so, I stand in darkness


A jewel so bright, many have sought to bask in its fey light

This is no earthen gemstone, nor star that graces the night

Most, too foolish to keep it shining upon them alone

A jewel set in the breast of artwork fairer and brighter beyond sight


Woe, it shines the least on me

And so, I stand in darkness


A darkness I would have flee from unforgiving fire

To burn the earth and all the heavens until I’m alone

To end this world with fell flames is to what I aspire

And watch the gods despair, at the crumbling of their thrones


Yet, I must not turn ugly

And so, I stand in darkness


Anguish will never wear such a resplendent face, as the one that I shall paint it

Despair will be sung truly, in a sweet melodic guise

I shall mould regret into a bolt of ruthless doom, enamored with a purpose

And pen loss in lustrous tales, to gild a readers eyes


All, done with some subtlety

And so, I stand the darkness


To sound a scream which rends the land, leaving a scar behind

To cry deltas flowing back through past deeds, flooding that frame of mind

For it to nourish life, of a beautiful, and evolved kind

Thus emptied, to float up and admire it from above, weightless, and refined


Though, I must tread silently

And so, I walk from darkness


Finally I saw the truth, after I was told a lie

Delivered into the blinding light, I was left wondering why

Why I was cursed with the folly to commit the greatest of life's crimes

Why I must now see sense, and what has passed me by


Still, t’was a choice made by me

And thus, I’ve burned with darkness






Never, never, ever again, to break such fragile, precious things

Nor walk with tactlessness, or tragedy in my stride

I'll shine with luminescence of thoughts and deeds most high

When some facets of that young boy, have finally, truly died



My own jewel shattered, with minds eye open wide

Now I understand, this allegory of dark and light
he's more than just some boy
with black hair
or eyes that peer from behind trees.
i know because
when he sits on my bed
or my couch
or my chair
or my floor
it's like he's always been there.
apart of a drawing or a painting
something permanent
but i didn't noticed until
his physical form
accumulated in my life.
Note to Self:

"Dear Self;
GET OVER IT.
GET OVER YOURSELF.
For ****'s sake, man.
Why is it taking so long
to get this out of your head?
What corrupted seed
is planted in your mind?

It isn't worth the Energy you sacrifice."


Re: Note to Self*

"To whom it may concern:

I know, but it isn't that easy.
I can't just pick up and move on, like you.
I can't just forget the good times and the bad, like you.
I can't just ignore the feelings that flood forth from my Amygdala,
coupled with the memories within the Thalamus and Hippocampus.

It doesn't work like that;

I have to work with it
to worth through it
and I cannot rush it;
You see, I must be patient with you,
and you with me,
Self."
The drums beat all night
a relentless din
wood to leather
this beat goes on forever

****** beats that bang and bang
bang bang feel it deep within
sweat the beat away
bang bang bang

No sleep for me, too restless
as the beat goes on, bang
I 'm boarded, on the edge
with the beat in my head

I want to get naked and dance
rip my clothes away and dance
and the kicking beat goes on
spank the monkey and kiss the moon

Bang Bang Bang


By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris
By NeonSolaris

© 2012 NeonSolaris (All rights reserved)
 Sep 2013 The New Kestrel
R
the same dream always occurs--
you and i
becoming one
entangling in our
love,
entangled in the
sheets.
you falling for the
passion i
have over the stars,
me falling for
you.

the way you lean
down to grab my
face and kiss my
lips so softly,
nothing can explain
the feeling.

i just wish i knew it.
 Sep 2013 The New Kestrel
R
stars
 Sep 2013 The New Kestrel
R
lets be a star;
lets fuse like
hydrogen and
make helium,
lets become dense
and be something
beautiful.

but we shouldn't
become to dense,
we might blow up
if we do.


and that wouldn't be okay,
now would it?
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