It's kind of sad to think, that it's been a whole **** year,
and I still listen to this song, as the clock reads 4am,
and down my cheek still slides, a single lonely tear.

And I'm still sat here missing you,
and I still don't know what to do,
and I still tearfully miss,
that last so haunting kiss.

Still you're out there having fun,
or more likely asleep,
I'll sleep with the rising sun,
because in love I'm far too deep.

My best friend looked to me and said,
“I’m not a writer, I’m an author. Writers write, authors create.”
and if that’s true, then I’m a writer, not a poet.
I don’t create the poems, your beauty does.
...I just write them down.

Goodnight little angel, so far away,
and know in my dreams, you always stay.
Good-morning my love, I hope dreamed sweet,
my love for you burns, with an undying heat.
I'll sleep now my dear, but you're in my heart
as you have been ever since, the very very start.

And there never was a girl I loved quite like you,
but I'm sitting here thinking that we are through,
because how I can get back to how things used to be,
when I looked at you, and you smiled me,
and there we were kissing on that New Years eve,
didn't think one day you'd up and leave,
still, if you looked at me and smiled and said
"I love you boy get it into your head"
then I'd open my arms and I'd open my heart
because you my dear are a work of art.

The hug that felt like everything, would really be alright.
The kiss that without a doubt, had easily made my night.
The girl that I am falling for, without a single fear.
The relationship I'm wishing for, is drawing ever near.

I have no choice, but to be alright.
I can't be heartbroken, I've lost the right.

Far too long since I'd held,
those perfect, perfect hips.
Far too long since I'd kissed,
your beautiful sweet lips.
And here I am as you sleep,
wishing you a good night,
and promising you,
that it'll all be alright.
I love you, more and more
with each passing moon.
I've waited to so long,
but now I'll see you so soon

I love you little angel,
your art, your smile, your voice,
I love you more than anything,
you'll always be my choice.

My dear little angel, I  love you,
and know I now, you love me too,
and every moment, was worth it for,
now I've got my, forever more.

Never has, such love been felt,
your every word, makes my heart melt,
we've always been waiting, but oh so soon
the wait will be over, and our love can bloom.

I told you I loved you more,
now you don't love me at all,
it seem this is all life's got in store,
but so far in love I did fall,
and I pretend it's not hurting
that you won't answer my text,
'cause with someone else you are flirting,
everyone left, I should've known you'd be next,
guess I just held on hope,
But if asked for a chance you'd say nope.

Why are the words, always so hard to say?
I can say them to myself, each and every day,
but not when it's time, to say it to you.;
I really wish that you just knew.

I don't know how to word the way you make me feel.
But it's been so long, yet I still care, so clearly it is real.
But your feelings are a mystery, a cypher I can't read.
I'm getting such mixed signals, from each word and thought and deed.

Do you remember that night under the stars and moon,
such a great time, but it ended far too soon.
Cause I remember that kiss, short, soft and sweet,
with the prettiest girl, that I ever did meet.

Do you remember how, it all came to an end,
cause I'm struggling here, just to be your friend.
You were mine, I was yours, I didn't need more
But now she's gone, that sweet girl I adore.

Our every kiss, was cast in shade.
each time your presence, had my day made,
it was the dark of night, or rain, or cloud,
the pathetic fallacy was screaming loud,
yet I ignored it, for I loved you,
but now I know, I wasn't meant to.

With your perfect smile, and beautiful voice,
you my love, are my favourite choice.
With your laugh so cute, and words so kind,
you my princess, are on my mind.
With your gorgeous eyes and wit so clever,
you babydoll, are my forever.

Sorry, I stayed up too long,
and in my heart I felt a song,
about your beauty, and your grace,
they way you smile, and make my heart race.

But I'm sorry, I just stayed up too long,
even now, I know writing this is wrong.

My god she's beautiful, with those ever perfect lips,
through which in my dreams my tongue, effortlessly slips.
My god she is so funny, with the way she makes me smile,
her every witty comment, leaves me laughing for a while.
My god she is so perfect, in every single way,
and oh how I wish she knew, that she always makes my day.

