Don't tell me the pieces of us
fell from my careless hands.
As if I was the Medusa
who turned your veins bitter,
and your skin to stone.

Anxiously hunched shoulders
can only hold up a relationships for so long
before giving under the pressure
of resentful looks and strained silences.

It wasn't I that scattered
eggshells in our home,
ear posed for gentle cracking in the
unfaithful hours of the morning.

My hands spread wide still aren't
enough to cradle your expectations,
and here I am, struggling to hold on to the edge,
as the gap between reasonable and unattainable widens.

I won't be blamed for leaving.
Not when your eyes have held ghosts for far too long.

I am blue
my skin blue
my hair blue
my blood blue

an ocean of blue lace
surrounds my body

I traipse through my oil world
all I can see is blue

blue tinted lenses branded into my face

like a cow I am branded with your blue
you are my owner
I am meat you sell on after you **** it
you raised me up to turn me blue

kissing you was like swerving into oncoming traffic

i can never tell if i am more haunted by empty picture frames or the ashes of their contents

you taught me that the saying "pick your battles" meant not answering when love was at the door

sometimes when i drink whiskey i swear i can hear your voice in the creases of my bedsheets & i sleep on the floor

i still catch myself running my hands over things you touched the most, looking for the echoes of your fingertips

i practice things i'll never say to you

i remember the day you told me you didn't like poetry, how "everything's already been said" & how "nothing meaningful can be captured without being cliche" you know, i don't miss you like the sun and moon, i do not miss you like tide bent waves crashing on the shoreline, i miss you like a chernobyl  swingset misses children

rumor has it that drowning is a lot like coming home, that drinking bleach can **** the butterflies in your stomach

for your love of cigarettes, i would have been an ashtray

this halloween i want to dress up as the you when you loved yourself and show up on your doorstep

i never understood what you meant when you said i was an instrument, back when you would cup your hands around my chest and breathe through the holes in my heart, i still wonder if the sounds i made remind you of wind chimes

i never paid much attention to abandoned buildings until i became one

in my dreams all the flowers smell like your perfume

i am the only person who has ever wished for the same snowflake to fall twice

if i could go back, and rewrite the definition of audacity, it would be how when we lost the bet of love, you said "we never shook on it"

i love you, if the feeling is not mutual, please pretend this was a poem

the only apology i want from you, is to have you repeat the names of children we will never have in your parents living room until they *****

we are the same person if you find yourself up at 4am dry heaving promises, or if you are kept awake by the laughter of those who've abandoned you

nobody ever told you that goodbyes taste like the back of stamps

sometimes i'm convinced that the only reason we hug, is so you can check my back for exit wounds