Where were you that night?
when the stars were not as bright
when the music was dull
and my mind was a dark chaos
The demons were loud, so loud
but you were nowhere to be found

All those hours I should've been sleeping
But my ugly thoughts were creeping around.
I dug for the answers but I was digging my own grave
All the blank stares, the faux smiles
while my mind was distant and wild
I tried to focus but...
I'm already
so far gone

I need you

I hate you
For shaping me
Into everything I never wanted to be

Its been this bad
Once before
It scares me to think I might be going that way again
It scares me to think of the mess I'm in
It scares me that's it's all come so fast
It scares me to think how long this might last
I'm empty inside
And I cannot hide it
Weeks ago I could not stop smiling
Now I'm barely crying
Has all emotion left me
Except this ache
This ache deep inside
It makes my muscles shake
An people stare
They're worried
I may seem angry
It not your fault
I am really sorry
I'm trying to be happy
Tomorrow I need to talk about this
Or soon
I can't sleep
You ask if I want Tylenol
But pain killers won't **** the type of pain that's killing me
Oh please
If only I could have a good cry
To let some of this escape
I can't stay awake and I can't sleep
Why does this always cut so deep?

a quiet in my head, the words are left unsaid
and sting on the tip of my tongue
the tears have dried and salt stains my bruised cheeks
I don't want to eat
I don't want to see
my eyelids fall and I descend into a dark hole
the looking glass into my soul, with a blood-stained lense
I struggle for air, my veins are stretching ready to tear
I don't even care
take this pain far away, let me go to my escape
I need a pause -- an extra five
I'm struggling to stay alive
my back lies on the cold ground
I don't hear a sound

If they knew
If they saw
My heart pink and raw
Would they stand in awe?

If they saw
If they read
All the thoughts in my head
Would the truth stain them red?

If they read
If they knew
If they saw


If I shared...


no

        no
                    
                 ­ *nobody cares

With the scars on your skin
With your soul wearing thin
All the places you've been
I love you still

With the hurt in your eyes
With your fear of goodbyes
Every time that you cry
I love you still

With your delicate heart
With your mind torn apart
I will never part
I love you still

With your aching soul
With your empty holes
When you're losing control
I love you still

With you life turning black
With you wanting you back
When your heart starts to crack
I love you still

With a smile that fades
With the choices you've made
When your hopes float away
I love you still