I've written all these poems, I know all the right things to say.
but they don't matter anymore , they don't make difference do they?

That girl's still got to be in there, she can't just be gone,
oh it's not fair,, why on earth did you have to move on?

Why am I stuck here still loving you,
hoping that you feel same but you never do.

I miss you, and that's all that I can say,
I don't understand why I still feel this way,
it's been so long, it's been more than a year,
yet life without you's still my greatest fear.

But you are happy, so I'll leave you be,
you deserve to be happy, and there's no need for me.

I rip the ******* veins, right out of my ******* wrists,
and I want to punch the wall, until so broken are my fists,
I ****** up and now I have no idea just what to do,
these poems are so pointless, now they're not being read by you;

I hide my poetry from you,
to hide the things so painfully true,
the things I don't have, the words to say,
so I keep them from you, but maybe one day...
I won't have to.

You're gone again, I should stop trying.
I should speed up, this slow, slow dying.
When you came back, I let myself care,
and was happy a moment, an occurrence so rare,
yet you are gone, and it doesn't matter.
I've no longer a heart, for your absence to shatter.

And they won't even notice, and they won't even care,
and it makes no difference, that I'm not even there.
So when the day comes, and I'm gone for good,
they'll continue unaffected, just as they should

Goodnight my dear, I hope it's great,
better than, those as of late,
I hope you sleep and dream so fine,
even though I can't finish this next line.

I'm in the mood to a write a poem,
give me ideas and to you I'll show 'em,
in the form of rhymes or some special prose,
romantic, sad, cute, or any of those.

I'm the mood to show some more,
but I can't show the ones, about the girl I adore.

I'm the person they all come to, when they need a helping hand,
and I'm happy that's the role I play, though it's not the one I planned.
Yet who can I go to, when I'm the one that's breaking?
When my mind's a mess, and my heart just keeps on aching.
Perhaps I should just sit here, shaking all alone,
pretending I am doing just fine, wearing a mask of stone.

There no way to win, a war you're not waging,
so I'll channel this fire, that inside me is raging.
Yet I won't let it change me, my honour I'll uphold,
and let never be said, when my story is told,
that I did the wrong thing, to fulfill my desire,
even if saying I got it, would make me a liar.

I remember all the days on which I used to let you know,
how much you mean to me and how I'll always love you so.
But you deleted all the messages and burned the poems away,
for every moment we were in love you've forgotten that whole day.
But I remember what you wore when I pinned you on the sand,
I remember how you joked I kissed away that burn that scarred your hand,
and I remember those white zip earrings, from that perfect, perfect day,
every moment of you and I, in my mind will always stay.

I say goodnight to the moon and goodnight to each star,
and goodnight my angel though from me she's so far.
I hope she's slept soundly, each night since she fell,
my every night is so perfect, for in my dreams she does dwell.
But not in my waking, for she's found happiness elsewhere,
yet I really do hope she still know's that I care.
I hope tomorrow treats her, to all the good that can be,
and in her dreams she does smile, so happy, and free.

It's what is best.
It still hurts though.
Now I'll sit here in pain,
with nowhere to go.
And you'll be sitting there,
thinking of him.
So I'll cut of my breathing,
till the world starts to go dim.
I'll break my knuckles,
I'll beat my fists,
and try to ignore,
this pain in my wrists.
Because nothing is better,
than helping you,
it might hurt a lot,
but it's the best thing to do.

You'll never know how many poems you've inspired,
or how many night on which, you cross my mine when I'm tired.
You'll never know how much I care right now,
because I really do want to explain, but I've just no idea on how.

In my head rings the call, of my swiftly beating heart,
and I find my thinking, way back to the start.
Had I known the future then, what would I do?
Because the pain of loss, was a lot to go through.
But I like to think, I'd have still chosen this path,
though many wish otherwise, and on their behalf,
I will say this much, and this much only,
though so much has changed, I'll still die being me.

