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Back out of all this now too much for us,
Back in a time made simple by the loss
Of detail, burned, dissolved, and broken off
Like graveyard marble sculpture in the weather,
There is a house that is no more a house
Upon a farm that is no more a farm
And in a town that is no more a town.
The road there, if you’ll let a guide direct you
Who only has at heart your getting lost,
May seem as if it should have been a quarry—
Great monolithic knees the former town
Long since gave up pretense of keeping covered.
And there’s a story in a book about it:
Besides the wear of iron wagon wheels
The ledges show lines ruled southeast-northwest,
The chisel work of an enormous Glacier
That braced his feet against the Arctic Pole.
You must not mind a certain coolness from him
Still said to haunt this side of Panther Mountain.
Nor need you mind the serial ordeal
Of being watched from forty cellar holes
As if by eye pairs out of forty firkins.
As for the woods’ excitement over you
That sends light rustle rushes to their leaves,
Charge that to upstart inexperience.
Where were they all not twenty years ago?
They think too much of having shaded out
A few old pecker-fretted apple trees.
Make yourself up a cheering song of how
Someone’s road home from work this once was,
Who may be just ahead of you on foot
Or creaking with a buggy load of grain.
The height of the adventure is the height
Of country where two village cultures faded
Into each other. Both of them are lost.
And if you’re lost enough to find yourself
By now, pull in your ladder road behind you
And put a sign up CLOSED to all but me.
Then make yourself at home. The only field
Now left’s no bigger than a harness gall.
First there’s the children’s house of make-believe,
Some shattered dishes underneath a pine,
The playthings in the playhouse of the children.
Weep for what little things could make them glad.
Then for the house that is no more a house,
But only a belilaced cellar hole,
Now slowly closing like a dent in dough.
This was no playhouse but a house in earnest.
Your destination and your destiny’s
A brook that was the water of the house,
Cold as a spring as yet so near its source,
Too lofty and original to rage.
(We know the valley streams that when aroused
Will leave their tatters hung on barb and thorn.)
I have kept hidden in the instep arch
Of an old cedar at the waterside
A broken drinking goblet like the Grail
Under a spell so the wrong ones can’t find it,
So can’t get saved, as Saint Mark says they mustn’t.
(I stole the goblet from the children’s playhouse.)
Here are your waters and your watering place.
Drink and be whole again beyond confusion.
 Sep 2013 The New Kestrel
Sandra
Her
The flower on the wall
Wilting slightly
Drops a petal
Fills her vase with Johnny Walker
Re hydrated
Firms her buds
He loves me…

The other posies
Gather round
As she is picked
To join the chosen
Form the wreath
'the arrangement'
That tops the coffin
It is her service

Sweet translucent sap
Leaks from her stem cut
For that is the fate
Of the daisy
He loves me not…
It should mean a lot
Just to be able to call you a friend
But it hurts
It hurts more than just standing back
Because from the back
I could pretend
I could pretend that it was me
The one you wanted by your side
The one you wanted to hold
The one you wanted in your life
But really it's her
It's always been her
And I can see why
I can see why it's not me
You call me your friend
I call you mine
I'm happy enough with that
That it only stings some
I think I'm addicted
To this sad song
Because it reminds me of you
You're the touch of happiness
Surrounded by the sadness
Of knowing you'll never care about me

You're the melody
Everyone loves
I'm a lone note
No one would know was gone
You're loved
I'm not
So let the sad song play on
She walked with me
Joined me in my laughter
Bowed with me in gratitude
Cried for the wanton desire

She romanced me
Torrid, exulting
She followed me
Slow, shadowy, bouncy too

My destiny
My birth-mate
Death
The only one who never left my side
You
You're the way you look at 4am when you've woken up for the umpteenth time,
And I don't know why, but I rub your bare chest with my cheek and hope you're alright.
You're the way I feel when you take my hand before I take yours,
And you're the speed of my heartbeat when we kiss, no matter how long it's for.

You're the way the stars seem to tell me that you love me at night,
And how even when we're fading that same love always shines.
You're the way I drink myself to sleep in thoughts of your pain,
And no matter how hard I love you, you always feel the same.

You're the sand and I'm the ocean when the tide comes in each day.
And you're the ship that promises to take me far away.
You're the salt on my lip and the sun on my back,
You're all that I am, and you're all that I lack.
 Sep 2013 The New Kestrel
---
Flight
 Sep 2013 The New Kestrel
---
I am an expert
At running away
I enjoy the exhilaration
That it gives me
But perhaps that's not the only time I
Run away.
So shall I live, supposing thou art true,
Like a deceivèd husband; so love’s face
May still seem love to me, though altered new,
Thy looks with me, thy heart in other place.
For there can live no hatred in thine eye,
Therefore in that I cannot know thy change.
In many’s looks, the false heart’s history
Is writ in moods and frowns and wrinkles strange,
But heaven in thy creation did decree
That in thy face sweet love should ever dwell;
Whate’er thy thoughts, or thy heart’s workings be,
Thy looks should nothing thence but sweetness tell.
    How like Eve’s apple doth thy beauty grow,
    If thy sweet virtue answer not thy show!
i have already
blown out the
birthday candles,
closed my eyes on
11:11
and whispered upon
shooting stars.

the dandelions
in my garden
are now gone
and for some
strange reason,
so are all the
four-leaf clovers.
and in the fountain,
you will find
all my change.

and i am
extremely confused
to why we
haven't both
fallen in love.
now not only are the
wishbones
broken,
but so
am
**i.
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