time has passed
and you have been
helped to forget
there are the
tremendously
good things about
me.

I was awoken
by your hands
coldly enfolding
my warm fingers

I was good for that
moment, take on
me slowly in the
background

I wasn't sad it left,
I was happier
it was there
even for
but a moment,
a love
remembrance,
a faded memory

I don't want to be sad
I don't want to be angry
I want to be happy
I want to get lost in it
Forever moving, forever creating
I'm too still for my own good
I want to fly, not be grounded,
but my dreams only tend to hurt others
they say it seems impossible
or improbable and too doomed to fail and my mind is nonsense destined for medication but I don't know about all of that

I'm at impasse after impasse trying to
be in love, when will things turn out right for me ?

I can see the pollen course
through the air like this
valley were a vein.
It would be a shame
to be allergic to the
lifeblood of nature.
If only there were
pedals slowly flowing,
would be beautiful.

I don't care if it takes years,
I'll sit and wait
until it feels right.
and at that time,
it'll be glorious.
I'll know God
like she's
my second sister.
I won't even
remember when
I missed her.

it was such a light rain today
that it was practically a mist,
I could barely feel it on my skin.
I'm hopeful, but then I'm doubtful.

is there something wrong about finding beauty in a flower even if it's fake ?
it surely wasn't placed there for me in your abandonded car.
and there are some budding white ones nearby.
I don't even know, I can hardly keep track of anything nowadays.
I'm a fish-head or some pontificating ape or just some bozo you might hate, love, or ignore, or even might be scared of.
J can't even tell, no not one bit.
Maybe my face is just one faded memory waiting to be rediscovered;
maybe I've lost you so many days that I haven't even kept any count.