Am I a pushover?
Maybe
But
If other people get their way
I experience something new.
And that's okay.

So much excitement
Adrenaline makes it feel
Good
I'm learning so much
So fast
Hopefully the pain goes away
So that I may continue
My training.
Running is fine.
Jumping is pretty OK.
But landing...
Ow.
Maybe I'll rest a bit.

You asked
A while ago
For deep conversations?
Right?
Well
I delivered
Somewhat.

No one knows
What your nose knows
Nearly as well as
Your nose knows
That your nose knows your nose
Better than anyone knows your
Nose knows your nose.

Well, well
I am well
Lately I haven't fallen down
...
A well.
So I'm, well, well!
Well, bye!

Today
I began a new life.
I am renewed
Reborn
I feel such
Overwhelming
Joy
That I can barely hold it in.
I think
If I make this mindset
Last past today
I can live life renewed
Loving
Faithful.

In a little over twelve hours
A huge thing
An essential part
Of my life
...
I hope it goes well
And I hope I can fall asleep.

Why is it
That the one night I really
Need sleep
And can't afford to lose it
I can't sleep.
This really matters...

Now I think about it
I need to stop
It needs to stop
I know it's enjoyable
But
Stop it me
I don't want this
Though I do sometimes
It needs to just
STOP

I reach out
But I cannot touch you
I cannot touch anything

Let's sing.
Now, let us sing.
For our happiness.
For our sorrow.
For our hidden feelings.

Let's sing.
Now, let us sing.
For our pain.
For our healing.
For our love.

Let's sing.
Now, let us sing.
For you.
For me.
For our amazing lives.

Even if you
Don't sing
Make a joyful noise.
Laugh.
Squeal.
Cry.

Because living
Is enough to be thankful for.
But all of us
Have so much more
Than living.
Even if we don't know it
Right now.

May our sight be unveiled.

The music I listen to
Would generally be called
Screamo
But it isn't.
It's metalcore.
It's christian worship.
And it's intense.
It makes me excited
It fills me with the passion
To combat the evils of this world.
To most people
It will sound like
Growls
Screams
And loud instruments.
But to me
It sounds like
Joy
Encouragement
Energy
and
Freedom.

Why do you
Tell me to shut up
When I tell you
That you're cute?
Because I mean...
It makes you get
Even cuter.

When I'm around you
Time stands still
I'm mesmerized.
I can't believe how
Lucky I am
To have someone as
Amazing
Beautiful
Intelligent
...
I could go on
But I won't for now.
I really want to say it
In person.
I will.
One of these times.
I can easily text it
But that *****.
I'll try.
Why?
Because you're worth it.

include

using namespace std;

int main()
{
cout << "As humans\n Are we run by\n Emotions?\n Or are we\n Programmed?" << endl;
cin.ignore();
return 0;
}

Emotions
Why shouldn't they be kept bottled up?
I wonder.
I do it all the time.
If I feel bad
I have ways to relax.
Quite a few
In fact.
Does that count as a
Release?

I do not know
How I feel.
To be  honest,
It really doesn't matter.
I don't care if I'm
Hurt
Suffering
In pain.
It matters more
That I keep others
From feeling
That way.
Therefore,
My own feelings should come
Last.

Here they come
The tears
...
Took them long enough.

You say you forgive me
And I believe you
But
The problem is
I cannot forgive myself.
So I can't stop apologizing.
Sorry.

Even when I am trying
To tread carefully
I ***** up.
In fact
I made it worse.

Was a single tear
Really all I could spare?
I feel like ****
I'm a ******* *******
Only one?!
What is my problem.
Sitting on my high ******* horse
Feeling glad that I don't judge others
Like some christians
When I do it anyway.
Feeling bad
And all I can bring
Is ONE tear...
****.

I am a fool.
An idiot.
A worthless *******
At times.
I pretend to be
Deep
But I'm not.
My life is easy
I have very few worries.
And I hurt others
Easily.
Careless words
...
This *****.

Sometimes I wish
That I could cry.
Sometimes I feel
Irredeemable.
Sometimes
I feel like the worst person ever.
I think...
I am.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm...
Sorry.

I never
Want to give you
Pain
Ever again.
I know I will
But
I will try.
Because
That is all I can do.

Hey
I love you a bunch
It's been almost 3 months
You're an amazing person
I know you've been worried
I think we're ok.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I can't express it.
I try.
But I can't.
It's impossible.
I have this love for you
It's amazing.
Uncontrollable.
And now
That I am not
Wandering
From MY faith
I will have more
And more
And more
Love
For you
And everyone.
...
I love you.

My soul yearns
For your presence
As that is everything
That I need.

My life
Is not mine
I am returning to you
Your arms
Your love.
The worship says
That you are altogether lovely
And I agree.
Because you saved me
From myself.
I will bow to no other.
I am yours
And you are mine.
Your love
Is mine to spread.
I am the butter knife
The world is my bread.
I want to cover it with
The butter.
Your love.
Give me these visions
Give me this love
And help me
To love unconditionally.
I am almost crying
Humbled by your majesty
I can barely move
In your presence.
Everything pales in comparison
With you
And this blessed peace
This yearning to help others
However I can.
There is so much to do
And I am not sure if I can
Do it all.
I cannot do it
Alone
By any means.
I need your help.
And the help of those
Who You call
To love on this
Fallen
Broken
Colorless
Corrupt
Beautiful
World.
I ask this in your name.