If just for a moment, I knew how you felt,
then maybe I could play, the cards I've been dealt.
But as things stand, I don't get the game,
everything's different, but each night's the same

Oh what does it matter? There's "Nothing to say"
and if there was, there's no difference anyway.
So what if there's not, maybe I want to,
it's better than sitting here, writing of you.

But it doesn't matter, just forget my name,
then maybe one day, this won't hurt the same

I sit and stare into the beautiful night,
and oh the moon, is shining so bright,
but brighter still, was the smile on your face,
we swept up the light, and you made my heart race.
Because there she was, the girl that I knew,
the girl that I love, she was just sneaking though.

And just for a moment, I remembered why,
why I haven't given up, why I stay and I try,
but the girl that I love, would rather I die,
except for that moment, when I felt that was a lie.

In retrospect I should have lied,
left her alone till my heart died.
But we all know, I'm not that strong,
I couldn't help it, though it was wrong.

Now things are so different, from the start,
and I here I sit,and curse my heart.

Another goodnight, for a sleeping you,
a great many of these poems, I've come to accrue.
But still I say, goodnight, sleep well,
and in your dreams I hope you dwell,
on the things that give you a reason to smile,
and that you get many in the next little while.
I hope you wake up, to a perfect day,
and find such beauty reflected, by those eyes of blue-grey.

It's hurts to know that you are gone,
and now every word I say is wrong,
I can't even be your friend,
I just wish that it would end.

Part of me wants to take my secrets back,
and let the blood bleed onto black,
but I promised I'd never do that to you,
so here I am. Trying not to.

It's too cloudy tonight, to see the sky,
and in this dark I want to die.
And oh my god that voice is back,
pointing out all that I lack.
Why on earth am I still here?
I've had no purpose for nigh on a year.

There is so much, I want to say, but where do I begin?
So instead I'll drag a knife across, my fragile, pale skin.

Why do the words get stuck in my throat,
why can my fingers not type them out?
Why can't I say just how I feel,
why am I so full of doubt?

I'm but a fixer of broken things,
but there's nothing I can do.
I'm usually good, with things like words,
but not when they are for you.

The sun shone through your hair
as you got lost in your book
oh with your beauty so fair
all of my love, you then took

Goodnight, my friend, I hope you sleep well,
I hope that tomorrow, doesn't put you through hell.
But if it does, then I want you to know,
that you're cared about no matter, where you go.
You amaze me more, than words can express,
and I'm sorry for the days, your life's full of stress.
But chin up my friend, tomorrow'll be good,
if we get what we deserve, then it really should.

Your eyes still know me, but do your lips?
Do you remember how it felt, to have my hand round your hips?
I know you remember who I was, but do you know how you felt?
Do you remember the way I made your heart melt?
Do your hands remember mine, like mine remember yours?
Do you remember how I laughed, when we were sitting outdoors?

I don't think you do, I think you forgot,
and for that reason alone, I envy you a lot.

I'm so forgetful,
Because I'm busy remembering the important things.
Like the voice of my angel,
Who lost her wings,
or the way she smelled,
or the way she walked,
or the way she hit me,
or the way she talked.

Yet away from me, these things do slip,
the important things, escaped my grip.

Writing has always, been my calling,
and writing is but the act of falling.
Falling in love, or falling apart,
curse my ever, falling heart.

Every villain is a hero, in their own mind.
Every monster, is just normal, to their own kind.
The monster in the dungeon, well they live there.
But when I am who I am, you all stare.
To become a villain, I just did what was best,
then let you all know that, and you did the rest/

Why is it when asked about love, our answers are never sweet?
Never stories of stolen kisses? Or intense and passionate heat?
No, our stories are always sorrowful, stories of such pain.
Complaints of the things we did, and warnings of 'never again'?

Every kiss we shared was so desperate,
‘cause we knew it could be our last
Every moment together,
Well now they’re just in the past.

But with him,
You kiss like you’ve got forever
Spend time like…
It’s ending never

You love him
Like you never even looked at me
and you look at him
Like he’s all you see

Hundreds of days, and countless knives,
I've lived many different lives,
sometimes I want riches, sometimes I want fame,
but in this life, all I want, is someone who feels the same.