I desire to see what holds tomorrow,
but I dread it will end in sorrow,
it just might,
I desire to love you once again,
but I dread it's inevitable end,
who's to say it will?
I desire to stay here tonight,
and dread the dreams that end in sweat and fright,
maybe we are just playing a game,
I desire to hear your voice even when it's dead,
but I dread when we are just wait for what needs to be said
it has a chance to work,
I desire to wait,
but I dread it's fate,
I look down,
are there no more?
is this just the fates trying to show their power?
I will pick up another flower.

Dear my small world,
It's early and teenagers are walking to school,
the sun is warm and cool,
my eyes are closing as I pass them by going the other way,
my old friend creeps on me and reminds me of a spring mountain day,
being those kids walking slow,
not knowing the episode,
but enjoying the show,
their mountains are just a brighter green,
my old friend gets in my stomach and the top he tends to lean,
the smells of anxiety and the fear of uncompleted homework,
make me smile,
I pass by swings and see my world become night,
and two kids in Florida are in my sight,
talking aboot nonsense but still returning to smile and laugh,
it becomes funny and two drunk kids in Reno take their place,
I can tell who they were but I couldn't see a face,
my old friend creeps to my mouth and my past I can taste,
I suddenly am on the swings holding my hand in front,
staring at a star,
reaching out with one eye closed I feel like I can grab it,
my eyes open and I almost take oot some teenager,
something's die hard I say,
and they look the other way,
and say, "ok crazy",
the past maybe getting hazy,
but the feelings never die.

I waited,
at times I debated,
feeling like a teenager aboot to go on their first date,
I had work the next day but didn't care if I had to stay up late,
it was going to be the first time I saw you,
and nothing was going to stop me,
it was an electricity that I couldn't put down ,
and my breath was gone as if there any need for air,
I saw you
and I couldn't help but stare,
the night was slow but gone to fast,
like trying to remember a face from your past,
I need you is all I could muster to say,
and I won't call tomorrow a day,
how could I when I won't be able to see your smile
brighter than the sun,
so I will keep tonight inside my heart but never oot of sight,
I'll say that I still have walls, but that is a lie,
Like headlines written in the night sky,
of my life,
you have become permanent.

Dear my hopeful tomorrow,
I walk the streets during the day and during the night,
for you to take away my sorrow,
its hidden but still there,
and I feel you kiss me with rain in the air,
time and people move slow here,
like they know the date but forgot the year,
so I keep the headphones pressed in my ear,
wondering yet smiling, how did I get here,
tomorrow will be beautiful I say,
as the clouds and rain tell me you're going to stay,
I can dance with a memory,
but feeling down and low,
I smile as I hold my hand oot,
and ask like a geek for you to dance,
my hopeful tomorrow

Dear nostalgic memories,
I think of you as the wind smiles into a breeze,
almost like this sleeping city is making it ease,
lights are coming to life as my cigarette is dying,
the sleepy warmth and moonlight glow,
is something I am starting to love, to know,
watching from my own little spot,
a sense of ease and a feeling of dread,
come sweeping in waves inside my head,
to feel longing for what has been said and done,
and a hope for what is to come,
I am like the dancing dead,
I should be asleep and in bed,
but the lack of comic mischief,
and cosmic drama,
are keeping me away,
making my little stairwell,
one of my many pieces of heaven,
in a life that can feel like hell,
so I will sit here and pay the price,
of not sleeping tonight and not waking tomorrow,
because I can feel the ocean breeze, and for once in a long time in my life,
I can say,
I just feel nice.

We walked in to darkness,
putting off what we both know what it will bring,
as sadness began to flare, and anxiety started to sing,
we both looked up to stars,
knowing it's one thing that has always healed our scars,
I began to cry a bit,
knowing it was going to be a while till we got to sit,
and talk aboot how many views we got that day,
I said I love where the middle star in Orion sits,
because the darkest spot in the night sky,
is a lie,
its a gateway to every thing that has ever come to pass,
and as our cigarettes came to an, I was praying the final drags would last,
we smiled at each other with a knowing,
that in the morning I would be going,
with a sigh I put the night to and end,
talking aboot the pictures each of us need to send,
we said good night, with a belly full of lead,
the conversation never ends, but the cigarette is dead,
and we say,
sleep well and see you in the morning,
looking at you with eyes full of sad, we say I'll talk to you later,
but in my heart I am saying,
I love you Dad.