i can't find all the words
     to tell you how much I love you.
i can't find all the words
     to apologize how much I hurt you.
i can't find all the words
     to say goodbye to the love that last forever.

yet i say; nonetheless- and forgive the attempt in its fruition.

the metal casket.
a machine pyre.
the ceremonial sky imparting smoke
pushed upward with each and every
of deep gray plume where they screened
into the brilliant white channeling clouds.

There’s a secret in heaven
In the vines weaved through the overcast
Of a leafy canopy
Someone sleeps in the gathering
Of rain puddles and
Drips like the liquid
In an IV
They say,
Someday
We will be free
From our lost ideals
And speak the last words
We can muster
Someday
We will hear them floating in the
Particles of the wind
And become the stories
That the earth
Tells to the stars

when we cry in each other's embrace
the love leaks, stains our shirts;
like before and thereafter.
our wintery clause has little naught but
tenderness and sweets.

when you had finally entirely let me
in,
i touched a deep and dark seed that I
found most probable
and never said it aloud in respect of
your secrets
but it never changed my view of you
and I decided
to understand how to understand you
and how to heal something like that from its root while you hid your beautiful flowers i had seen all along.

let it be true
that when
i am close to you
i'll look into your
eyes
and place your hand
upon my
steady flourishing
heart.

I thought I saw her dancing-

in between all the other little dance girls.
Her face looked kind of like yours.

Her heart was as pure as precious as pretty.
She moved confidently with vigor, control, and the power of grace, she had practiced for weeks.
You could tell with just a look she knew what she was doing.
She smiled through it all, her team were coordinated.
Arms up here, high kick there. One step where, next step with care.
The edge of an ice skater, the pen of an artist.

The music stopped and the applause roared.
She hugged her friends and they were beaming with
Christmas and Hanukkah.
It was beautiful, and I tried not to clap past any child's parent.

Because truth be told, I hadn't seen her performance just yet.
Nonetheless- I felt her, and I loved her no matter the same.
For time would tell her story to me.