Most of my life
It took me 14 years
To be found
Saved.
I have no time
To wander
To drift
Because there is others
Who don't have this
Blessed
Love
Assurance
Forgiveness.
I must stay solid
And live for others
The remainder of my life.

I won't get mad
The only thing I will
Become
Is sad.
I love you
Too much.
You say love makes pain
I agree.
So
I will be sad.
But this too shall pass.
I won't be sad long.
And I'll still love you.

Your arms
Hold me lovingly
You constantly
Forgive me
When I ***** up
All the time.
We all can be forgiven.
All we need to do
Is ask.
That is your love
Other oriented
Self sacrificial
It reaches all of us
And protects us.
**Redeems us

Lately I've been
Wandering
Slipping
Fading
But today
I am on my way
Back to You.
There is resistance
And that is how I know
That I am going the
Right way.
I was pulling away
Hiding myself.
But I am on my way
Back.
Back
Into your arms.
Because that is
Where I belong.

I am not going to write
About everything I love
About you.
Instead,
Everything I hate
Or even dislike
Is as follows:

Subconscious
Under your conscious
Lurking
Waiting
Manipulating
Manipulated
By small things
Big things
Nonexistent things
I'm curious
What mine has
To say.

Is this an
Escape?
The things I do
The words I say
The music I enjoy
The people I love
I'm unsure why
This word is going
Through my head
Escape
Escape
Escape
I only have one thing
That I want to escape.
We all want to escape it.
Take my hand.
We can escape together.

Real monsters
Do not hide in grass
They do not
Stay off of the sidewalk
They are not
In the street
They hide
Just out of sight
In the hearts
Of men.

Around you
I still feel nervous
At times.
I'm not
Uncomfortable
And
I trust you
I just feel
Nervous.
Or is that
Excitement?
Well
I thought I'd let
You know
That the novelty
Still hasn't worn off.

Most of our talks
Are through letters
Text
Words
But somehow
Even through the distance
You manage to make me
Happy.

We all have words
We enjoy.
Some of mine?
I'm glad you asked.
Gothic
Shadowy
Scythe
Cross
Slash
Deep
Tattered
Gouge
Stit­ch
Terrifying
Love
Fear
Unknown
Unnamed
Tear
Hide
Blood
Churning
­Agony
Hatch
Eternal
Internal
Unending
I don't necessarily like
The connotations of
These words.
But I like them.
What are your favorites?

Let us have some
Deep conversation
What shall we talk about?
There is so much
To choose from.
Shall we ponder our own existence?
Shall we consider the intricacies of life?
Shall we prophesy the future?
Shall we discuss the past?
There is any number of
Things to talk about.
Take your pick.

It takes time
To get into the state
Of mind
Of my mind
To write my thoughts
And observations.
As I write
The words begin to
Flow
And I have less control
Though I choose every one
With care.
...
Funny how that works.

Justice
Justification
Punishment
Sentence
They are only
Politically correct
Words for
**Revenge

Three words
Do you know them?
I bet you do.
"I love you"
It is hard to say
But for you
I can get these
Three little words
Out of my mouth.
Why?
Because I know
Beyond a shadow of a doubt
That it is true.

This world
Is fallen.
This world
Is corrupted.
This world
Is possessed.
I pains me to see
Every day
That this world isn't
Getting better.
I too
Am sinking.
I forget
What matters
I am not
Polite
I don't compliment
When I want to.
Am I afraid?
Because I always feel
Like something is
Holding me back.
Something that is
Not
Me or Myself or I.
I want to tell people
"I love you"
I want to say
"I like that outfit"
I want to remember
"Please, thank you"
And I know to
And I try
But it isn't easy
And I find myself
Struggling
To say these things.
But I'm not sure why.

Canoodling is to
Kiss and cuddle amorously
...
I looked it up.

When I am around you
I am Happy
Joyful
Amused
Content
Excited
Mesmerized.
I don't feel like this
Alone.
But around you
Something changes.

Sitting under a tree
Next to you
Not for long
But
There is few things
That I have enjoyed
More.

I do not write
To express my feelings.
I write
To find them out.
Because I can't keep up
With my mind
And I don't know
What I think about.
That is why I have no drafts
Because I want to know
My raw feelings
Unedited.

Answer me this.
What is the difference
Between words
And
Poetry?
I write words
That could pass as
Poetry
Or is it
Poetry
That could pass as
Words?
Someone tell me
Because I fail to see the difference.

Am I a poet?
No.
I don't even like
Poetry.
It was never something I
Liked
Read
Enjoyed
Something changed
What was it?
Oh yes.
I read one
Of hers
And I felt pain
Agony
Excitement
Joy
Sorrow
Anger
Bitterness
I still
Hate
Poetry
And I refuse to write it
Or read it.
Cryptic words
With hidden meanings
Are too much work
To convey a feeling
These so called
Poets
Just seem...
I don't know.
Something.
I don't write
Poetry
I write
Feelings
Thoughts
Worries
Love
I am not a poet
I am a boy
A soul
A conscience
Yearning for a way
To express itself
In this vast
Unending
World
Of poets.

I'm bored
I want attention
...
I need you.