I take another gulp of the freedom
of life deep into my being
happy to be and to be aware
the spirit world holds me fast
where I become part of everything
and my little existence holds
eternity within and without
all known and unknown creation
yes I am loved that much
yes we are loved that much

I want the sun to descend on me
and boil my blood
so every atom screams
and fades away.

I want the black ocean
to swallow me
and rend me limb from limb
as food for sharks.

I want the wind
to lift me from this cold earth
and batter my body
on jagged mountain peaks.

I want my soul
to tear me open from inside
and make it's great escape.

What I really want is
a shy breeze to flicker in my ear
the secrets of an open heart
and quiet mind.

hold up a second,
My mind is stuck on one thought,
And it has been the last week
But i don't feel like writing about it,
*I would write for days.

The build-up is slow.
Repress the emotion, the expression of feeling.
Catch the tears before they fall, and
Break the grief with your forced smile.
The fall is unexpected.
Once the tears well over the dam,
Once the frustration boils over,
Once you cannot weep in silence anymore.
The catharsis is quick.
The screams come all at once.
Cheeks are wet with rivers of sadness,
Forced smiles are shattered by frowns.
The aftermath is painful.
Looking around to see who remains;
Who hasn't left me?
Who hasn't been scared away?
The realization is shocking.
Those whom I've trusted most,
Those whom I've loved most,
Have shied away, saving themselves.
But the end, the end is striking, renewing:
You pick me back up,
You put me back together,
And I remember how to love again.