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I may have given
you the ammunition but
you pulled the trigger.
Inside the café
I look out on to the small portion of the city grid that unfolds before my eyes:
Beyond the softness of my translucent reflection on the window pane
Towards the sea of black coats, umbrellas and moving shapes that grace the landscape.

Another person,
Another life:
Another unread novel rotting on the shelf
Passed over by all who would read it;
Passed by on the city street.

Can you feel the rain between us
As you move on
Pretending not to see the face that stares past my prints
Shining off the window after these longing fingers pull away?

I have seen it in your face when look down or straight ahead
And pass by the others in your bubble as if living in your own dream:
Merely a distant gaze,
You face the throng,
Face desire
Face the unconscious need that drives the surrounding movement forward
Towards the discovery of its own emptiness that renews its search and its longing.

You do not share this longing:
Dwelling in this space between the others
Content to be carried along by the forces beyond your control

How I wish your calmness would infect the world around you
So as to part this ocean of desirous chaos
That I might walk to you
Look you in the eyes
And smile…
Sickening faith in someone fails.
A new hope regained;
When distance is abstained.

Hell is the Heaven you have been seeking
While restless souls ascend from their graves
Peaceful fires erupt with sorrow
Your love is the only thing to blame.

Despising heart,
Fueled by torture.
But each minute death gets closer.
My lessening heartbeat starts to subside.
My soul departed.
You find me dead.
I'm missing the heart that you once held.
Keep me close as i descend to the heaven I call hell.
 Sep 2013 The New Kestrel
mûre
And when I molt
you make a headdress of the selves that
have fallen from me with time.
Like you, they are colourful and cautious.

And as you carefully creep skyward,
I throw myself down in the cool grasses
of your lengthening shadow.
I was tired. It made sense to rest.

And so we played with feathers and inches
as children do.
Running in circles and circles until we fell asleep holding hands.

What were we,
but our love?
 Sep 2013 The New Kestrel
---
Don't go by the river
Unless you are a rabbit.
Because rabbits can go on
Grand adventures to distant
Bouncy houses owned by
Fire breathing
Toads.
Men and women
Are like muffins.
I'm not sure why
Or if they are
But they should be.
Jumping is always bad
Unless it's not.
Beware the pencil
Unless you are wielding a
Muscle-bound rubber chicken.
If you aren't
Jump for your life.
I hate you
Except I don't.
A definition for literally
In the dictionary
Is not literally.
What is a man
But a sack of rice?
Eyes are squishy.
You are breaking the mold
And becoming misshapen.
Suffer me to
Dance!
Drop the bass
And then pick it up
Clean that bass off of the floor!
That was a very fragile bass
And you broke it!
Du hast.
Heavy metal!
Huminaminaminaminaminamina
That's enough
That was a lie
Or was it?
Pervert.
Looking at my elbow
Save that for the bedroom!
Rock on.
Selling self to fall from grace
in divided attention to tease the waste,
leak control to test and tame.
The serpent coils to eat its tail
cages the want to set to sail,
clips the wings and leaves me lame.
One hand in clichés
One hand in disdain and repetition
of broke algorithms.
You turn me on what more can I say,
the neon strip led me astray
Writhing sighn lights of the merry-go-round
and cogs grind round and wheels resound;
when’ll it stop, when I already know:
"the answers present the wills ascent, the answer’s present, the wills ascent!"
The mountain rises from my grave
and simplicity simply fades
Leak control to teaste and train.
The dove leaves its cote at the door
left ajar, loses the border
to forget myself and name,
as heart turns opaque for a lust in my life
a love in my state;
a firstless engine
for algae rhythms.
You turn neon and lead me to say”
You freed me from this gravity
gave me perfection, when I asked for distraction
filled my need in evasion of wanton
“Feel like I cheated, for empathy’s kiss, because the time we shed were tamed moments of bliss.
With nothing to scar its memory.
For our moments shared, you are love to me.
 Sep 2013 The New Kestrel
mûre
If I use the right words
anything I say in these first three lines
will urge you to



Point made.
It's a bit of a shame, really. So many exquisite poems remain unread on this site because of "judging the book by the cover". Is our readability limited by our talent (or lack thereof) to craft punchy openers? Just a thought.
At midnight, in the month of June,
I stand beneath the mystic moon.
An ****** vapor, dewy, dim,
Exhales from out her golden rim,
And, softly dripping, drop by drop,
Upon the quiet mountain top,
Steals drowsily and musically
Into the universal valley.
The rosemary nods upon the grave;
The lily lolls upon the wave;
Wrapping the fog about its breast,
The ruin moulders into rest;
Looking like Lethe, see! the lake
A conscious slumber seems to take,
And would not, for the world, awake.
All Beauty sleeps!—and lo! where lies
(Her casement open to the skies)
Irene, with her Destinies!

Oh, lady bright! can it be right—
This window open to the night!
The wanton airs, from the tree-top,
Laughingly through the lattice-drop—
The bodiless airs, a wizard rout,
Flit through thy chamber in and out,
And wave the curtain canopy
So fitfully—so fearfully—
Above the closed and fringed lid
’Neath which thy slumb’ring soul lies hid,
That, o’er the floor and down the wall,
Like ghosts the shadows rise and fall!
Oh, lady dear, hast thou no fear?
Why and what art thou dreaming here?
Sure thou art come o’er far-off seas,
A wonder to these garden trees!
Strange is thy pallor! strange thy dress!
Strange, above all, thy length of tress,
And this all-solemn silentness!

The lady sleeps! Oh, may her sleep
Which is enduring, so be deep!
Heaven have her in its sacred keep!
This chamber changed for one more holy,
This bed for one more melancholy,
I pray to God that she may lie
For ever with unopened eye,
While the dim sheeted ghosts go by!

My love, she sleeps! Oh, may her sleep,
As it is lasting, so be deep;
Soft may the worms about her creep!
Far in the forest, dim and old,
For her may some tall vault unfold—
Some vault that oft hath flung its black
And winged panels fluttering back,
Triumphant, o’er the crested palls,
Of her grand family funerals—
Some sepulchre, remote, alone,
Against whose portal she hath thrown,
In childhood many an idle stone—
Some tomb from out whose sounding door
She ne’er shall force an echo more,
Thrilling to think, poor child of sin!
It was the dead who groaned within.
I wanna fight with you,
I wanna argue and say horrible mean things to you,
I wanna hurt you,
Disregard your existence
Make you go insane,
Point out all your flaws in the name of love,
And then throw glass at you,
Raise our voices in extreme fury,
Fight me,
Break me,
Burn me,
Make me know that you want me,
For God sakes if I don't know I'm leaving,
I'll quit,
I'll run out the door into another's arms if you don't make me feel like I matter,
*******,
Go!
Get out of here,
And grop that girl you met last night,
I don't need you,
Even though I love you,
Even though I can rip open my chest and expose that which I've kept hidden for year,
Yeah the scar tissue shows,
Not pretty,
I know,
I can't do that with Dan, or Connor, or Brandon or Matt,
If they saw the ugliness underneath I never would hear from them again,
But with you,
With your patience and understanding I cannot feel anymore at home,
Isn't that the feeling ones suppose to feel,
Real?
I feel like I can be absolutely real,
Like the DNA can unravel and unwind,
I don't have to hid anymore,
Not with you, or around you,
I can be me!
I'm just a bit afraid that you're the only one I can find,
The only one that I can ever be with,
The only one who would make me feel completely and utterly whole…
Make sense?
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